Piffcast: Memorial Day 2016 w/ The Next James Bond, Riot Fest and More

For your Memorial Day Listening, Michael and TJ give their guests a breather and cover a vast array of topics all on their own. They discuss their favorites of the NEXT James Bond candidates, some of our favorite video games, the Riot Fest Chicago lineup, Game of Thrones (per usual), and all the tangents that come with.

Listeners ALSO get in on the fun by asking ANYTHING and the guys do their best to answer them. Questions include: The #1 Sport for America, Favorite Simpsons Characters, Sports to add to the Olympics, and our favorite things to do in Chicago.

Follow for more on Facebook or Twitter. You can subscribe to The Piffcast on iTunes too.

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep.5 – “What Willis was Talking About”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

There isn’t much you can say after one of the most powerful scenes in the entire series takes place.

No More Hodoring.gif

We don’t normally designate rankings for characters who have passed on, but because we finally found out what Willis was talking about

Honorable #1: Hodor



1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)


After what we saw what the Night’s King could do, you would think he’d be the obvious #1. Not so fast…

Fire still beats ice, and the Mother of Dragons has plenty of it. Her reputation is spreading and inspiring others across the world (which we’ll get to later). It’s only a matter of time, with the army she’s raising and 3 dragons, until she fulfills the promise she makes to Jorah (and many others) that she’ll rule the 7 kingdoms. Still curious what her reaction will be when she returns to Meereen.

2. Night’s King (Previously 6th)

Night's King

When the Night’s King shows up, it’s hard not say “Holy Shit”. After (if) you get over the loss of Hodor, you can wonder how Winter hasn’t already come yet (that’s your fault if your mind went to the gutter). Placing the tracker on Bran while he was warging, busting through the Three-Eyed Raven’s barrier, striking him down, and probably plotting more…? Let’s hope there’s more to come this season.

3. Sansa Stark (Previously 2nd)


Unbelievably strong moment for Sansa, as she laid into Littlefinger with all the gory details. I would’ve still accepted his, although I’m not her and it might not matter because it’s obvious he cares for her…

Sansa is definitely calling the shots too. She schools Davos on how the North thinks. She relays Baelish’s intel on Brynden Tully, The Blackfish. Then she reminds everyone that she has the Stark name for the North to rally behind, over Jon Snow. Making him a cool wolf cloak helped ease that over though.

4. Bran Stark (Previously 28th)


We got a good look at what Bran could do, as he Warged back in time to alter childhood Hodor into standing up in the present when it mattered most. Was he altering history, or was that just destiny? I think it was the latter…but now he IS the Three-Eyed Raven.

5. Jon Snow (Previously 4th)


Now that Jon is done being emo, he has a mission and direction. Albeit from his younger half-sister Sansa, but direction is good for a man who just came back from the dead. He also has both of Stannis’s closest advisors following him (one of which that can bring him back from the dead). The Sansa-Jon Tag-Team is one worth rooting for, even on a show that has warned us not to get too attached.

6. Cersei Lannister (Previously 3rd)


Cersei is ready for blood and a lot of it. She also has the Hand of the King, the Queen of Thorns, and the King himself under her thumb. Oh yeah, and Zombie Mountain to unleash upon the Sparrows FINALLY.

7. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 7th)


Meanwhile, Tyrion has evidently calmed down the violence in Meereen. Grey Worm gives him and Varys the report that the Sons of the Harpy have cooled down since they made their deal with the Masters and now they have to play the PR game. The propaganda side of the Meereen storyline is very interesting, especially if you want to compare it to what the United States itself has gone through, breaking away from England. You wonder though if he made the right choice entrusting a religious leader…We saw how that all went for his sister, Cersei.

8. Jaime Lannister (Previously 9th)


Cersei’s partner-in-crime on the Lannister revenge tour is loving his role in charge of the King’s Guard and plotting to attack on the High Sparrow. They’re using Margaery and even Lancel as motivation for Olenna and Kevan, but his is purely vengeance and he finally has the wherewithal to do something about it.

9. Ser Jorah (Previously 17th)

Ser Jorah

Jorah didn’t have much screen time but he left one hell of an impression. When Daenerys tells you to get cured, you best get cured. You can also tell how much more she cares about him than Daario too. But where does he go now?

My money is on the Citadel for a Samwell/Gilly team-up.

10. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 10th)


I’m pretty pumped to see Olenna Tyrell unleash her wrath with an army and not all cloak-and-dagger like she did with Joffrey. What happens though when the Lannister kids get what they want? She’s probably on their list too…

11. Zombie Mountain (Previously 19th)

Gregor Smash

Release the behemoth already.

12. High Sparrow (Previously 12th)

High Sparrow

I am anticipating this raid on his headquarters won’t go as cleanly as the Lannisters expect. There’s a chance they could all just be playing into his hand. He does have a lot of sway with the people of King’s Landing, which Kevan has mentioned before.

13. Ser Davos (Previously 8th)


Davos did a great job protecting Jon and bringing him back to life, then licked his wounds after hearing about Stannis and Shireen. Now he seems totally onboard with helping Jon and Sansa recruit a northern army. From what we’ve seen in the past, raising Stannis’s arming, he’s a valuable asset in that department.

14. Melisandre (Previously 10th)


In an episode where she didn’t say a word, we still learned more about Melisandre. We got to know her boss (scroll down) and what people think of her across the world, like Varys. She believes Jon is destined to rule, and that still could be true but in a different way than Daenerys. Still gives her purpose and that’s powerful thing on this show.

15. Brienne (Previously 5th)


I don’t necessarily like Brienne parting from Sansa, but we know they both can hold their own. When it comes to accomplishing missions, there’s nobody more determined than she is. There has to be something to her putting some doubt in Sansa’s mind regarding Davos and Melisandre…

This reaction to Tormund was the best though.

16. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 13th)


#WildlingFlirting at its finest.

17. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 15th)


Gotta love the relief of a Ramsay-less episode.

18. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 33rd)


Euron is like the love child of Sabertooth Liev Schreiber and Ewan McGregor.

His whole “debate” with Yara for the Kingsmoot was a lot like what I am imagining from Hillary/Trump debates, although he might have been more than effective. I actually don’t hate his plan to align with Daenerys, but I get a feeling his “hubris” is going to do him in.

“Let’s go murder them” might have been the worst/best line from this whole series.

19. Petyr Baelish (Previously 16th)

Petyr Baelish

Sansa served Littlefinger a steaming hot slice of humble pie and it might’ve been the most human we’ve ever seen him. He did pick himself back up quick, was back to being the sly fