The Walking Dead Power Rankings: S7 E1 “Right Hand Man”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe…and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

After the Season 7 premiere, showrunner Scott Gimple told the live Talking Dead audience that the show was “looking for a way to break the audience”…Judging by social media reaction, they certainly accomplished that.

We spent nearly half a year waiting for the answer to the Season 6’s cliffhanger of Who would meet Lucille first and even that didn’t seem like enough time to brace for impact. We’re talking about a series where zombies and humans alike are mangled, torn to shreds, decapitated, curb-stomped even…and the way our two fallen characters died STIL made fans declare that they are “ex fans”. Yes, the bashing of their heads made Noah’s face-ripping death seem PG-13 but in my opinion…

A) I’m really happy to see this series and Game of Thrones haven’t completely desensitized people.

B) Here’s your reminder that The Walking Dead is a horror series. You’re not supposed to be comfortable.

Before we get to the rankings, a quick moment for the fallen.

Abraham

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The tell for Negan, when he decided to absolutely obliterate Abraham’s head, was when he immediately thought he needed a shave after seeing the ginger handlebar mustache. I think we all knew that Abraham wasn’t going to grow anymore in this story. He also seemed to come to grips with that well before his exit. Sasha and everything were just gravy to his arc.

In his last moment though, telling Negan to “Suck my nuts” was as poetic a way Abraham could go out.

Glenn Rhee

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“Hey, dumbass.”

When Glenn literally dodged his near-death last season, it seemed too obvious because it wasn’t a fitting end for him. I know that he died in the books that way, but THAT was the way a character like him should go. Ironic that Glenn was pardoned for his outburst by Negan, and then killed because of Daryl’s.

Lastly, there’s beauty to the brutal way Glenn left the show. While we could see the dent in his forehead and his eye popping from its socket, the only thing Glenn could do was tell his wife “I will find you.” Maggie and their unborn child were his purpose. Those final words before his last breath could be a theme for what’s to come this season…being there for each other when things look the darkest.

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*wipes tears from cheek*

1. Negan

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The N.W.O (Negan World Order) is off to a hell of a start. Besides shortening this list by 2 characters, Negan broke Rick…and the audience.

How often does a character’s actions force fans to take to Facebook and declare they have quit the show? Not since that time the “Lannisters sent the regards” do I recall a reaction like that. What may be even more messed is the fact that I…kinda love him? What keeps me intrigued is waiting to see how he could possibly be dethroned (It has to happen at some point, right?).

2. Morgan Jones

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Before you freak out, think about it…Morgan is the key to helping Rick and well, everyone, right now. He’s in control of his situation. He’s capable of killing again (thanks to saving Carol). And he’s heading to a place where people where street hockey pads and ride horseback with spears. To beat an army, you need an army…and Morgan could be aligning with one at The Kingdom.

3. Maggie Greene

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Maggie was the de facto Matriarch of Alexandria after Deanna was killed. She was strong and diplomatic, even when held hostage by some of Negan’s people (the first time). She has lost the most on the show and lost even more, after watching Glenn’s head be smashed to pieces. Even in the most peril, as someone who desperately needs to see a doctor, Maggie still stood tall after Negan left and said “Fight them.”

She feels responsible, but we know there are plenty more reasons why the group is in the situation that they are in.

4. Rick Grimes

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Rick thought he could be like Negan before ever even meeting the man. People who wouldn’t fall in line with his ideas became expendable to him. It was his idea to deal with The Hilltop and poke the Negan bear in the first place. Despite his mistakes that helped get the group to where they are now, Rick as dangerous as anyone on the show and the leader of the group.

You can tell that Negan finds him useful too, otherwise it would like have been Rick’s brains dripping from “Lucille”.

5. Simon

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You would think the 2nd-in-command to Negan would be 2nd on this list, right? While Simon clearly has power in the NWO, it’s only because Negan allows it…and apparently needs a marker handy from time to time. We’ve seen Simon before, and I do mean before the S6 finale…He was there on the hunt for Dwight, who had obviously tried escaping from Negan’s camp. Simon had a machete handy and cut off one of his men’s limbs that had been bitten. At least he cares about preserving manpower, right?

6. Dwight

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Dwight may prove to be the most interesting of Negan’s group. We know he has defied the “supreme leader” and clearly paid for it with the insane scar on his face. He has the upper-hand in his rivalry with Daryl, but perhaps he can be swayed to go against Negan and align with his current mortal nemesis? He’s done it once before…

7. Carl Grimes

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The Carl Haters Club needs to sit down for a little bit. Not once did Carl seem phased by Negan’s barking and the threat of losing his arm. Carl gave Negan that defiant glare that we had seen him give his own father in the past. You also have to give credit where it’s due, as he told Rick to just “do it” when the choice was losing an arm or another member of the group.

8. Jesusscreen-shot-2016-10-26-at-8-17-52-pm

If anyone knows how to adjust and survive in the NWO, it’s Jesus. Rick will not only have to rely on him for advice but also for any chance of keeping the alliance with The Hilltop to stay strong against Rick. As mentioned earlier, in order to beat Negan’s army…Rick and Jesus will have to build one of their own.

9. Michonne

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#Richonne lives on!…for now. Negan doesn’t appreciate people speaking up while he is in the middle of a soliloquy but he did let Michonne speak up when Rick was being told to cut off his son’s arm. Why? In Negan-speak, he did almost compliment her for understanding the gravity of their situation. With Daryl literally in a cage, Michonne is the group’s strongest warrior. How will she be utilized next?

10. Sasha

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Sasha has come a very long way since both Bob and Tyrese were killed. Rather than shutdown while watching Abraham be brutally murdered, she stood up with a purpose to help Maggie. While the premiere was meant to break the group down, I think it has also brought them together more. Initially, it seems Sasha is reacting better than most would with the trauma.

11. Carol

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If you followed along with the Power Rankings last season, then you know there was a love-hate relationship with Carol (much like the one she has with just about everyone outside of her group). Her rivalry with Morgan was such a distraction for everyone involved, but somehow it’s led to their new partnership that is heading to The Kingdom. Carol has saved the group multiple times in the past. Will she come back riding in with the horse guys to do it again?

12. Tara

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As far as we know, Tara and Heath have not been picked up by Negan’s henchmen. The more allies Rick has on the outside, the better. And when she finds out what they did to her girlfriend…OH MAN, IS SHE GOING TO LOOK FOR VENGEANCE. All-caps were necessary.

13. Horse Guy

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Horse Guy doesn’t have a name yet, but he does have a horse, a spear, and a community that could help the Alexandrians. He also looks ready to kick ass in roller derby.

14. Father Gabriel

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Father Gabriel has gone from wet blanket to turncoat to protector of Alexandria in a very short time. Among the group that was left behind, I trust him the most to hold his own and protect Baby Judith…as he has sworn to do.

15. Aaron

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I am very unsure how Aaron is going to deal with the trauma of seeing two people he cared about murdered in front of his face. However, he has evolved with Rick’s group, killed for the first time, and remains the most capable of the original Alexandrians. Aaron is almost an adopted member of the group, and seems to be at their level now having experienced the introduction to Negan with them.

16. Heath

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In a better spot than most for being on the outside with Tara. However, he’s replacing Jack Bauer on 24. So how much longer will he be on the show?

17. Doctor Harlan

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Currently the most important person in Maggie and her unborn child’s life.

18. Gregory

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Speaking of 24 alums, you shouldn’t trust Gregory. But at least Gregory knows what it’s like living in the NWO. The bargaining chips may be pushed into his favor when Rick needs to deal with The Hilltop going forward.

19. Enid

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Enid is not going to take the news about Glenn very well, considering the family dynamic she built with him and Maggie. Enid is a survivor though, and seems to have committed to the Alexandrians’ effort to thrive. She won’t be too happy with Carl for locking her into a closet, but you can see them making a formidable team in the long-term.

20. Eugene

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I was so sure Eugene would be killed. He gave up his value by giving Rick the recipe for making bullets, which may still mean his time on The Walking Dead will be cut short. He was also the only one with his face in his hands for most of the episode. Eugene can either fold or step up into Abraham’s role. What do you think will happen?

21. Rosita

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Rosita is partially responsible for this mess, running out and looking for revenge with Daryl. We also know that she isn’t particularly independent (Abraham, Spencer, you get it). I can see her getting close to Negan, like Andrea had with The Governor. That could prove either useful for the group…or just for her.

22. Daryl Dixon

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Daryl was #1 on our list for much of last season’s rankings. Now he’s in the back of a van, and could put chopped into pieces. While the guilt of Glenn’s death may way heavily on him, Daryl always finds a way…

23. Tobin

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Did anyone see the Jack Reacher ads? Tobin was a crooked sherif getting busted by Tom Cruise. It was awesome. For now, he’s one of the few you trust to fall in with what Rick wants in Alexandria…and really misses Carol, I’m sure.

24. Baby Judith

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Being Rick’s baby girl carries more weight than most on this show. You’ve seen #RickRage before, right?

25. Spencer Monroe

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One of the show’s biggest wild cards. Will he hang tough with Rick or align with Negan?

26. Eric Raleigh

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I’m sorry but Eric’s gotta be in the running for people who don’t last much longer on this show. Aaron’s going to be happy to see him when he returns, but he’s not built for NWO.

27. Olivia

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Still counting jars.

28. Andy

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Have to think Negan will be looking for payback, as Andy did help lead the raid on the base last season…

29. Cal

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Remains the least threatening on this list with a spear.

30. Freddie

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Also not built for the NWO.

31. Craig

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Are you still alive, Craig?

 

Coming soon…Ezekiel and Shiva.

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Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.

 

<< Last season’s Power Rankings

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep10 “Fire and Winter Are Here”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

This was a perfect season to start doing Character Power Rankings for Game of Thrones. The very first ranking started with Sansa Stark leading the pack. We had as many as 75 characters to rank at one point, and nearly everyone’s status was volatile throughout the season.

‘The Battle of the Bastards’ was followed up with a near perfect finale, giving Thrones fans even more payoff than killing off Ramsay Bolton. Cersei went “Nuclear Michael Corleone” on her opposers in King’s Landing. Varys proved again why he’s a master college football recruiter. Arya sent her regards to the Freys. R + L = J was confirmed. Petyr Baelish gave “The King of the North” serious side-eyes. And Daenerys made her move on toward Westeros.

Before we get to the final rankings of Season 6…

A farewell to SEVERAL long-running characters (some good, some terrible)

Queen Margaery – Last Ranked 19th

High Sparrow – Last Ranked 18th

King Tommen – Last Ranked 33rd

Kevan Lannister – Last Ranked 34th

Walder Frey – Last Ranked 40th

Lothar Frey – Last Ranked 55th

Black Walder Rivers – Last Ranked 56th

Lancel Lannister – Last Ranked 62nd

Loras Tyrell – Last Ranked 65th

Mace Tyrell – Last Ranked 67th

Maester Pycelle – Last Ranked 68th (DEAD last all season)

While you read the S6 Ep10 Power Rankings, listen in to The Piffcast’s review/recap of the entire season.  

1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)

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Daenerys got a hold of our #1 ranking in Week 4 (ranked 22nd before then), after burning down the house (full of Khals), and never let go of it. She proved that she didn’t need her dragons to defeat her captors and recruited the entire Dothraki army in the process.

Almost every episode since then, Dany gave us a Tiger Woods fist-pump moment. She was reunited with Drogon. She wiped out the Masters fleet with all three dragons. She got her ships from Yara and Theon Greyjoy. And now she’s aligned with the Sand Snakes, Olenna Tyrell and their respective armies. Her dragons are also a potent weapon against the White Walkers, if they should meet in the near future.

Bow to your, Khaleesi.

2. Jon Snow (Previously 3rd)

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Jon knows as well as anyone that Sansa was why they defeated Ramsay and was more than willing to serve her as the Lady of Winterfell. However, it was the other lords of Northern houses who recognized that Jon was the man to unite them. The Free Folk warriors follow Jon because he saved them from Hardhome. Ser Davos is a believer in him, and in turn recruited Lyanna Mormont to rally the troops to follow Jon. Then we got the very emotional and powerful “King of The North” chant at Winterfell.

It’s also very likely that Daenerys will see Jon as the most worthy to wed her when she comes to Westeros, despite the likelihood that they are related (R + L = J).

3. Cersei Lannister (Previously 25th)

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Biggest power move of the finale, without a doubt, goes to Cersei Lannister. The entire open in King’s Landing wasn’t presented as a shock, but more a certainty that she would take her freedom and the crown back. Maester Pycelle being led to Qyburn’s lair, Lancel trapped with the Wildfire barrels, the High Sparrow staring blankly at Margaery as she knew she was beat…

It felt exactly like The Godfather, as Michael offed each of the conspiring mobsters against him. Consider Lancel as Mo Green in this scenario. Worth noting, though, is the irony of Cersei pushing Bran out a window to start the series and crippling him, but also pushing her last remaining son, Tommen, to jump out a window with her actions. And where does she get support from when EVERYONE outside of King’s Landing hates her? Euron?

4. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 4th)

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While it didn’t feel like he did much more than drink wine, nail some great one-liners and lose “lets make a deal” with the Masters, Tyrion established himself as potentially the 2nd most powerful person in the Seven Kingdoms. Tyrion applied his expertise in Westeros politics to bringing some peace and stability to Meereen, with diplomacy and propaganda. For a short time, it worked!

Despite his failure to maintain safety for Meereen, Daenerys trusts Tyrion the most and being named Hand of the King (after losing the title in King’s Landing to his father) was a huge moment for him. Expect him to use his diplomacy and past relationship with Sansa to help connect the two Houses.

5. Sansa Stark (Previously 2nd)

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Season 6 was Sansa’s Revenge Tour and it was wonderful. We saw he suffer so much for so long and it was amazing to see her get win after win after win…

While she does seem to understand that Jon isn’t the most savvy are capable of ruling, she does appear to respect and care for him. Having Littlefinger in her ear won’t make matters better though.

6. Arya Stark (Previously 17th)

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Arya went FULL Eric Cartman and Oswald Cobblepot (The Penguin) on Walder Frey and it was WONDERFUL. Having the ability of the Faceless-Men to disguise physical appearance and unreal assassin training makes Arya probably the most dangerous individual in Westeros. She’s on a pretty dark path and Cersei is left to go on her list…

Maybe a team-up with her siblings in Winterfell or reunion with the Hound will cool her down a little.

7. Varys (Previously 26th)

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In the Game of Varys vs. Littlefinger, it would appear Varys is winning. He made Daenerys’ forces even more fortified by adding the Martel and and Tyrell armies. His intentions have always been to do what’s best for the people of Westeros and being in the Mother of Dragons’ circle of trust is a good place to get that done.

Still curious how he’s able to teleport from Dorne to Dany’s side on a ship so quickly though (*cough* Thrones editors).

8. Jaime Lannister (Previously 6th)

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Jaime had one of the strongest arcs on the series, reclaiming both respect from others and himself. With his sister-lover on the Iron Throne, you can assume he takes the role as Hand of the Queen.

However he appears to be conflicted about it. Although he preached that Cersei would “burn down” everyone in her path, he had slain the Mad King for almost doing what she actually did. That will get awesomely awkward in S7.

9. Ser Davos (Previously 7th) 

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Ser Davos is the moral compass for the series, isn’t he? As he has pointed out time and time again, Davos came from nothing and has become righthand man to two different “Kings of the North”.

We saw Davos at his most vulnerable, as he pled the case to Jon not to trust Melisandre any longer. He was right too. Melisandre influenced Stannis and his wife to burn their innocent daughter alive for nothing. Davos was also ready to execute her and Jon showed some restraint by just banishing her. It was a situation that could have easily gone the other way, like Stannis would’ve done. It’s obvious that Jon trusts Davos though, as he should.

10. The Night King (Previously 8th)

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Inactivity for the past several episodes is why the Night King falls, but Jon is right…He brings the Winter and it is going to be here. How soon will the battle of the living and the dead happen though?

11. Bran Stark (Previously 12th)

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We have Bran to thank for finding out the truth about Jon and why Hodor became Hodor, but he will need to do more than information gathering to stop the White Walker army. The sky is the limit for the new Three-Eyed Raven and he seems to have accepted that.

12. Drogon/Rhaegal/Viserion (Previously 10th)

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Reunited and it feels so good…

Combined, we can now rope all three dragons together in the rankings, although Drogon is clearly the more developed of the trio. I don’t think Westeros is ready for this Jelly.

13. Petyr Baelish (Previously 5th)

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Ol’ Littlefinger got Friend-Zoned pretty hard by Sansa in Winterfell. It was also funny seeing him act all Billy Zabka leaning against the back wall while the other Lords chanted “King of the North”. His declaration of allegiance for House Stark with the Vale is crucial and it was apparent in the Battle of the Bastards. But we’ve always known that he wants to watch the world burn and he wants Sansa at his side while he does so.

14. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 13th)

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Yara is Daenerys’ new “Master of Ships” and has some serious support to take back the Iron Islands. Curious what her Uncle Euron will have to say and if he’ll team up with Cersei to maintain his rule.

15. The Mountain (Previously 16th)

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“This is your God now.”

Zombie Mountain is in his element now. Applying pain as he sees fit and carrying out the bloody will of Queen Cersei. He also has a helmet-less Darth Vader thing going when he takes his off.

16. Tormund (Previously 11th)

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The sooner the rest of the North gets onboard with Tormund and his Free Folk, the better. Meanwhile…

Tormund:Brienne Ship

Soon, Tormund. Soon.

17. Lyanna Mormont (Previously 30th)

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Breakout star of the season? Breakout star of he season. Her rally speech and shade throwing at Winterfell establishes Lady Mormont as a real player in the North.

18. Qyburn (Previously 30th)

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Did Varys ever use his “little birds” like Children of the Corn? I thought it was perfect that Qyburn orchestrated Pycelle’s death, “to usher in the new”. He REALLY played his cards right sticking with Cersei.

19. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 47th) 

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Loved Olenna handing out shots to each of the Sand Snakes in Dorne. She has an army and revenge in her heart. Thankfully Varys is there to give her some direction to avenge her grandchildren.

20. Ellaria Sand (Previously 50th)

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FINALLY! Haven’t seen her or the Snakes since the premiere. Fun to see the women of the Seven Kingdoms unite with a common goal of finishing off Cersei.

21. The Hound (Previously 15th)

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The Mountain may be happy bringing the pain to King’s Landing but The Hound is still free to do whatever he wants. Ser Beric and the Brotherhood appear to have given one of the most dangerous men in Westeros some purpose too.

22. Grey Worm (Previously 14th)

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The last couple episodes really showcased Grey Worm’s value as a commander and tactician. Looking forward to see how he leads Dany’s army, with Daario being left in Meereen.

23. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 22nd)

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Theon’s sad puppy-face look is patent pending and seems to have a ways to go before he feels fully redeemed for his past transgressions. Supporting his sister and hopefully helping Sansa’s forces eventually should show his value in Season 7.

24. Bronn (Previously 32nd)

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If Jaime were to ever get full of himself again, Bronn would be there to tear him back down. Nobody’s better at roasting the Kingslayer and getting away with it. Wonder what his role will be in the new Cersei regime, but she is going to need every sword she can get when Daenerys makes her move.

25. Beric Dondarrion (Previously 27th)

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For fans of the book, Ser Beric’s presence and Arya’s murder party seem to cool down any expectations for Lady Stoneheart. Nobody has accepted their “reanimation” blessing quite like he has either.

26. Thoros (Previously 28th)

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Most effective of all the Red Priests, and probably most trusted too.

27. Missandei (Previously 24th)

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What is Missandei’s role now going to Westeros? Learning more about her background and seeing her handle own with a knife was big in S6. Being at Daenerys’ side on the ship toward Westeros gives her more value than most too.

28. Brienne (Previously 23rd)

Brienne

Hey, so…Where’s Brienne? Last we saw, she was fleeing the Riverlands from the Lannister, Frey and Tully armies. Hopefully she’s on her way back to Winterfell but I think she may find Arya first. That would help a lot in the “oathkeeping” quest.

29. Edd (Previously 35th)

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Bran’s best chance to getting within the Wall may be going straight to Castle Black, where Lord Commander Edd will be waiting.

30. Tyene Sand (Previously 51st)

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Only Sand Snake to not get roasted by the Queen of Thorns. I’ve also maintained that she is the most dangerous of her sisters. Could we get a rematch between her and Bronn when #TeamDany makes their move on Westeros?

31. Ghost (Previously 29th)

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Ghost seems to have gotten a nice long break, but he’s finally home with Jon at Winterfell.

32. Jaqen H’ghar (Previously 38th)

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I just assume Jaqen is sitting back watching Arya, like all is going according to plan.

Mr. Burns

Yep, Jaqen is Mr. Burns.

33. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 38th)

Euron

So Euron’s chances of wooing Daenerys just went to shit, huh? The Sabretooth-Liev Schreiber lookalike may be looking to align with Cersei in order to keep the Iron Islands at this point. I get a feeling he has more than that up his sleeve…

34. Daario Naharis (Previously 21st)

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Now Daario knows what it’s like to be Ser Jorah…

35. Benjen Stark (Previously 20th)

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Anyone else a little disappointed they didn’t get to see more Benjen in action? We’ll have to wait for the wall to come down before that happens, but he’ll be a valuable weapon to have when it does.

36. Jorah Mormont (Previously 42nd)

Ser Jorah

Still think he’s heading to the Citadel…

37. Samwell Tarley (Previously 48th)

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…and will be teaming up with Samwell to get healed.

(PS. I wish someone would look at me the same way Sam looks at glorious libraries)

38. Meera Reed (Previously 45th)

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Hey Meera…How are you going to get Bran up the Wall? She’ll find a way. Definitely one of the bravest characters on the show to stick with Bran and protect him against Wights and White Walkers.

39. Wyman Manderly (Previously NR)

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Inspired by Lyanna’s speech, Wyman really get the “I’m Spartacus” chant going and it was epic.

40. Robett Glover (Previously 57th)

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Good for Robett, recognizing his mistake and asking for forgiveness. Also amazingly powerful in the “King of the North” scene.

41. Gilly (Previously 49th)

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I felt so bad when the Maester Librarian sassed Gilly, but it was pretty funny. It will be interesting to see how the Grand Maester receives her. Samwell has come this far with Gilly. Can’t see him giving up on her now.

42. Podrick Payne (Previously 46th)

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Pod’s learning some valuable combat lessons from Brienne. Hope to see him put those to use soon.

43. Nymeria Sand (Previously 52nd)

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“Do shut up, dear.” – 2nd best Olenna burn.

44. Obara Sand (Previously 53rd)

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“You look like an angry little boy.” – Absolute best Olenna burn.

45. Cley Cerwyn (Previously NR)

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Cley’s father was skinned by the Boltons and that kept him from supporting the Starks in the Battle of the Bastards. He was also pretty hesitant jumping on board at Winterfell, but that “King of the North” chant was pretty infectious.

46. Robin Arryn (Previously 36th)

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Does Robin even know his army left to fight for Sansa? Better question…Does he care?

47. Yohn Royce (Previously 37th)

Royce

Yohn Royce is going to get over his views on “Wildlings” if he wants to hang with Jon Snow.

48. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 54th)

Aeron

Yara and Theon have some uncles to kill, and Aeron counts as one of them.

49. Kinvara (Previously 43rd)

Kinvara

Kinvara’s introduction to Varys and Tyrion seemed much more important than her presence for the rest of the season. Her priestesses helped bring stability to Meereen and she’s very supportive of Daenerys. As the #1 Red Woman, she serves as some solid backup but will she get to showcase her talents in the near future?

50. Melisandre (Previously 44th)

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It’s tragic how much out of favor Melisandre fell from Jon, going from bringing him back to life to being banished. It was still a culmination and karma for the havoc she caused with Stannis, so don’t feel too bad. You can expect she’ll continue to help Jon from a distance, because she believes in him. She may be heading back to Kinvara now.

51. Melessa Tarly (Previously 58th)

Melessa

If only she could see Samwell in his new amazing library…

52. Randyll Tarly (Previously 59th)

Randyl

You get a feeling he would align with Cersei, if given the opportunity. He’s a jerk like that.

53. Talla Tarly (Previously 60th)

Talla

Your  weekly reminder that Talla was hushed when mentioning the guy she is set to marry…and that might matter.

54. Dickon Tarly (Previously 61st)

Dickon

#BroDickon is gonna #BroDickon.

55. Edmure Tully (Previously 41st)

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Just when things were looking better for Edmure, he got put back in a cage…Did Arya let him out?

56. Yezzan zo Qaggaz (Previously 64)

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The weekly Masters poker game is going to feel a little more lonely for this guy.

57. Septa Unella (Previously 63rd)

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CONGRATS, Unella! You are the new “Ms. Irrelevant”, after Maester Pycelle farted his last fart.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Checkout the Piffcast S6 Review Special and subscribe to the show on iTunes here!

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

S6 Ep. 9 – “Tell Your People What Happened Here”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep9 “Tell Your People What Happened Here”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

The penultimate episode of each Game of Thrones season is always one worth circling on your calendar. Ned’s death, Blackwater, The Red Wedding and “Watchers on the Wall” laid down the track record of anxiety inducing, reactionary video filming, edge-of-your-seat watching television.  “Battle of the Bastards” met the hype and was payoff for the longtime Game of Thrones fans who stayed loyal, after so many favorite characters were brutalized before their very eyes.

Two years ago, I went and saw “Watchers on The Wall” and “The Children” from Season 4 back-to-back in an IMAX movie theater. “Battle of The Bastards” should be getting similar treatment leading up to Season 7. How often did you catch yourself making involuntary noises from your couch? I cheered and screamed louder than I normally do watching my favorite football team play, it was that good.

Game of Thrones went Peter Jackson and maybe beyond with the quality of this battle.

Battle of the Bastards

…and we thank them for it.

This week’s Power Rankings are made in Loving Memory of Wun Wun.

 

1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)

Daenerys BOTB

“Dracarys” is the new Mortal Kombat-style “Fatality!”

I did not expect the resolution to the siege in Meereen to come so quickly, but I’m very glad it did. We’ve waited 6 years to see the damage that Dany’s dragons could inflict and there it was on full display. While she and her babies provided the death from above, her Khalasar took care of the ground game by cleaning the streets stained by the Sons of the Harpy.

I also did not expect her to be so civil with Tyrion after the Masters went back on his deal. A year ago, she likely would have given Tyrion the “Jorah Treatment” and shunned him. She’s obviously grown to the people around her and trusting Tyrion’s expertise helps way more than hurts. Oh, and she now has her ships…

2. Sansa Stark (Previously 6th)

Sansa BOTB

Sansa’s “slow-walk and smile” while Ramsay’s dogs gave him a taste of his own medicine was even better than Beyonce’s “Lemonade” special.

After years of abuse and torture, Sansa is now the true Warden of the North. In a season full of big wins, Sansa’s was the biggest. And although Jon led the charge and fought like hell to reach Ramsay, it was Sansa’s raven to Littlefinger that made it all possible.

3. Jon Snow (Previously 5th)

Jon Snow BOTB

Jon disregarded Sansa’s advice by chasing after Rickon. He went heart first into battle, clearly without the numbers, and almost fell into another Ramsay trap. Yet he still cut down everyone in his path, survived the most claustrophobic situations ever, and beat the living shit out of that bastard in his own home.

If Jon already had a reputation for being the best swordsman in the North, imagine what people think of him now. Where will he turn his attention to now? Uniting the North? The Freys in Riverrun? King’s Landing?…Most likely Winter.

4. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 20th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.23.39 PM

Tyrion inherited a pretty awful situation when Daenerys left, and he pointed out to her what all he accomplished while she was gone…as the city was burning. The fact Daenerys still recognized it and took Tyrion’s advice before unleashing Hell on the Masters places him on a higher pedestal than either his siblings back at King’s Landing. Neither of them were second in command to a Dragon Queen.

Also appreciated the extra sass he threw Theon’s way. That stuff doesn’t get old.

5. Petyr Baelish (Previously 15th)

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Twice now Petyr Baelish has bailed Sansa out and helped defeat her abusers. His plan seems to be back on track. It’s kinda scary to imagine what the endgame is and that might be Sansa’s next issue. For the time being though, he has the Starks’ strongest weapon.

6. Jaime Lannister (Previously 3rd)

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Jaime being cast out from King’s Landing might be the best thing for him. He has his army, and alliance with the Freys (whatever that’s worth) and Riverrun. Walder’s toast in the teaser “The Freys and Lannisters send their regards” may prove to be a kiss of death though…for both houses.

7. Ser Davos (Previously 7th)

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Davos held his own in the battle and survived. He even sent the cavalry after Jon as he charged the 6,000 man army by himself. After the win, Davos doesn’t appear to be in the celebrating mood. After finding Shireen’s toy that he made for her, he’s put together the pieces of what Melisandre did before reaching Castle Black. He’s been in the spot before, with Stannis. Will Jon and Sansa side with Davos or will history repeat itself.

8. The Night King (Previously 2nd)

Night's King

There is a full understanding of how powerful the Night King is. Lack of action lets him slide a little after a big episode for the good guys. I doubt he’ll be on the down low for long…

9. Drogon (Previously 17th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.01.52 PM

Even just seeing Drogon in the distance before he crashed the Masters’ insult party made me cheer like the Bears won the Super Bowl. His bond with Daenerys showed just how deadly they both can be…

10. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 25th)

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…and even deadlier with these two.

11. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 19th)

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It was amazing how Tormund and his people looked ridiculously close to their end with the Bolton spears pointed at them, and then he’s beating Lord Umber’s ear off and stabbing him in the face an instant later.

12. Bran Stark (Previously 8th)

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While it’s good to be a Stark (for once), Bran knows firsthand that there’s a lot of work to do. The sooner he fully understands his powers, the better…for everyone.

13. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 49th)

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The next biggest power move to Sansa and Jon taking Winterfell back was Yara and Theon somehow getting to Meereen before Euron…and with 100 ships?! Where did they get 100 ships?

Yara went from being an outcast to the Iron Islands to being teamed up with the most powerful person in the Seven Kingdoms. She also was not shy about hitting on the Mother of Dragons either, which was charming.

14. Grey Worm (Previously 28th)

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Sweet psych out, Grey Worm. Giving the Masters’ soldiers a choice to go home was a nice touch too.

15. The Hound (Previously Previously 10th)

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I don’t know what Ser Beric has in store for The Hound, but it will likely involve lots and lots of violence. He also appears to be the only person the undead Beric fears too.

16. The Mountain (Previously 11th)

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Cersei’s not going down without fight against The High Sparrow and her own son, the King. As far as we know, he’s her best shot and he’ll take anyone out who gets in her way.

17. Arya Stark (Previously 13th)

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Arya’s going to be in for a pleasant surprise when she returns to Westeros. She’ll be able to use her family’s name too, at least in the North. 2 questions though:

  1. Where in Westeros is she heading?
  2. Are the Faceless Men following?

18. The High Sparrow (Previously 4th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.55.03 PM

I’ve kept The High Sparrow pretty high for a while this season. With the Starks back in power, Jaime getting stronger/more defiant, Daenerys being on her way and Cersei putting the Targaryen Wildfire to use…his power looks less and less impressive.

19. Queen Margaery (Previously 9th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.37.23 AM

Margaery is playing the long game with the High Sparrow and Tommen, and she’s still loyal to her brother. When shit hits the fan in the finale, will she get out of Cersei’s way or burn with the rest?

20. Benjen Stark (Previously 12th)

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Benjen would proud of what Jon has accomplished, ya know…getting laid, coming back from the dead and ENDING the Boltons. But his attention and particular set of skills are being directed toward the impending White Walker invasion. Understandable.

21. Daario Naharis (Previously 24th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 11.59.20 AM

You have to love Daario leading the khalasar into Meereen, chopping off Harpy heads right and left. His efforts have mostly eliminated all the doubt I had of his allegiance. Judging by the teaser for the finale, Daenerys is going to let us know her thoughts on the matter too.

22. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 50th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.22.18 PM

Theon’s been a solid “campaign manager” for  Yara, helping her team-up with Daenerys. He may have an even more important role though. When Daenerys makes her move on Westeros, Theon could help the cause because of her relationship with Sansa. Tyrion’s kindness to Sansa in the past would go a long way, but Theon endured Ramsay too.

23. Brienne (Previously 22nd)

Brienne

Good for Brienne that the Blackfish situation didn’t make or break the Battle of the Bastards. The Starks need allies now though, so she might want to hurry back to Winterfell before things escalate again.

Wait, Tormund’s going to be waiting there…She can take her time.

24. Missandei (Previously 35th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.09.21 PM

Loved how Missandei stood silent while the Masters discussed their “terms” and they planned to sell her again. She sat there knowing exactly how it was all going to go down and got to deliver the news to them that one (really two) of them were going to die. Then walking past the surviving Master, like he was nothing, was more than perfect.

25. Cersei Lannister (Previously 21st)

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Hell is coming to breakfast in King’s Landing, and Cersei is cooking up a storm of Wildfire…I hope.

26. Varys (Previously 25th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 1.33.45 PM

I would like to see where Varys intended to go to find help for Dany’s cause. I’m hoping it’s Winterfell, which would make for a funny reunion with Littlefinger.

27. Beric Dondarrion (Previously 30th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.38.26 PM

I am really hoping Beric gives the Hound some work before the season is up. There are two people who get brought back to life (as far as we know) on this show. Beric is the one who seems to get that more than Jon.

28. Thoros of Myr (Previously 31st)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.45.43 PM

Of those capable of bringing people back to life, Thoros has the most practice…and he’s the least vague about his purpose too.

29. Ghost (Previously 33rd)

Ghost gif

I know a lot of people are upset that Ghost didn’t get to participate in the battle, but shouldn’t we just be glad he’s okay? It’s been a rough go for Direwolves this season and I do not think he would’ve faired well in real medieval battle.

30. Lyanna Mormont (Previously 36th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.11.37 PM

The “Lyanna’s Not Impressed” Meme definitely outdoes Obara Sand’s.

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 5.52.11 PM

31. Qyburn (Previously 42nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.06.41 PM

Qyburn is just so excited to bring chaos to King’s Landing. Let’s just hope he’s there when Maester Pycelle goes down with it.

32. Bronn (Previously 32nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 1.52.47 PM

Bronn’s on a pretty nice track right now, aligned with Jaime. I don’t think everyone’s particularly safe hanging with the Freys, but I trust him and Jaime to get out of most situations.

33. Tommen (Previously 26th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.04.51 PM

Tommen is king but he seems to have sealed his fate by turning on his mother. “The 7” can’t save you from a mother scorn.

34. Kevan Lannister (Previously 27th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.02.39 PM

What’s the average tenure for the Hand of the King on this show? Not particularly long, I don’t think…

35. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 45th)

Edd

Edd has gotta be so glad that Jon won at Winterfell. Otherwise he would have a much tougher time defending the Wall and dealing with Ramsay.

36. Robin Arryn (Previously 37th)

Robin

He didn’t seem to be present at Winterfell, alongside Littlefinger and Sansa, but his army did save the Starks from their doom.

37. Yohn Royce (Previously 39th)

Royce

Also wasn’t seen on screen, but he is the Lord Commander of the Vale horsemen who came charging in like the Riders of Rohan.

38. Jaqen H’ghar (Previously 46th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.54.41 PM

The more I think about how Arya left the temple of the Many-Faced God, I become more convinced that everything went according to plan for the STILL mysterious Jaqen. The Faceless Men want to influence Westeros and Arya appears to be their weapon for it.

39. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 23rd)

Euron

Seriously. You have the Iron Island fleet at your disposal and still couldn’t beat out your niece and nephew to Daenerys? Hard to believe that Euron will go down easily. Could be Big Bad in the next season.

40. Walder Frey (Previously 54th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.55.30 PM

Everything’s coming up Walder Frey these days, right? I have a feeling someone else will be sending “their regards” when all is said and done in the Season 6 finale.

41. Edmure Tully (Previously 29th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.17.57 PM

Edmure’s fortunes changed immensely after being let back into Riverrun. He is the Lord there, but how loyal are his men after he gave their castle up so easily?

42. Jorah Mormont (Previously 44th)

Ser Jorah

I will continue to beat on this drum until something else happens:

A Jorah – Samwell/Gilly team-up is coming. Hopefully sooner than later so Jorah can get cured.

43. Kinvara (Previously 43rd)

Kinvara

The High Priestess, who helped bring order back to Meereen, was MIA while it was being attacked. She believes in Daenerys and has seen visions of her rise to power. How much does Daenerys believe in her?

44. Melisandre (Previously 34th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.41.00 PM

Melisandre is about to face serious Davos shit-storm. We’ll find out how Jon handles the situation. He doesn’t appear as sold on “The Lord of Light” and destiny as Stannis was…even if it brought him back to life.

45. Meera (Previously 47th)

Meera

Hope Meera learns a thing or two from Benjen. He should know her father very well, who fought alongside Ned.

46. Podrick Payne (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 1.53.30 PM

After hearing Pod refer to his training from Brienne, and some sneaky pointers from Bronn, you wonder if he’ll be applying that training before the season is over.

47. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 55th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.44.18 AM

Olenna knows that both Margaery and Cersei each have something planned when the trial happens. If she hasn’t left King’s Landing, it would be beneficial for her to play mediator to help them both. I don’t think she really cares what happens to Cersei though.

48. Samwell Tarly (Previously 51st)

Samwell 1.25.56 PM

Samwell sword action needs to happen this week.

49. Gilly (Previously 52nd)

Gilly

I hope Gilly kept this dress.

50. Ellaria Sand (Previously 60th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.30.59 AM

The Sand Snakes helped start the season…

51. Tyene Sand (Previously 61st)

Tyene

…will they help close it?

52. Nymeria Sand (Previously 62nd)

Nymera

Will I ever get to update this photo?

53. Obara Sand (Previously 63rd)

Obara

I’m never updating this one.

 

54. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 56th)

Aeron

Yara said she had some uncles to kill and Daenerys will happily oblige. That doesn’t bode well for Aeron.

55. Lothar Frey (Previously 58th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.49.34 AM

If the Frey party gets crashed, Lothar is surely going to die.

56. Walder Rivers (Previously 59th)

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Walder will die first though, and Jaime may be the one to end him…just because.

57. Robett Glover (Previously 53rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.11.16 AM

So Robett…the Starks you turned your back on just won the Bastard Bowl. They are also the Wardens of your territory now.

This must be awkward.

58. Melessa Tarly (Previously 65th)

Melessa

We all know who wears the pants in the Tarly household…

59. Randyll Tarly (Previously 66th)

Randyl

…but I’m pretty sure Randyll sent a search party for Samwell.

60. Talla Tarly (Previously 67th)

Talla

Your  weekly reminder that Talla was hushed when mentioning the guy she is set to marry…and that might matter.

61. Dickon Tarly (Previously 68th)

Dickon

#BroDickon is gonna #BroDickon.

62. Lancel Lannister (Previously 69th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 1.48.43 PM

This might be my third time predicting that Lancel is about to die. Third time’s a charm, right?

63. Septa Unella (Previously 64th)

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In a perfect world, both Margaery and Cersei get to beat the Septa down in the worst way possible.

64. Yezzan zo Qaggaz (Previously NR)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.48.45 PM

“Tell your people what happened here.”

The fact Yezzan didn’t sellout one of his fellow Masters like they did to him is probably why he isn’t dead.

65. Ser Loras (Previously 71st)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.18.02 AM

#ThoughtsAndPrayers for Lancel.

66. Harald Karstark (Previously 41st)

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We didn’t see Harald die in battle, right? If he didn’t die, he shouldn’t be doing to well in Stark captivity.

67. Mace Tyrell (Previously 72nd)

Mace

Still supremely useless.

68. Maester Pycelle (Previously 73rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.02.04 PM

Hopefully he farts for the last time in the season finale.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. We’ll be doing a Season Recap the day after the finale!

 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep7 “There Will Be Blood”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

When Game of Thrones elects to start an episode with a cold open, rather than their heart pumping theme, there’s usually a good reason for it. I’ve personally used my puppy emoji in texts and tweets way more than I had before thanks to the open. Unfortunately we had a short-lived experience with one HBO’s all-time great alums…

McShane of Thrones

This will not be the last we see of Ian McShane as he will be starring in Neil Gaiman’s American Gods coming to STARZ in 2017. If you love Thrones, I recommend giving Gaiman’s book a read and preparing for what should be an awesome TV adaptation. McShane will play Mr. Wednesday, and he may be the best actor for it.

But that’s not why you called…

#CleganeBowl is back on. Arya needs to get out of Braavos. Yara gets some. The Queen of Thorns throws serious shade. Jon and Sansa are on the recruiting trail. Oh, and Brynden Tully has zero Fucks to give. Also, FINALLY…A CASTLE WITH A MOAT!

1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)

Daenerys #1.gif

Daenerys Stormborn remains Queen of the Rankings, even without an appearance this week. Daenerys’ reputation is growing rapidly, as we see Yara and Theon banking their futures on aligning with her to take back the Iron Isles. We know that she and her dragons are key to defeating “Winter”, that the high Red priestess believes has foreseen her rule, and her army is only growing. Which Greyjoy tandem will she choose to get her ships though…Euron & Aeron or Yara & Theon?

2. The Night King (Previously 2nd)

Night's King

The Night King is only referenced in the episode, but he is part of the compelling argument that Davos makes at House Mormont. Davos fully understands that it’s all of humanity vs. The Night King, and that’s why we hold him in lofty regard.

3. Bran Stark (Previously 3rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 9.43.56 AM

Bran’s understanding of his powers is just getting stronger and Benjen is there to remind him how important that is.

4. Ser Davos (Previously 13th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.03.25 AM

Davos reminded us again how excellent a recruiter he is. When neither Jon or Sansa could convince Lady Mormont why she should put her people’s lives on the line for them, Davos did he his classic relatable thing and won her over. Despite snide remarks and glares from Sansa, she and Jon are much better off with his advisement than without it.

5. High Sparrow (Previously 6th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.32.57 AM

The High Sparrow is certainly in the catbird seat. He is the puppet master and Tommen is his, well…ya know, which makes him the most powerful man in King’s Landing. Pressuring Margaery to give Tommen an heir and threatening her grandmother though? We saw her pass the note to Olenna, and he seems to be underestimating Cersei. I don’t think he’ll be sitting pretty for very long.

6. Queen Margaery (Previously 8th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.37.23 AM

The circumstances are not ideal but Margaery is queen. She may have the Septa lurking over her shoulder and appears to have bought in to the High Sparrow’s ways, but I think she is much more cunning than that. I also don’t believe she has totally sold out her brother like she says she has.

7. Brynden Tully (Previously 10th)

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The Blackfish is the most important variable to Sansa and Jon’s fight against Ramsay. If he can somehow het past the Lannister and Frey forces, there is hope for the Starks to have a formidable army. His willingness to let Edmure die in order to keep Riverrun and to stand with his back to Jaime (who stabbed his king in the back) shows how tough and arrogant this S.O.B. really is.

8. Jon Snow (Previously 5th)

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Jon finally seemed back to rallying form when he spoke with the Free Folk. He was humble yet forceful and convincing when speaking to their leaders about fighting with him, which is what we’ve come to love about Jon. He was knocked back a bit after a tough grilling from young Lady Mormont and a full out rejection from House Glover. However, he is exactly why the Starks have the bulk of their army and he’s ready to take them into battle as soon as possible to get Rickon back.

9. Sansa Stark (Previously 4th)

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This wasn’t a great episode for Sansa. When trying to remind Northerners of how she was treated and their allegiances to House Stark, the response was not subtle. Both Mormont and Glover suffered when serving her brother Rob, so her assertiveness was not greeted too kindly. The sass she gave Jon over having Davos as an advisor and scoffing at their forces was not a great look either. One can assume though that the letter she is writing will be going to Petyr Baelish…who has Vale forces ready to assist.

10. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 7th)

Tyrion

Based on the next episode’s description, we’re going to find out how well his propaganda experiment went. It was a well-thought out and calculated move to gain the trust of Meereen, after dealing with Slavers. Hopefully the philosophy doesn’t clash with Daenerys’ wishes, but at least he has her two other dragons on his side…

11. Cersei Lannister (Previously 9th)

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As Olenna pointed out, Cersei is missing a lot of backup. She does have her Zombie Mountain, Qyburn and a Trial by Combat coming. I would also think that she and Queen Margaery have a common interest, or more of an “enemy of my enemy” type bond. I don’t doubt her success in the Trial and I think she’ll be getting the blood she’s wanted all season long.

12. Benjen Stark (Previously 11th)

Benjen

Benjen is now the key to Bran realizing his full potential. Hopefully Jon gets to see him too.

13. Brienne (Previously 12th)

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If House Tully is going to make it to help Sansa and Jon, Brienne has reach Brynden before Jaime does with a sword. Brynden knows Brienne from her service to Catelyn, and Jaime knows her well too. We see the Blackfish pull out his sword in her presence and Jaime does a lot of shouting in the teaser. Maybe she brings the two to an understanding, as Jaime did promise Sansa would be safe to Brynden’s niece…?

14. Petyr Baelish (Previously 14th)

Petyr Baelish

Based on the assumption that the raven Sansa is sending was intended for Littlefinger, the Vale increases her and Jon’s odds immensely. Petyr Baelish is full of surprises though. How do we know he won’t flip flop sides on her…again?

15. Jaime Lannister (Previously 19th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.09.12 AM

The backhand Jaime gave to Walder Rivers would make Djokovic proud. Like Cersei, Jaime is looking for blood but I don’t know if he really wants to do it on behalf of the Freys. He clearly doesn’t respect them, and he’s even less inlined to serve either Tommen or The High Sparrow.

Something that has always struck me about Jaime though, despite his incest issues, is how important honor is to him. With Brynden out in the open and having his back turned, Jaime could’ve ended the whole dispute with a quick pull of his sword. Nope. That’s not how Jaime rolls.

16. Varys (Previously 16th)

Varys

Since we last saw Varys, he was getting burned bad by Kinvara. At this point, he’s still Tyrion’s most trusted advisor in a city they rule and he knows more about everything than anyone else. Will Kinvara keep terrorizing him though? She seems to know a bit too much about him.

17. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 17th)

Euron

Euron has a leg up on Yara and Theon getting to Daenerys. He obviously knows her reputation better from his travels and he is the one with access to building ships since he wears the crown. He has a Ramsay-esque screw loose and arrogance too that might not go over well with the Mother of Dragons.

18. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 18th)

Ramsay

This is a nice streak of Ramsay-less episodes.

19. Tormund (Previously 22nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.41.58 AM.png

I can’t wait to see Tormund back in battle. I don’t understand the”Southerner” prejudice toward him and his people. They’re too respectful to hate. He did some nice rallying for Jon too with the other Free Folk leaders.

20. Zombie Mountain (Previously 11th)

Zombie Mountain

Mountain…Smash! From what we see in the teaser, THAT’s finally coming.

21. Sandor Clegane (Previously NR)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.29.50 AM

Welcome back, Sandor Clegane!

I feel much better about predicting his return for the last few weeks. Here we find The Hound trying to be civilized and peaceful. How can’t you be with Ian McShane? Then after he felt sort of at home and helpful, some jerks kill his new friends and he’s out looking for blood.

There have been predictions that #CleganeBowl, the battle of the brothers, will be Cersei’s Trial by Combat. I think he has other unfinished business to take care of first, regarding the Brothers Without Banners who slaughtered his community, and the Trial is coming too soon for him to be making an appearance in King’s Landing.

22. Kinvara (Previously 24th)

Kinvara

Meereen’s Secretary of Propaganda is going to show us her stuff this coming week and I’m only curious how Daenerys feels about someone manipulating her people. We do know she’s very powerful though, considering she’s #1 on the Red Woman depth chart.

23. Drogon (Previously 20th)

Drogon S6

Death from above.

24. Wun Wun (Previously 31)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.40.27 AM

“Snow.”

He speaks! What would have his colleagues have done if he didn’t agree to help Jon though?

25. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 30th)

Rhaegal Viserion

Pumped for the family reunion.

26. Daario Naharis (Previously 27th)

Daario

I assume Daario will rank pretty high in Daenerys’ army when they return to Meereen. He’s really going to hate Euron though.

27. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 26th)

Tommen

Who is Tommen rooting for in the Trial by Combat? If his balls would drop, there wouldn’t even be one.

28. Jorah Mormont (Previously 25th)

Ser Jorah

After seeing more House Mormont, I would love to see Jorah get back home to help their cause. He seems a bit far away though and I’ll maintain that he’s going to be crossing paths with the Maesters at the Citadel to cure his greyscale.

29. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 29th)

Edd

If Bran’s coming to the Wall, he’s going to want Commander Edd’s help…who has also seen the White Walkers in action.

30. Melisandre (Previously 23rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 9.58.44 AM

Melisandre has been in multiple episodes in a row now with zero impact since bringing Jon back to life. Whenever she’s ready to do something cool again, I’ll be waiting.

31. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 36th)

Jaqen 2.34.02 PM

What’s Jaqen’s plan for Waif, since she didn’t kill Arya quickly like he ordered? There is a theory that Waif is basically a figment of Arya’s imagination. If that’s true, then Jaqen’s powers are crazier than even I thought.

32. Bronn (Previously 33rd) 

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.46.48 AM

“A Lannister always pays his…”

“Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it!”

Missed you, Bronn.

33. Ghost (Previously 32nd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.34.24 AM

If Ramsay dies, I want Ghost to at least get a bite of him.

34. Lyanna Mormont (Newbie)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.03.44 AM

Who didn’t love this “talk to the hand” moment? She may have just 62 fighters, but Lyanna is more assertive and mature than any of the characters we’ve seen at her age. She also comes off as a responsible leader with her people in mind first. Davos made the best argument of all to recruit her as well, “the living vs the dead”.

35. Missandei (Previously 38th)

Missandei

Daenerys’ circle of trust is going to be pretty crowded when she gets back.

36. Grey Worm (Previously 39th)

Grey Worm

Grey Worm has some rage to unleash. Have not seen him swing his spear yet all season.

37. Ollenna Tyrell (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.44.18 AM

At least Olenna is finding joy in something, even if it’s Cersei’s failures. I don’t think she’s leaving King’s Landing quite yet without Cersei’s help.

38. Robin Arryn (Previously 52nd)

Robin

If Sansa is writing for Littlefinger’s help, then that makes Robin Arryn and his moon roof relevant again.

39. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 41)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.14.45 AM

Good for you, Yara. Happy she’s able to have “love” for a short bit before going on a mission that could get her killed. Maybe don’t tell the person who has your back the most to kill himself though…

40. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 42nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.12.43 AM

One question: If Theon is missing his manhood, where does all the ale he’s chugging go? Oh wait…grosssssss

41. Dim Dalba (Newbie)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.41.01 AM

I had no idea how tall this guy was until he walked up to brace forearms with Jon.

42. Meera (Previously 35th)

Meera

Being on Team Bran isn’t the safest, but it might be the most important place to be.

43. Samwell Tarly (Previously 52nd)

Samwell 1.25.56 PM

How soon will Sam put his family’s sword to use?

44. Gilly (Previously 37th)

Gilly

Does Gilly just keep wearing the dress wherever she goes and does Talla want it back?

45. Podrick (Previously 40th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.06.06 AM

I know Podrick-Bronn is the reunion we’ve all been waiting for.

46. Arya Stark (Previously 28th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.21.35 AM

GET OUT OF BRAAVOS ALREADY!

47. Waif (Previously 58th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.20.35 AM

Waif is totally going to regret not killing Arya when she had the chance. If she’s a Fight Club/Mr. Robot ripoff though, I’ll be pretty disappointed.

48. Septa Unella (Previously 62nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.34.54 AM

Septa moves up for still having some authority over Margaery, but I share Olenna Tyrell’s sentiments.

49. Yohn Royce (Previously 53rd)

Royce

If Petyr is coming to save the day for the Starks, Royce has his chance to redeem himself for selling Sansa out.

50. Qyburn (Previously 47th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.07.49 AM

Besides prepping The Mountain, Qyburn also gathers intel and should have some tricks up his sleeve when things get hairy for Cersei in King’s Landing.

51. Robett Glover (Newbie)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.11.16 AM

While I can’t condone his bigotry toward the Free Folk, he makes good points not wanting to jump into battle with Jon and Sansa. He saw this movie before with Rob, and he won’t put his people in danger without better odds.

52. Ellaria Sand (Previously 43rd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.30.59 AM

So we just gave up on the Sands entirely after the premiere, huh?

53. Tyene Sand (Previously 44th)

Tyene

I mean…

54. Nymeria Sand (Previously 45th)

Nymera

…what was the point of killing the Martels then?

55. Obara Sand (Previously 46th)

Obara

Seriously.

56. Lem Lemoncloak (Newbie) 

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.31.32 AM

Representing Brothers without Banners, the dude in the putrid colored cloak led a raid to kill a whole bunch of innocent and defenseless people. However, this may open the door to the return of ANOTHER character that we thought was dead…

That’s all I’ll say.

57. Melessa Tarly (Previously 49th)

Melessa

Melessa may be the last line of defense between Randyll and her son. Not sure how sympathetic she is after he left without saying bye though…

Kidding, she seems compassionate.

58. Randyll Tarly (Previously 50th)

Randyl

He’s, um, pleasent.

59. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 54th)

Aeron

How pruney are this guy’s fingers and feet after being in water so much?

60. Walder Frey (Previously 51)

Walder Frey

Creepy ass old man, whose sons can’t even conduct a proper siege.

61. Rickon Stark (Previously 57th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.13.17 AM

Anyone else worried that Rickon isn’t okay?

62. Smalljon Umber (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.14.11 AM

Is Smalljon code for something?

63. Harald Karstark (Previously 56th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.15.07 AM

…still wonder if the Karstarks flip, like Sansa suggested.

64. Lancel Lannister (Previously 63rd)

Lancel

 He leads the evil agents of the faith, but he’s going to be praying to anyone else who will listen when the Mountain gets to him.

65. Talla Tarly (Previously 59th)

Talla

Going to make this a weekly reminder that Talla was hushed when mentioning the guy she is set to marry…and that might matter.

66. Dickon Tarly (Previously 60th)

Dickon

Unfortunate name, bro.

67. Zanrush (Previously 61st)

Zanrush

This man has seen some things.

68. Lady Crane (Previously 64th)

Lady Crane

Ive cut out the rest of her acting group, but the hit on Lady Crane affected Arya enough to go rogue…

69. Walder Rivers (Previously 65th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.50.51 AM

How does the back of Jaime’s hand taste?

70. Lothar Frey (Previously 66th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.49.34 AM

The less assertive of the Frey douches.

71. Lhazareen (Previously 67th)

Lhazareen

Wonder how she’ll feel about Meereen.

72. Ser Loras (Previously 71)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.18.02 AM

Everybody but Cersei and Olenna has abandoned him…Maybe Margaery hasn’t either.

73. Edmure Tully (Previously 70th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.55.03 AM

Edmure, on the otherhand, was totally bailed on by Brynden. Sorry, dude. At least Jaime is getting him bathed and fed.

74. Mace Tyrell (Previously 72nd)

Mace

Still worthless.

75. Maester Pycelle (Previously 73rd)

Pycelle

Why is he still here? Seriously.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep6 “The Ties That Bind”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

I’ll be honest, I wanted more blood from this episode. While the Stark children are making big waves around the Seven Kingdoms, the Lannister siblings seemed poised to finally get some revenge on the High Sparrow. Even Margaery seemed happy to see Jaime about to charge the temple with Tyrell soldiers, and then Tommen threw one of the biggest of c-blocks you could imagine. While the people of King’s Landing were cheering, nobody at home was.

Meanwhile…

Bran got a big save, Arya said “F that noise”, Samwell had a horrible homecoming, a few old faces made themselves relevant again, and Daenerys looks more empowered than ever.

There were more additions than subtractions to the already 60+ Power Rankings, so try to keep up!

1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)

Daenerys

Hard to dethrone Khaleesi when she’s only getting stronger and more empowered. She’s now determined to get her ships to move toward Westeros (which Euron can provide). As I suspected last week, she was also reunited with her strongest dragon. Add Drogon to her arsenal that includes 2 other dragons, her Khalasar, Unsullied, Second Sons, and more freemen.

Daario makes a great point too. Unlike the Baratheons and her own ancestors, Daenerys wasn’t made to sit on a throne. She’s a conquerer. The episode ends with another heart pumping speech to serve as further proof of that.

2. Night’s King (Previously 2nd)

Night's King

Even after Hodor held the door, Meera and Bran didn’t seem to get too far. With a mark on Bran, the Night’s King can always track him. He also has a nearly invincible and ever-growing undead army…I say “nearly” because we know several different ways that White Walkers and Wights can be defeated, including dragon glass, Valerian Steel and fire.

So anyone with dragons and Valerian swords have serious upgrades in value when Winter finally comes.

3. Bran Stark (Previously 4th)

Bran

I chose this still because, come on…Bran’s drinking rabbit blood and not flinching over it.

Bran is down Hodor, Children, and his direwolf but has gained his Uncle Benjen and assumed the role of Three-Eyed Raven. After what appears to be some intense Binge Watching of “Game of Thrones” (history), Bran now knows almost everything he needs to and needs to work on controlling his powers. If Benjen is right, Bran is going to be the most important line of defense against the Night’s King.

4. Sansa Stark (Previously 3rd)

Sansa

Sansa is now in full army building mode and has some excellent recruiters out making the calls for her. With Brienne going to see the Blackfish, Littlefinger (and the Vail) clearly infatuated with her, plus Davos, Jon and Melisandre recruiting the rest of the North, Sansa’s name and story are the clear rallying point for everyone to unite against Ramsay Bolton.

5. Jon Snow (Previously 5th)

Jon

#BroodingJon has the allegiance of Castle Black, the Wildlings and Sansa. He is also being supported by Stannis’s top 2 advisors, Davos and Melisandre. The whole “half-brother” thing still makes his relationship with Sansa feel a little less like a partnership, but it still should be.

6. High Sparrow (Previously 12th)

High Sparrow

Biggest power move of the episode was Tommen’s alignment with the High Sparrow. Given Tommen’s naivety and total lack of assertiveness, the High Sparrow has taken the reigns pulling the strings of the king and also has the obvious approval of the people. I’m still not sure what the people love about the Sparrows, but that situation does serve as an example for how powerful religious propaganda can be in this world…especially for Tyrion in Meereen.

7. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 7th)

Tyrion

For now, Tyrion has made all the right moves to keep Meereen standing in Daenerys’s absence. There are still detractors, and some suspicious within his own council (Missandei and Grey Worm) but enlisting Kinvara to smooth over the tension with the Meereen freemen should help. The sooner Daenerys gets home, the better.

8. Queen Margaery (Previously 30th)

Margaery

I think we know that Tommen doesn’t make the alliance with the High Sparrow if Margaery doesn’t tell him to. The move doesn’t go over well for her father, grandmother or mother-in-law, but it certainly helps her avoid atonement and reasserts her power with Tommen and the people of King’s Landing. Based on what she told Tommen, I don’t think the situation bodes well for Loras at all.

9. Cersei Lannister (Previously 6th)

Cersei

Cersei has this unreal ability to look in control when things crumble around her. She calms down Jaime, although I would’ve loved to see him go all Tombstone Wyatt Earp on the Sparrows, and seems to be very confident in her Trial by Combat odds. The “Us against the World” mantra she has with Jaime certainly suggests she doesn’t care what happens if Tommen gets in her way either.

10. Brynden Tully (Previously NR)

Blackfish

All of a sudden, “The Blackfish” has become the hottest name in 3 different houses. The Starks, Lannisters and Freys are all concerned with his allegiance and his influence in the North. Walder Frey wants the Riverlands, which Brynden has control of. Sansa and Jon are family and need him when raising their army against Ramsay. Then there’s Jaime, who is being sent on an errand to make sure he does what the Freys say.

11. Benjen Stark (Previously NR)

Benjen

Game of Thrones has been very good this season about starting episodes off with something big. This time, Benjen saved the day with some impressive firepower and skills to clear out a Wight attack on Bran. As he tells it, Benjen is a product of the Children trying to right their wrong of creating White Walkers. He was saved the same way they were made, and seems to have developed some of the same fireball throwing skills as the Children. There’s a lot he can teach Bran and Meera too, while also protecting them.

12. Brienne (Previously 15th)

Brienne

Also heading to the Riverlands, besides Jaime and the Freys, is Brienne and the Starks’ chances of winning this war ride on her convincing Tully to help them out. Brienne has Jaime’s respect and his sword, Oathkeeper.

13. Ser Davos (Previously 8th)

Davos

As we’ve seen in the past with his pirate friends, Davos is an expert recruiter. Brienne and maybe Sansa may have their doubts about him, but there’s nothing we’ve seen to suggest Davos would turn on the Starks. Davos also seems to have a clear understanding of the real threat to humanity (the White Walkers) and that’s strong enough motivation for him to help unite the North.

14. Kevan Lannister (Previously 31st)

Kevan

Well, at least one Lannister is getting his way…Kevan seems to have drawn a clear line between he and his niece and nephew. He also likely had a good feeling his son, Lancel, wasn’t going to come out of Tyrell-Sparrow battle alive. As of now, The Sparrow is in Tommen’s head and Kevan is carrying out their orders.

15. Petyr Baelish (Previously 19th)

Petyr Baelish

As #TeamStark and #TeamRamsay compete in the arms race for the North, Littlefinger is still the wild card with the Vail’s army. I still have a hard time seeing him go against Sansa though.

16. Varys (Previously 20th)

Varys

Varys sassiness forever. Like Tyrion, he can’t wait for Daenerys to get home. When she returns to Meereen, we’ll have a better idea of what his role in her leadership will be. If Varys is as trusted as he hopes he is, he could reassert himself as winning the “central intelligence” battle with Baelish.

17. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 18th)

Euron

Daenerys wants boats? Euron’s got boats.

18. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 17th)

Ramsay

Another Ramsay-less episode! Woo!

19. Jaime Lannister (Previously 8th)

Jaime

Jaime takes a tumble for losing his standing with Tommen and title as Lord Commander. That doesn’t seem to deter him from wanting to lead the Lannister army, and ironically his interests may align with those he was originally at war with…Ramsay cut ties with the Lannisters by taking Sansa as his wife to make a move on the North. Why should he care if the Blackfish takes sides against the Freys and Boltons then?

His concern is making Dorne and the High Sparrow pay, so readying the soldiers he has wearing his family’s emblem to take them down seem to be the best course now. I also see Brienne playing a role with what goes down at the Riverlands as well.

20. Drogon (Previously 40th)

Drogon

He’s baaaaaaaack…Don’t you love the attention to detail Game of Thrones pays to dragon anatomy too?

21. Zombie Mountain (Previously 11th)

Zombie Mountain

#UnleashTheMountain already!

Sidenote: How crazy would it be if the High Sparrow had The Hound all rehabilitated and ready to use in the Trial by Combat?

22. Tormund (Previously 16th)

Tormund

In the arms race for taking the North, Tormund has to convince his own people to follow Jon into battle and I think it’s clear he will.

23. Melisandre (Previously 14th)

Melisandre

Melisandre’s been quiet since bringing Jon back to life, but she is dedicated to helping him take Winterfell back. When recruiting goes down with the other Northern houses, you could imagine her sorcery and talents for persuasion will help in the effort.

24. Kinvara (Previously 21st)

Kinvara

We still don’t know the extent of Kinvara’s powers but we know they are very significant to what happens next. Until we see her and her priestesses in action, she’s going to tentatively hangout behind Melisandre in the rankings. If the Sparrow can get the people of King’s Landing and the King of Westeros to follow him based on religion, what will Kinvara be able to accomplish in Meereen with Daenerys?

25. Ser Jorah (Previously 9th)

Ser Jorah

I still feel very strong about Jorah going to the Citadel to get cured and a possible team-up with Samwell. That’s all speculation, but at least we know how motivated he is to get better now.

26. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 26th)

Tommen

Dance, Puppet King. Dance.

27. Daario Naharis (Previously 24th)

Daario

Mine suspicions that Daario helped the Sons of the Harpy organize against Daenerys (for the right price) remain, but he seems to get why she is so powerful. He’s also her second in command, at least until she reaches Meereen. If he’s smart, he stays on the winning side here. I think he’s incredibly smart, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

28. Arya Stark (Previously 34th)

Arya

I’m just so happy Arya is done fighting with sticks…and that she has Needle back. Being at odds with Jaqen and Waif may not be ideal, but at least she made a decision for the kind of person she wants to be. She saw no good reason to kill Lady Crane, so she prevented it from happening. She may be on her own again, but she’s more dangerous now after her training.

29. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 25th)

Edd

If Bran has to face the Night’s King at the wall, Lord Commander Edd will likely be there to help.

30. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 27th)

Rhaegal and Viserion

Daenerys seems to share a strong bond with Drogon than she does her other two dragons, and she isn’t as in control of Rhaegal and Viserion after chaining them. Good thing Tyrion found a connection with them…

31. Wun Wun (Previously 23rd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-24 at 1.48.58 PM

As it stands, Wun Wun is the biggest weapon in the Stark army.

32. Ghost (Previously 28th)

Ghost

Wun Wun may be the biggest, but Ghost could very well be the deadliest. He also has some siblings to get some revenge for.

33. Bronn (Previously 54th)

Bronn

WE FOUND BRONN! At least we did in the teaser for next week’s episode…Bronn has proven to be the most useful weapon for both Lannister brother and that should remain true after Jaime gives him “the biggest bag of gold” ever. Jaime seems intent on putting a dangerous group of assassins around him and Cersei to get their revenge, and apparently Bronn knows some.

34. Samwell Tarly (Previously 52nd)

Samwell 1.25.56 PM

This was a huge episode for Sam. He went home, hoping Gilly and baby Samwell would be safe. He took a verbal beating from his father, was practically disowned, and then figured out that neither would probably be as safe as promised. The best thing he could do was bring the ones he loved with him and keep them safe by taking Heartsbane with them. Again, anyone with Valerian swords or dragons are better off than those without them.

35. Meera (Previously 29th)

Meera

Meera joins an elite group of White Walker killers that includes Jon Snow…and Samwell Tarly. I’m still very confident that some Reed history will repeat itself and she will help Bran like her father helped Ned.

36. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 22nd)

Jaqen

Jaqen’s mysteriousness is wearing thin. Sending Waif after Arya either seems lazy or like another test for his once-blind pupil.

37. Gilly (Previously 51st)

Gilly

Hey Gilly, hey….!!!

Her outburst on Sam’s father was awesome and probably the catalyst for him to rebel against him. You have to love her honesty and also her love for Sam.

38. Missandei (Previously 32nd)

Missandei

Missandei’s gotta love how big Daenerys’s leadership circle is getting…not.

39. Grey Worm (Previously 33rd)

Grey Worm

Where Missandei goes, so does Grey Worm.

40. Podrick (Previously 38th)

Podrick

Something big is about to go down at the Riverlands and Pod has a front row seat. Hopefully he does something else awesome to surprise us.

41. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 35th)

Yara

#TeamGreyjoy is in recovery mode. You would think they will be running into another one of our favorite characters while they do.

42. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 36th)

Theon

Theon seems to know his way around Westeros and the other houses better than Yara, but for now he serves her. Still extremely useful for their comeback though.

43. Ellaria Sand (Previously 41st)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.30.59 AM

Call me when Dorne is relevant again.

44. Tyene Sand (Previously 42nd)

Tyene

Like…

45. Nymeria Sand (Previously 43rd)

Nymera

…I…

46. Obara Sand (Previously 44th)

Obara

…said.

47. Qyburn (Previously 37th)

Qyburn

Qyburn’s focus is usually where Cersei’s is. Right now, that’s preparing The Mountain for her Trial by Combat coming soon.

 

48. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 10th)

Onella

Big fall for the Queen of Thorns. Her army was basically rendered useless at the steps of the High Sparrow Temple. Her own granddaughter helped make that happen. Now all she can do is sit and shame Cersei (from what we see in the preview for next episode). I don’t think she’s totally done yet though, but I don’t know what she can do until Cersei’s trial.

49. Melessa Tarly (Newbie)

Melessa

Melessa was really sweet when welcoming Sam and Gilly to the Tarly home. She also seems to have some major influence over Randyll, as she went into his decision to keep Gilly and baby Samwell there. I’m not so sure if she’ll be as understanding of Samwell taking them all, and the sword, with him though.

50. Randyll Tarly (Newbie)

Randyl

Well, he seems pleasant…

Randyll was definitely as awful as Samwell had advertised. He also has some Yul Brynner (The King and I) to him. With Heartsbane missing, his backwards-ass ways don’t stand a chance against White Walkers and he will also likely be looking to get it back from his now disowned son.

51. Walder Frey (Previousy NR) 

Walder Frey

Walder’s creepy old and murderous ass is still kicking, apparently. Like he said, House Frey is the laughing stock among all of Westeros. Frey also can’t be held in favor with anyone who pledged their allegiance to Rob Stark either. He has one ace in the hole, Edmure Tully, but will that be enough to sway The Blackfish?

52. Robin Arryn (Previously 45th)

Robin

Just waiting for his Uncle Petyr’s next request…

53. Yohn Royce (Previously 46th)

Royce

…just thankful not to be thrown through a moon roof.

54. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 47th)

Aeron

Someone get this guy a paddle boat.

55. Smalljon Umber (Previously 48th)

Smalljon

Dead to the Starks.

56. Harald Karstark (Previously 49th)

Karstark

Dead to everyone else in the North if the rest of his house goes Stark.

57. Rickon Stark (Previously 50th)

Rickon

Hang in there, little buddy.

58. Waif (Previously 39th)

Waif

Raise your hand if you think she meets Needle soon.

59. Talla Tarly (Newbie)

Talla

The sweetest…but what was that thing about the guy Samwell’s father wants her to marry? That seemed like some possible foreshadowing.

60. Dickon Tarly (Newbie)

Dickon

Samwell’s bro seems like a total Westeros Bro. Not necessarily a bad one, just a product of his environment. You wonder if he’ll be tasked to hunt for Sam (they talked a lot about hunting). If he does go after Sam, will pull the bow on his own brother?

61. Zanrush (Previously 53rd)

Zanrush

Let’s see what this guy and Kinvara’s priestesses can do upcoming episodes.

62. Septa Unella (Previously 56th)

Septa

You live to see another day, Septa…Jaime is coming soon though.

63. Lancel Lannister (Previously 57th)

Lancel

…that goes for you too.

64. Lady Crane (Previously 58th)

Lady Crane

I don’t know how much Lady Crane we’re ever going to see again, but she was important enough to make Arya go against the House of Black and White.

65. Walder Rivers (Previously NR)

Rivers

The Blackfish owes this guy some payback…

66. Lothar Frey (Previously NR)

Lothar Frey

…him too.

67. Lhazareen (Previously 55th)

Lhazareen

We’ll see how highly Lhazareen is regarded when Daenerys returns to Meereen.

68. Izembaro (Newbie)

Izembaro

Might be the last we see of his Acting Troupe, but he is the one in charge of it.

69. Bianca (Newbie)

Bianca

What happens to Bianca now that Lady Crane knows she put a hit out on her? And does she get her money back for the job not getting done?

70. Edmure Tully ( NR)

Nephew Tully

I can’t even imagine what the Freys have been doing to this poor guy. He didn’t even want to get married!

71. Ser Loras (Previously 59th)

Loras

So Margaery sold him out…although I think he technically asked for that?

72. Mace Tyrell (Previously 60th)

Mace

MACE HAD HIS CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING OF SIGNIFICANCE AND HE LOOKED STUPID TRYING. I mean c’mon, someone had to lead his horse for him.

73. Maester Pycelle (Previously 61st)

Pycelle

*Louder Fart Noise*

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep.5 – “What Willis was Talking About”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

There isn’t much you can say after one of the most powerful scenes in the entire series takes place.

No More Hodoring.gif

We don’t normally designate rankings for characters who have passed on, but because we finally found out what Willis was talking about

Honorable #1: Hodor

Hodor

Hodor.

1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)

Daenerys

After what we saw what the Night’s King could do, you would think he’d be the obvious #1. Not so fast…

Fire still beats ice, and the Mother of Dragons has plenty of it. Her reputation is spreading and inspiring others across the world (which we’ll get to later). It’s only a matter of time, with the army she’s raising and 3 dragons, until she fulfills the promise she makes to Jorah (and many others) that she’ll rule the 7 kingdoms. Still curious what her reaction will be when she returns to Meereen.

2. Night’s King (Previously 6th)

Night's King

When the Night’s King shows up, it’s hard not say “Holy Shit”. After (if) you get over the loss of Hodor, you can wonder how Winter hasn’t already come yet (that’s your fault if your mind went to the gutter). Placing the tracker on Bran while he was warging, busting through the Three-Eyed Raven’s barrier, striking him down, and probably plotting more…? Let’s hope there’s more to come this season.

3. Sansa Stark (Previously 2nd)

Sansa

Unbelievably strong moment for Sansa, as she laid into Littlefinger with all the gory details. I would’ve still accepted his, although I’m not her and it might not matter because it’s obvious he cares for her…

Sansa is definitely calling the shots too. She schools Davos on how the North thinks. She relays Baelish’s intel on Brynden Tully, The Blackfish. Then she reminds everyone that she has the Stark name for the North to rally behind, over Jon Snow. Making him a cool wolf cloak helped ease that over though.

4. Bran Stark (Previously 28th)

Bran

We got a good look at what Bran could do, as he Warged back in time to alter childhood Hodor into standing up in the present when it mattered most. Was he altering history, or was that just destiny? I think it was the latter…but now he IS the Three-Eyed Raven.

5. Jon Snow (Previously 4th)

Jon

Now that Jon is done being emo, he has a mission and direction. Albeit from his younger half-sister Sansa, but direction is good for a man who just came back from the dead. He also has both of Stannis’s closest advisors following him (one of which that can bring him back from the dead). The Sansa-Jon Tag-Team is one worth rooting for, even on a show that has warned us not to get too attached.

6. Cersei Lannister (Previously 3rd)

Cersei

Cersei is ready for blood and a lot of it. She also has the Hand of the King, the Queen of Thorns, and the King himself under her thumb. Oh yeah, and Zombie Mountain to unleash upon the Sparrows FINALLY.

7. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 7th)

Tyrion

Meanwhile, Tyrion has evidently calmed down the violence in Meereen. Grey Worm gives him and Varys the report that the Sons of the Harpy have cooled down since they made their deal with the Masters and now they have to play the PR game. The propaganda side of the Meereen storyline is very interesting, especially if you want to compare it to what the United States itself has gone through, breaking away from England. You wonder though if he made the right choice entrusting a religious leader…We saw how that all went for his sister, Cersei.

8. Jaime Lannister (Previously 9th)

Jaime

Cersei’s partner-in-crime on the Lannister revenge tour is loving his role in charge of the King’s Guard and plotting to attack on the High Sparrow. They’re using Margaery and even Lancel as motivation for Olenna and Kevan, but his is purely vengeance and he finally has the wherewithal to do something about it.

9. Ser Jorah (Previously 17th)

Ser Jorah

Jorah didn’t have much screen time but he left one hell of an impression. When Daenerys tells you to get cured, you best get cured. You can also tell how much more she cares about him than Daario too. But where does he go now?

My money is on the Citadel for a Samwell/Gilly team-up.

10. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 10th)

Ollena

I’m pretty pumped to see Olenna Tyrell unleash her wrath with an army and not all cloak-and-dagger like she did with Joffrey. What happens though when the Lannister kids get what they want? She’s probably on their list too…

11. Zombie Mountain (Previously 19th)

Gregor Smash

Release the behemoth already.

12. High Sparrow (Previously 12th)

High Sparrow

I am anticipating this raid on his headquarters won’t go as cleanly as the Lannisters expect. There’s a chance they could all just be playing into his hand. He does have a lot of sway with the people of King’s Landing, which Kevan has mentioned before.

13. Ser Davos (Previously 8th)

Davos

Davos did a great job protecting Jon and bringing him back to life, then licked his wounds after hearing about Stannis and Shireen. Now he seems totally onboard with helping Jon and Sansa recruit a northern army. From what we’ve seen in the past, raising Stannis’s arming, he’s a valuable asset in that department.

14. Melisandre (Previously 10th)

Melisandre

In an episode where she didn’t say a word, we still learned more about Melisandre. We got to know her boss (scroll down) and what people think of her across the world, like Varys. She believes Jon is destined to rule, and that still could be true but in a different way than Daenerys. Still gives her purpose and that’s powerful thing on this show.

15. Brienne (Previously 5th)

Brienne

I don’t necessarily like Brienne parting from Sansa, but we know they both can hold their own. When it comes to accomplishing missions, there’s nobody more determined than she is. There has to be something to her putting some doubt in Sansa’s mind regarding Davos and Melisandre…

This reaction to Tormund was the best though.

16. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 13th)

Tormund

#WildlingFlirting at its finest.

17. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 15th)

Ramsay

Gotta love the relief of a Ramsay-less episode.

18. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 33rd)

Euron

Euron is like the love child of Sabertooth Liev Schreiber and Ewan McGregor.

His whole “debate” with Yara for the Kingsmoot was a lot like what I am imagining from Hillary/Trump debates, although he might have been more than effective. I actually don’t hate his plan to align with Daenerys, but I get a feeling his “hubris” is going to do him in.

“Let’s go murder them” might have been the worst/best line from this whole series.

19. Petyr Baelish (Previously 16th)

Petyr Baelish

Sansa served Littlefinger a steaming hot slice of humble pie and it might’ve been the most human we’ve ever seen him. He did pick himself back up quick, was back to being the sly fox he’s always been throwing in the “half-brother” bit about Jon. I still think he and the knights of the Vale are going to be the x-factor when Sansa/Jon vs. Ramsay finally goes down.

20. Varys (Previously 14th)

Varys

Sassy Varys is such an under-appreciated aspect of this show. His knowledge does give him power and that’s why I think so highly of him, but he got knocked back quite a bit after the following interaction…

21. Kinvara (Newbie) 

Kinvara

This is a high ranking for a for a newbie but Kinvara left quite an impression. It takes quite a lot to silence Varys and I don’t think Tyrion knows what he’s gotten himself into by enlisting her. She believes in Daenerys, which she makes clear multiple times in her introduction. What I’m wondering the most is though…

What happens when someone pulls the stone from around her neck? How much older is she than Melisandre?

22. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 23rd)

Jaqen 2.34.02 PM

We learned a little bit more about Jaqen, how the house came to be and that none of the Many-Faced God’s followers came from aristocracy. We still have more questions than answers about him and hope that latter comes soon.

23. Wun Wun (Previously 20th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-24 at 1.48.58 PM

I can’t wait for more Wun Wun gifs, honestly.

24. Daario Naharis (Previously 18th)

Daario

The most awkward character on the show award goes to…yep. That had to suck seeing Jorah profess his love for Daenerys and she totally go for it, huh Daario?

25. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 21st)

Edd

I loved the Lord Dolorous Edd’s “oh shit, I’m in charge” moment.

26. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 26th)

Tommen

I feel bad for Tommen. Kid just wants his wife back and he’s getting played from all angles. He is the king though and he’s going to have to realize it soon before someone does him in like his brother Joffrey.

27. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 31st)

Dragons

Ready the dragons! Momma’s coming home.

28. Ghost (Previously 32nd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.34.24 AM

Ghost has ANOTHER sibling to avenge, ugh. Dammit. That was pretty brutal.

29. Meera (Previously 49th)

Meera

MEERA CAN KILL WHITE WALKERS! HOLY SHIT! See what happens when you get off your freezing ass…

30. Queen Margaery (Previously 54th)

Margaery

We’ve left her toward the back of this list for too long. I’m a little worried about her safety during this raid, but Margaery is resourceful and a survivor. She’s “Helen of Troy” for Olenna and Tommen. I can see her helping her odds during the attack as well, perhaps getting some revenge on the High Sparrow or Septa.

31. Kevan Lannister (Previously 38th)

Kevan

Kevan is following his niece’s lead to get his son back, but I think he’s going to come away from this whole thing REALLY disappointed…

32. Missandei (Previously 34th)

Missandei

There are two sides rising right now, the Starks and Daenerys. Daenerys’s is a bit less trusting of each other but Missandei seems to understand what Tyrion and Varys are doing in her absence.

33. Grey Worm (Previously 35th)

Greyworm

Grey Worm is likely less onboard than Missandei but he goes where she and Daenerys do. The results seemed to convince him a little better too, after the deal with the Masters

34. Arya Stark (Previously 24th)

Arya

Arya, sorry…No Name seemed to be picking up moment to her story, but then it went back to quicksand as she appears to still be learning things. Hopefully her new mission gets the Braavos storyline back going again.

35. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 22nd)

Yara

Well, that whole Kingsmoot thing didn’t go according to plan…Evidently Yara still has loyalists though, including her brother. My hope is that the Greyjoys make a run for wherever either Jon and Sansa or Brienne are heading.

36. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 25th)

Theon

Don’t lie. You were proud of Theon standing up for his sister with that nice speech. It helps that he knows his way around Westeros as well as anyone and has pull with Sansa.

Question though: Why didn’t the cheers he got during his speech count as enough for Yara getting the crown? That whole Kingsmoot voting process was bullshit.

37. Qyburn (Previously 39th)

Qyburn

Think Qyburn’s got some tricks to share with the Lannisters and Zombie Mountain for their upcoming raid?

38. Podrick Payne (Previously 37th)

Podrick

Pod and Brienne back out on their own again. Personally, I think it ups his value but I’m waiting to see his next surprise.

39. Waif (Previously 51st)

Waif

Gawd, enough with the stick fights! Apparently she can still kick Arya’s ass, even when she can see…and without a stick. Stick to that, please. (See what I did there?)

40. Drogon (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.42.10 AM

My hope is that Daenerys runs back into Drogon on the way back to Meereen. That would be nice…and reassuring that he’s okay.

41. Ellaria Sand (Previously 29th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.30.59 AM

Call me when Dorne is relevant again.

42. Tyene Sand (Previously 40th)

Tyene

Like…

43. Nymeria Sand (Previously 41st)

Nymera

…I…

44. Obara Sand (Previously 42nd)

Obara

…said.

45. Robin Arryn (Previously 43rd)

Robin

You’d think he’d be mad about Sansa rejecting Littlefinger’s help but I don’t think he really cares…about anything.

46. Yohn Royce (Previously 57th)

Royce

If the Vale helps anyone in the upcoming Northern war, Royce seems like a difference maker as a commander in that instance. He’s just lucky not to be thrown out the Moon Roof at this point, so he could do some redeeming.

47. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 44th)

Aeron

Way to help your niece and nephew out when Euron called for the “murder party”, jerk.

48. Smalljon Umber (Previously 45th)

Smalljon

We got some clarity on where Umber stands, or more so his standing with Sansa and Jon. They’re pretty prepared to let him rot for turning over Rickon.

49. Harald Karstark (Previously 46th)

Karstark

Harald, on the other hand, just became much more interesting…at least his family name is. Sansa believes the Karstark’s could be swayed, now that she and Jon are gunning for Ramsay. Harald may get left behind by his own kin, or will just fall in line if they realign with the Starks.

50. Rickon Stark (Previously 47th)

Rickon

Hang in there, little buddy.

51. Gilly (Previously 52nd)

Gilly

I get a bad feeling Gilly is going to be pissed with Sam when she meets his family.

52. Samwell Tarley (Previously 53rd)

Samwell

For the reason above…sorry, Sam.

53. Zanrush (Newbie)

Zanrush

I have no idea what this guy’s importance is, but being Kinvara’s guy could have some perks.

54. Bronn (Previously 55th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.16.14 PM

Can we put Bronn on a milk carton now? File for missing person’s or something?

 

55. Lhazareen (Previously 50th)

Lhazareen

Still waiting on the Missandei jealousy stare.

56. Septa Unella (Previously 58th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.21.48 PM

She’s so dead…

57. Lancel Lannister (Previously 59th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.33.42 PM

…him too.

58. Lady Crane (Newbie)

Lady Crane

Big question mark this woman’s importance. Who wants her dead and why? Oh wait, a servant can’t ask questions.

59. Ser Loras Tyrell (Previously 60th)

Loras

Broken.

60. Mace Tyrell (Previously 61st)

Mace

Useless.

61. Maester Pycelle (Previously 62nd)

Pycelle

*Fart noise*

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep4 “Bow To Your Khaleesi!”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

Besides that amazing ending to the 4th episode of this 6th season, there were also some major teams being formed as well. First, major fist pump for Jon and Sansa! Theon and Yara are starting a campaign before the Kingmoot. Cersei and Jaime finally have the Queen of Thorns and Kevan on their side. Then Tyrion and Varys did some wheeling and dealing.

So which of these alliances are #1 Contenders for the Tag-Team Title Belts?

 

Now for the Rankings…

1. Daenerys Stormborn (Previously 22nd)

Daenerys

Say what you will about Beyonce or Taylor Swift, but right now…Daenerys > All.

She didn’t need dragons to prove her point this time because SHE IS ONE. With the help of #TrueDectiveSeason3 (Jorah & Daario, in case you’re new here), she burned the whole Dothraki infrastructure down to the ground. You have to love how she just smiled as Khal Moro flung every insult possible her way before lighting every single one of his cohorts up in their council. Now she has added to her forces with the entire Dothraki population and can return to Meereen to raise more hell before heading west.

2. Sansa Stark (Previously 13th)

Sansa

This was certainly a moment we all hoped for and I appreciate the Game of Thrones showrunners for not prolonging it any longer. In Castle Black and with Jon’s support, Sansa can build the army she rightfully deserves. It also took her forcing the issue of saving Rickon and the North from Ramsay for Jon to get his head out of his ass a little too. This is where Sansa’s revenge officially begins.

3. Cersei Lannister (Previously 4th)

Cersei

It’s funny how “Mean Girls”-ish the Small Council was being toward Cersei and Jaime. Cersei has Tommen’s trust now and even without “authority and dignity” (as Ollena points out) she has the trust of the small council again too, using Margaery’s atonement as leverage. Now is her chance to destroy the High Sparrow.

4. Jon Snow (Previously 1st)

Jon

I think it’s understandable to have some melancholy after being brought back from the dead, but nobody wanted to see Jon leave Castle Black. Sansa gives him purpose now. Although he seems unsure of the decision he’s making, Rickon in danger and revenge for Sansa should be enough motivation to kick Ramsay’s ass.

5. Brienne (Previously 14th)

Brienne

Brienne held NOTHING back in this episode. “Oh you guys miss Stannis? I executed that bitch.” Now she’s established herself as a force within Castle Black and can better protect Sansa if the dangerous people there respect her.

6. Night’s King (Previously 6th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.35.08 AM

The Night’s King will occupy this spot until we see him again, which appears to be next week. All you need for reference is  the “Hardhome” episode.

7. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 2nd)

Tyrion

Tyrion didn’t make any new friends by negotiating with the Masters, but you can see why he was doing it. As we learned from Michael Corleone in The Godfather, “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”. He makes a good point that he, Missandei and Grey Worm should have the upper-hand as the Masters underestimate them, but it all may be posturing for when Daenerys returns.

8. Ser Davos (Previously 3rd)

Davos

Davos has been great so far this season but now he’s asking questions for answers he probably doesn’t want to hear. Learning that both Stannis and Shireen take the wind out of him, as they were practically his family. Now he’s left with a choice to serve #TeamStark in the war to come or turn his back on them because Brienne killed his king and Melisandre sacrificed his favorite person in the world.

9. Jaime Lannister (Previously 12th)

Jaime

Not only did Jaime establish his place in the small council again, but he already had a strategy prepared for Kevan and the Queen of Thorns. Kevan may be the hand but Jaime is obviously calling the shots on this plan to get Margaery back and “hopefully” kill the High Sparrow.

10. Melisandre (Previously 7th)

Melisandre

We can see the Red Woman has purpose again as she has obviously pledged allegiance to Jon Snow. Davos’s questions have her reeling a little though, especially the when he points out that Stannis trusted in her more than anyone. It’s still tough to contend with someone who can fire off “blood assassinations” and bring the dead back to life.

11. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 29th)

Ollena

Big jump for the Queen of Thorns as she sets aside her differences with the Lannister siblings in order to save Margaery and Ser Loras. Jaime and Cersei may just be using her and her motivation only to kill the High Sparrow, but we’re going to see Olenna in all her fiery glory sending her army into action. “Many people will die anyway” was my favorite line from that entire exchange.

12. The High Sparrow (Previously 8th)

High Sparrow

He may have the upperhand for now but, man…I am TIRED of this jerk. The weekly soliloquies are getting old and more annoying. I found myself sounding like Homer Simpson while he told that story about his upbringing to Margaery…

13. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 9th)

Tormund

Is it me or does Tormund have a HUGE crush on Brienne? He had that “love at first sight” look on his face as she rode in on her horse. He just stared at her while munching on some meat…

Let’s come up with a ship (relationship) name for Tormund and Brienne before someone else does! Send your name with a hashtag to me on Twitter ASAP!

14. Varys (Previously 5th)

Varys

Varys didn’t have much to say in this episode, but he did bring the Masters to Mereen to hear Tyrion out. Gaining anyone’s trust makes him more dangerous and powerful. Interested to see where that leads to next week as we see the effects of the deal they made.

15. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 10th)

Ramsay

We learned nothing new about Ramsay. He sucks as a human being and has no regard for any life at all. It’s unfortunate that Osha was brought back after being gone for years to just get killed in his lap. He has also called out Jon Snow, which we hope will be the dumbest decision of his life. Karma’s has to catch up at some point.

16. Petyr Baelish (Previously 18th)

Little Finger

Little Finger’s first appearance this season is a strong one. Like Varys, he knows everything and used his knowledge against Robin’s top general. Robin, like Tommen, may be in charge but we know Baelish is really the one in charge. He is also lending his forces for Sansa’s protection, which should be interesting considering he gave her to Ramsay in the first place.

17. Ser Jorah (Previously 36th)

Jorah

#TrueDetectiveSeason3 finally solved their mystery by finding Daenerys. Jorah takes a lot of shit from Daario throughout the episode, age jokes and not being good enough for Dany. But it was Jorah’s experience and savviness that gets he and Daario to Daenerys undetected. At the end of the episode, it’s Jorah who keeps his head up as everyone, including Daario, bows in awe of the Kahleesi too.

18. Daario Naharis (Previously 37th)

Daario

If Daario wasn’t totally onboard following Daenerys before, he seems to be now. His lack of discipline paid off when he saved Jorah with his trusty knife. But I don’t think he was prepared to see what transpired at the end of the episode. After all the bragging and picking on Jorah, Daario was the one most humbled of the two as he bowed and adverted his eyes.

19. Zombie Mountain (Previously 11th)

Gregor Smash

I can’t wait for Zombie Mountain to be unleashed on the Sparrows. Do it! Do it now!

20. Wun Wun (Previously 15th)

Wun Wun Enters

Also looking forward to this beast being unleashed on the Bolton army.

21. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 16th)

Edd

Dolorous Edd being in charge of the Night’s Watch certainly frees Jon up to focus on defeating the Boltons. His loyalty to Jon only improves #TeamStark’s forces too.

22. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 32nd)

Yara

Yara had a lot of frustrations to unload on Theon and that was pretty evident. She didn’t want to hear sorries but wasn’t going to let him be the prodigal son either. Accepting his help as she makes a run at control of the Iron Islands was smart though.

23. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 29th)

Jaqen

It would seem we’re going to learn what’s next in Braavos very soon. Hopefully that means we learn more about the super mysterious Jaqen too.

24.  “No One” formerly Arya (Previously 20th)

Arya

“No One” is going to feel really left out when she finds out Jon and Sansa are taking the fight to Ramsay without her. It would seem she has some work to do in Braavos first…

Sidenote: Does anyone else anticipate a reunion with The Hound coming soon? I don’t think he’s dead…

25. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 35th)

Theon

Theon’s home. Yay. He’s also pledging allegiance to his sister, which is probably the best call considering he betrayed her in the rescue attempt. Does being the original heir to the throne give he and his sister enough sway before the Kingsmoot?

26. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 27th)

Tommen

Good for Tommen, breaking promises with The High Sparrow to help his mother. You wonder if the High Sparrow expected that though and whether or not there’s another trick up the priest’s sleeve. However, Tommen seems to FINALLY be doing something to get Margaery back and that’s a good thing.

27. The Three-Eyed Raven (Previously 23rd)

Raven

Where will Doc Brown be taking Bran next as they go “Back to the Future”…or past, whatever.

28. Bran Stark (Previously 24th)

Bran

The teaser for the next episode shows Bran seeing the Night’s King for the first time. Learning more about the enemy gets him closer to learning “everything” and hopefully that gets him closer to channeling the dragons to defeat the White Walkers.

29. Ellaria Sand (Previously 28th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.30.59 AM

Can we get a “Meanwhile, in Dorne…” soon? It’s weird that Ellaria played such a big part in the premiere and we haven’t seen her since.

30. Leaf (Previously 25th)

Leaf

Want to see Leaf in some action again soon, but throwing fireballs keeps her in the Top 30.

31. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 21st)

Dragons

As the people of Meereen grow restless, the two dragons on-site are Tyrion’s best chance at keeping order before Daenerys returns.

32. Ghost (Previously 26th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.34.24 AM

Ghost now knows his brother Shaggydog is dead. Time for payback…

33. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 31st)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.35.40 AM

Similar to Ellaria, Euron made his power move early on and we haven’t heard from him since. The Kingsmoot is near and obviously he will be challenging Yara and Theon for control of the Iron Islands. This could get messy because it’s apparent he’s a little crazy…By the way, is it me or does he have some Liev Schreiber to his look?

34. Missandei (Previously 46th)

Missandei

This was a big episode for both Missandei and Grey Worm. We understood a bit more why neither of them are totally cool with Tyrion. She keeps Tyrion in check a little reminding him that he wasn’t a slave for nearly as long as she and Grey Worm were. When it mattered most too, Missandei even quoted Tyrion to back him in front of the disgruntled freed Meereen citizens.

35. Grey Worm (Previously 47th)

Grey Worm

As mentioned just prior, big episode for Grey Worm. You have to appreciate his assertiveness with Tyrion but still supporting him in front of the citizens. Grey Worm doesn’t understand politics like Tyrion and Varys do, but he does know the Masters in this land better. We may learn fast that things don’t roll the same way here as they do in the west where Tyrion is from, diplomatically.

36. Hodor (Previously 35th)

Hodor

Hodor.

37. Podrick Payne (Previously 48th)

Podrick

Podrick looked pretty badass riding in with Brienne and Sansa. Didn’t get a word in at the dinner table, but hey…that’s not his thing.

38. Kevan Lannister (Previously 38th)

Kevan

We’re learning quickly that Kevan is not as overpowering as his late brother but it’s good to see him come around Jaime and Cersei’s way of thinking. He’s also motivated to get Lancel back. Unfortunately, I don’t think Lancel comes out of this thing safely.

39. Qyburn (Previously 30th)

Qyburn

Lurking in the basement shadows, giving candy to kids, trying to be Varys…things seem to be going alright for Qyburn and he’s got Maester Pycelle looking for his shoulder too.

40. Tyene Sand (Previously 34th)

Tyene

Lack of Dorne screen-time makes it tough to keep Tyene high in this list or much higher than her sisters. But you have to like her best of the three, based on her history so far.

41. Nymeria Sand (Previously 43rd)

Nymera

…yep…

42. Obara Sand (Previously 44th)

Obara

Did “Obara’s Not Impressed face” catch on yet?

 

43. Robin Arryn (Previously NR)

Robin

First appearance for Robin since Sansa’s SLAP last season was pretty important, especially for Sansa. I actually didn’t even consider this kid would grow like Bran did, but he has an army and he has entrusted decision making to Little Finger.

44. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 38th)

Aeron

You get a feeling Aeron is going to rise on this list after the Kingsmoot.

45. Smalljon Umber (Previously 41st)

Smalljon

My fingers are still crossed for a double-cross from Smalljon.

46. Harald Karstark (Previously 42nd)

Karstark

Whatever Smalljon was referring to regarding Harald and children makes me really nervous about Rickon.

47. Rickon Stark (Previously 45th)

Rickon

…at least Rickon is serving as motivation for Jon and Sansa to take out Ramsay.

48. Drogon (Previously 53rd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.42.10 AM

Whenever you’re done licking your wounds, Drogon, feel free to come back.

49. Meera (Previously 54th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.43.08 AM

Anyone else think Meera’s just been sitting in that same spot this entire time, outside of the cave? Bran seeing her father in his Tower of Joy vision should increase her importance sooner than later.

50. Lhazareen (Newbie)

Lhazareen

Missandei might get jealous of Dany’s new friend.

51. Waif (Previously 49th)

Waif

What’s next for Waif, now that she can’t pick on Arya anymore?

52. Gilly (Previously 39th)

Gilly

I just pictured Gilly singing “I’m on a Boat!” by Lonely Island. Someone should make that video asap.

53. Samwell Tarley (Previously 40th)

Samwell

…and Samwell’s still puking.

54. Queen Margaery (Previously 51st)

Margaery

Margaery seems to have a good understanding of what the High Sparrow is trying to do with her and Lancel but the sooner she can get rescued, the better.

55. Bronn (Previously 52nd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.16.14 PM

WHERE’S BRONN?

56. Khal Savo’s widow (Previously 50th)

Khal Wife

Not so much like Daenerys now, are ya?

57. Yohn Royce (Previously NR)

Royce

Yohn should probably be much higher on this list because he is a commander, but Robin was THIS close to throwing him out of the Moon Door…

58. Septa Unella (Previously 56th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.21.48 PM

Your time will come, Septa. And it’s coming soon.

59. Lancel Lannister (Previously 57th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.33.42 PM

Bringing up Lancel as a reason for Kevan to help Cersei only makes it more obvious he’s going to die.

60. Ser Loras Tyrell (Previously 58th)

Loras

Loras has seen better days. Just not sure if those will be coming anytime soon…or ever again.

61. Mace Tyrell (Previously 59th)

Mace

This guy is so unimportant that he wasn’t even present at this last small council meeting.

62. Maester Pycelle (Previously 60th)

Pycelle

Keep farting, old man. This is where you’ll be for a long time.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

 

Previous Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep3 “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

This wasn’t the most exciting of episodes for many, but it was for me. Jon’s awake and alive. The Tower of Joy fight scene was excellent. Arya aka ‘No One’ is finally getting interesting again. Cersei and Jaime are back to being Cersei and Jaime. And…

…justice was served. Suck it, Olly

1. Jon Snow (Previously 1st)

Jon

Nothing makes sense to Jon after he’s woken up. The last thing he remembers was Olly and the conspirators stabbing him in the heart for doing what he felt was right. Then he he got to know “nothing” really well in the afterlife. As Tormund said, the men baring witness to Jon’s resurrection see him as a god. He has also freed himself from his duties of the Night’s Watch…because he served until it ended (he died).

Where does Jon go now? He has the support of Castle Black, the Wildlings, Davos and Melisandre. Hopefully Sansa catches him in time before he goes anywhere.

2. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 2nd)

Tyrion

Tyrion quoting himself as “a wise man” and wanting to play “Never Have I Ever…” was one of my favorite things from this young season. As slow as the Meereen storyline may be, Tyrion is in his element calling shots and gathering every bit of an advantage as he can against those who oppose him. You also get the feeling he was trying to dig into Greyworm and Missandei’s pasts a little too.

3. Ser Davos (Previously 3rd)

Davos

“Now go fail again.”

Davos seems like the ultimate bring-back-to-life coach. As Melisandre comes in throwing prophecies and purpose at Jon after JUST RISING FROM THE DEAD, Davos slows the roll while instilling some direction. He and Melisandre are similar in the way that they are better served as council and motivation for their leader. Davos is much less abrasive than Melisandre which should help Jon transition to his new arc better.

4. Cersei Lannister (Previously 5th)

Cersei

Technically Cersei isn’t the queen, but she sure is acting like one. Since regaining Tommen’s trust, Cersei is back to her old self and looking for vengeance. She has Varys’s “little birds” reporting to her about everything everyone is saying (if only she had Twitter), Jaime, and Zombie Mountain. The old folks that walked away from her at the table might be in for a rude awakening.

5. Varys (Previously 10th)

Varys

Seeing Varys pull the backdoor deals is an underrated aspect to the show. It is indeed a game for power and as the G.I. Joes say, “knowing is half the battle.” Varys also takes an honorable approach, choosing negotiations over torture to find out about the Meereen’s conspirators.

6. Night’s King (Previously 6th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.35.08 AM

The Night’s King will occupy this spot until we see him again. All you need for reference is  the“Hardhome” episode.

 

7. Melisandre (Previously 4th)

Melisandre

This was Melisandre’s “Young Frankenstein” moment, although after the fact. Getting shown the door, subtly, puts her behind Davos but they both have the same goals for Jon. Davos sees Jon as a beacon of justice for Westeros and Melisandre sees him as the destined ruler. I don’t see her allowing Jon to leave Castle Black without her by his side, based on her prophecy.

8. The High Sparrow (Previously 12th)

Sparrow

The High Sparrow is a master manipulator, isn’t he?  Seeing him sit down and bring King Tommen to his level on the bench signified the power he may have. I also get the feeling Tommen is being used as bait to get the Sparrow’s hopes up before Cersei brings it all crashing down. This is a game, after all.

9. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 8th)

Tormund

The Wildling leader is by far the most distinctive in both appearance and presence. Providing some comic relief for Jon was cool too. Similar to Melisandre and Davos, he and his army will likely go where Jon goes.

10. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 14th)

Ramsay

It’s hard to hate any character on TV more than this one, but everything seems to be coming up Ramsay these days. He defeated Stannis’s army. Winterfell is his. And now he has his Stark (Rickon). Nobody wins forever on this show though. Umber may have tipped us off a little, using Roose pledging his allegiance to Rob Stark as an example of why he won’t kneel to Ramsay.

11. Zombie Mountain (Previously 11th)

Mountain

Pretty sure Zombie Mountain made Maester Pycelle shit himself. When Ser Gregor Clegane gets to participate in another trial by combat, there’s going to be a lot more of that happening…and blood.

12. Jaime Lannister (Previously 13th)

Jaime

Jaime is doing and saying all the right things by his family and King’s Landing. He also gave the elders, like his uncle and the Tyrells, a chance to work together. He leads the King’s Guard and that will come in handy when he and Cersei take the Sparrow’s keep.

13. Sansa Stark (Previously 7th)

Sansa

Getting to Castle Black will be huge for Sansa. Even without Jon in charge, Dolorous Edd sympathizes with him and likely will with Sansa as well. Word can then spread that the Starks are back in business, that the Wildlings are united with Castle Black, and hopefully “the North remembers” what the Boltons did.

14. Brienne (Previously 9th)

Brienne

It would be nice for Brienne to finally get some backup, especially protecting Sansa. We’ve seen her hold her own in a Bolton camp, in King’s Landing and in battle. Working with the Night’s Watch should be an upgrade in circumstances.

15. Wun Wun (Previously 15th)

Wun Wun Enters

Stone Cold Wun Wun. I’m going to have THIS in everyone’s heads when they see him again.

16. LORD COMMANDER Edd (Previously 18th)

Edd

Dolorous Edd stepped up and took over for Jon on top of the wall in battle. He does it again for all of Castle Black. Having fought at Hardhome gives him better experience than most to lead the Night’s Watch when Winter finally comes too.

17. Khal Moro (Previously 18th)

Khal Moro

From within the giant Dothraki camp, Khal Moro is the best chance Daenerys has. He obviously respects her and could have punished her for going out on her the minute he met her. So he will have some sway when the council that decides her fate meets. I also think he will key for any possible alliance Daenerys forms with the Dothraki and her city of Meereen.

18. Petyr Baelish (Previously 21st)

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 11.09.22 AM

As Civil War appears to be shaping up in the North, Little Finger is going to play a major role in who wins. My money is on his feelings for Sansa Stark, which I already believe is the winning side.

19. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 28th)

Jaqen

Mr. Mysterious seems to have big plans for Arya in Braavos and maybe further, as he has her hit list and all he would need to know about her. And he can take away and give back sight, so he gets more interesting every episode.

20.  “No One” formerly Arya (Previously 33rd)

Arya

A girl has no name, so I guess we can’t call her Arya anymore…

Now that she’s graduated from the Daredevil school of blind fighting, “No One” is more dangerous than ever. I hope someone has dubbed the Rocky IV montage music to her “training scene” too.

21. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 24th)

Dragons

Best thing Tyrion (and Daenerys) has going for himself are these dragons. When diplomacy fails, dragon fire will certainly do when it comes to those trying to overthrow Meereen.

22. Daenerys Stormborn (Previously 12th)

Daenerys

We’ve seen this movie before with Daenerys, and come on…ENOUGH of the name dropping already, please? That doesn’t seem to be going well so far this season. The Khal widow trying to compare herself to Daenerys doesn’t realize who she’s dealing with though, and I don’t see the Dothraki council’s decision playing much of a factor in her future with her best men and probably a dragon looking for her.

23. The Three-Eyed Raven (Previously 22nd)

Raven

Okay, Raven…what have you been doing with Bran for the last year if he hasn’t learned “everything” already? If it wasn’t for the Three-Eyed Raven, we wouldn’t have seen that awesome fight scene from the Tower of Joy. But then again, he did cut it short on us…That’s so Raven.

24. Bran Stark (Previously 23rd)

Bran

Learn EVERYTHING already, Bran. Then change the world like you were meant to.

25. Leaf (Previously 29th)

Leaf

She throws fireballs, guys. Like Super Mario.

26. Ghost (Previously 27th)

Ghost

I’d say Ghost has some revenge to exact on the jerks who keep killing his family members…just saying.

27. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 19th)

Tommen

I want to think Tommen is playing The Sparrow and trying to earn his trust, but nothing has really suggested that he isn’t easily manipulated by anyone. He wants to see his wife and he wants to make things up to his mother. Hopefully his balls have dropped finally and he can start acting like a king to make both happen.

28. Ellaria Sand (Previously 20th)

Ellaria Sand

Haven’t seen Ellaria since she made Dorne bloody with Martel blood, but she is in charge. However, now she’s got Cersei’s birds spying on her…so have fun with that.

29. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 45th)

Queen of Thorns

The “Queen of Thorns” finally graced us with her presence, but I don’t think she’s being very savvy by being defiant with Cersei and Jaime. We know she doesn’t care for either of them, being responsible for Joffrey’s death, but they are probably the best chance she has to getting Margaery out. Then again, Cersei is the reason why both Margaery and Loras are in the mess that they are…so point taken.

30. Qyburn (Previously NR)

Qyburn

The original Dr. Frankenstein on the show has now found out how Varys gathered his information. Be honest though, you were worried those candied plums were poisoned too. Things like that happen in King’s Landing.

31. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 25th)

Euron

“I am the storm.” – Looking forward to what that means in the upcoming episode and how it will effect Theon’s return.

32. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 26th)

Yara

There seem to be a lot of politics going on in this season. A Dothraki council deciding Daenerys’s fate. A high council in King’s Landing at odds. Meereen’s council dealing with surrounding cities. Now another deciding who will lead the Iron Islands. Yara has put in the time to rule and become the first woman to do so. What will Theon returning and Euron have to do with that though?

33. Kevan Lannister (Previously 38th)

Kevan

Kevan not listening to his niece and nephew at the council table reminded me of, well…Congress. Not being proactive to avenge them and standing by while the king’s wife is still being held by the High Sparrow isn’t a good look for the current Hand.

34. Tyene Sand (Previously 31st)

Tyene

If attention is being brought back to Dorne, as Cersei and Jaime have suggested, that only means Tyene will be back in action. She would also appears keen enough to snuff out Qyburns newly recruited birds.

35. Hodor (Previously 30th) 

Hodor

What you talk’n bout, Willis…er…Hodor?

36. Ser Jorah Marmont (Previously 36th)

Jorah

#TrueDetectiveSeason3 continues…

And you can imagine Ser Jorah will catch up to Daenerys in time before this Dothraki council seals her fate.

37. Daario Naharis (Previously 37th)

Daario

…part 2 of #TrueDetectiveSeason3. My suspicions have shifted a little from Daario to the other Meereen power couple, but not entirely…

38. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 44th)

Aeron

It would appear Aeron will have a lot to say when it comes to who leads the Iron Islands next. How much will it matter though?

39. Gilly (Previously 49th)

Gilly

Gilly’s joy at sea was so delightful. Having a stronger stomach puts her ahead of Samwell too, but you have to admire her for trusting his decision to leave her and Little Sam with his family. Kinda get a feeling how that will go though…

40. Samwell Tarley (Previously 48th)

Samwell

Samwell has no idea what Jon’s been through. It’s going to be fun to see when he finds out. Training to become a Maester will make a big difference to assist Jon, but you have to wonder how safe he and Gilly will be with a family that sent him to Castle Black in the first place.

41. Smalljon Umber (Newbie)

Smalljon

I’m wildly torn on Smalljon Umber. Talking down to both Ramsay and Harald Karstark was very entertaining. Killing Shaggydog and handing Rickon over to them was not. I’m still not totally sure Ramsay should be trusting him, which counts as hope for the rest of us…I guess?

42. Harald Karstark (Previously 49th)

Karstark

Harald has positioned himself nicely in a potential empire, but nobody who gets close to Ramsay stays there…or alive.

43. Nymeria Sand (Previously 40th)

Nymera

Still doing great Indiana Jones impressions, I’m sure.

44. Obara Sand (Previously 41st)

Obara

The “Obara’s Not Impressed” face would make a pretty good meme.

45. Rickon Stark (Previously 52nd)

Rickon

Hey, it’s Rickon! Oh no, Ramsay has him. Sucks to be Rickon.

46. Missandei (Previously 42nd)

Missandei

Missandei hasn’t been particularly warm to Tyrion or his methods of managing Meereen. She knows the Masters’ practices pretty well and scoffs at Tyrion’s suggestion that they’ll try to be diplomatic with the leaders of the other cities. When Tyrion suggested they play a game to learn about her and Grey Worm’s pasts, that got me wondering whether or not there was more to her story than we knew.

47. Grey Worm (Previously 43rd)

Grey Worm

Where Missandei goes these days, Grey Worm follows. He also seems tentative around Tyrion. I don’t see him turning on his own Unsullied, but he would do anything for her…I hope I’m wrong about this notion.

48. Podrick Payne (Previously 34th)

Pod

I know this is a hefty slide for Pod, but I’m not sure how useful he’ll be in Castle Black. Then again, Pod is just full of surprises.

49. Waif (Previously 32nd)

Waif

Well, now that Arya’s training is done, who is Waif going to take joy in beating up now?

50. Khal Savo’s widow (Newbie)

Khal widow

This woman should be enough motivation for Daenerys to not stick around Vaes Dothrak. This is you if you stick around, Stormborn.

51. Queen Margaery (Previously 46th) 

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 11.24.32 AM

Margaery’s situation remains shitty until Tommen, Cersei and the King’s Guard make their move on the Sparrows. But she’s serving as motivation for them and her grandmother to do something soon.

52. Bronn (Previously 47th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.16.14 PM

When does Jaime enlist Bronn for help again? I hope soon.

53. Drogon (Previously 50th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.17.17 PM

…still licking his wounds, I suppose?

54. Meera (Previously 51st)

Meera

Still feeling sorry for herself, but her father being a part of Bran’s vision of the Tower of Joy should change things, and hopefully will bring the two closer together.

55. Osha (Previously 53rd) 

Osha

Being presented to Ramsay as a gift is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy…Then again, I’m a pretty spiteful person.

56. Septa Unella (Previously 54th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.21.48 PM

Your time will come, Septa. (so says the Iron Maiden tune)

57. Lancel Lannister (Previously 57th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.22.58 PM

…yours too, Lancel. Probably in the Trial By Combat against Zombie Mountain. Don’t suppose Cersei will hesitate to let him get crushed.

58. Ser Loras Tyrell (Previously 56th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.23.46 PM

Still don’t feel great about Loras’s odds.

59. Mace Tyrell (Previously 59th)

Mace

Even Hodor says more than this jerk.

60. Maester Pycelle (Previously NR)

Pycelle

Congrats, Master Pycelle! You’ve taken Olly’s place as last in the rankings. And you shit yourself.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep2 – “You Bastards!”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

I think Carice van Houten, who plays Melisandre, summed up Season 6’s second episode perfectly.

Very happy, Carice. Very damn happy.

It was also a big episode for the bastards of Thrones. Ramsay followed the Sand Snakes’ lead. Tommen got closer to growing a pair. Then, dun dun dun, Jon Snow got (as the kids say) woke. And dragons…

But first a quick moment for the fallen:

– Roose Bolton

– Walda Bolton

– Baby Bolton

– Balon Greyjoy

– That jerk that shot an arrow at Wun Wun

Wun Wun

Let’s begin now.

1. Jon Snow (Previously 10th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 10.36.36 AM

The wait is over, Thrones friends! It didn’t even take 3 days for Jon to rise from the dead, thanks to Melisandre (and Ser Davos, even more). As Roose Bolton feared, a living Stark in the north is much more powerful than any Bolton (we’ll get that later). With Sansa heading his way to Castle Black, and a reputation for being almost immortal, Jon’s going to have quite a following in future days.

2. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 3rd)

Tyrion

“That’s what I do…I drink, and I know things.”

And knowing’s half the battle. Tyrion get major props for respecting the dragons and releasing them from their chains, without being eaten or burnt to a crisp. As the allies to Meereen fall, the dragons become an even fiercer weapon than whatever forces they neighboring “master” cities can conjure. In Daenerys’s absence, Tyrion wields that power now.

3. Ser Davos Seaworth (Previously 4th)

Davos

Melisandre may have brought Jon back to life, but it took Davos pushing her to do so. It was like was representing the fans of the show that didn’t want to believe Jon Snow was dead and his pep talk was on a Super Bowl coach level, if you ask me. One can assume now that he would be Jon’s #2 as their forces build.

4. Melisandre (Previously 11th)

Melisandre

To be honest, I loved Emo Melisandre. I was half-expecting to see her black eye-liner, goth lipstick and listening to Hawthorn Heights, given her mood after the first episode. But she kept her clothes on, got to work, and performed one more miracle…just like Davos said she would.

5. Cersei Lannister (Previously 13th)

Cersei

If anyone knows the game as well as Tyrion, it’s his sister Cersei. The plan for revenge appears to be in motion now, as she has guilted her way back into King Tommen’s good graces. One can assume she’ll be the one influencing his decisions going forward regarding the Sparrows and getting Margaery back. The King’s Guard seemed pretty relieved too, when she chose to not sick her Zombie Mountain on them.

6. Night’s King (Previously 5th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.35.08 AM

I’ll just continue to refer to the “Hardhome” episode, until he appears again.

 

7. Sansa Stark (Previously 1st)

Sansa

Sansa got her BIG LONG OVERDUE WIN last week and she seems set to head to Castle Black. That will definitely be the best course of action with Jon coming back from the dead and the opportunity to bring the north together, first against Ramsay.

8. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 19th)

Tormund

Besides Wun Wun totally ragdolling a dude, Tormund led the charge into Castle Black. This one was way easier than the first time in Season 4. He also put one Crow down, which seemed to satisfy him greatly, and gave Alliser some fantastic sass. He’ll obviously be Jon’s key to the Wildling Army going forward, who will be amazed to see him walking again.

9. Brienne (Previously 2nd)

Brienne

It’s good to be on #TeamSansa, and really #TeamStark in general at the moment. One could imagine there will be some hiccups on the way to Castle Black, but Brienne has proven herself capable of handling just about anything at this point. You have to appreciate how polite she was with Sansa, when she totally could have pulled the “I told you so” card on her.

10. Varys (Previously 6th)

Varys

Varys has to feel better after seeing Tyrion tame the dragons in their lair. His resourcefulness for information surrounding Meereen also appear to be the council’s best asset after the dragons.

11. Zombie Mountain (Previously 15th)

Zombie Mountain

First #ZombieMountainSmash of the season was a great one. Jerk totally had it coming. The relief in the King’s guard’s faces was pretty priceless too after they realized they didn’t have to fight him…yet. Now unleash him on the damn Sparrows already!

12. The High Sparrow (Previously 16th)

High Sparrow

The High Sparrow remains high in the rankings here after flexing his mafia style muscles on Jaime. Very bold to send a message during his daughter’s funeral ceremony. I have to think Jaime will make him pay for that soon.

13. Jaime Lannister (Previously 7th)

Jaime

Like Cersei, Jaime seems to have influence over Tommen as well…and that’s going to come in handy as the Lannister siblings start their revenge campaign on everyone ever. Savvy to concede to the Sparrow when it’ll be way better to kill him down the road.

14. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 35th)

Ramsay

WORST. PERSON. EVER.

With that said, Ramsay is now the last Bolton in charge of his house and army. He also has zero honor, so that makes him more dangerous than most. He’s likely making a big mistake attacking Castle Black though, as his father warned. I also don’t think the Karstarks are the best house to align with, considering the head of the family broke his oath to Rob Stark in the first place.

15. Wun Wun The Giant (Previously 36th)

Wun Wun Enters

Who didn’t cheer when Wun Wun walked into Castle Black. All he needed was Stone Cold Steve Austin’s entrance music. 

16. Dolorous Edd (Previously 18th)

Edd

Did anyone expect to be calling Dolorous Edd “Lord Commander” when they first met him? Good for Edd, sticking by Jon’s side and rounding the Wildlings. We saw the leadership qualities in him during “Watchers on the Wall” and it’s cool that he has evolved to this now.

17. Daenerys Stormborn (Previously 12th)

Daenerys

We’ll likely learn more about Daenerys’s situation in the next episode, but for now she has Khal Moro’s protection and she’s safe. I still get the feeling she will be commanding even more respect in a short time’s notice with a new Dothraki army.

18. Khal Moro (Previously 14th)

Khal Moro

Khal Moro seems honorable. You worry about characters like him on this show though, as they let their guard down to the dangerous ones within their inner circle. Trusting Daenerys is smart and can pay off big time, if he survives.

19. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 27th)

Tommen

Tommen gets Top 20 status for simply being the king. He will also have the right people advising him as he makes his move to rescue his wife. The “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” babble was a little whiny, but he’s being pointed in the right direction now. Unfortunately, Kings don’t last long this show.

20. Ellaria Sand (Previously 9th)

Ellaria Sand

Inactivity makes Ellaria slide a little. Not sure how relevant her storyline will be for a while, but it’s hard not to assume she’s in control of Dorne at the moment and that’s enough to respect at the moment.

21. Petyr Baelish (Previously 22nd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 11.09.22 AM

Hey, where’s Little Finger at? Not sure if he knew what would transpire with Sansa and the Boltons would happen, but he would look pretty damn smart if he did. Houses are going to be choosing sides in the north soon, and you wonder how much influence he has when they do.

22. The Three-Eyed Raven (Previously 31st)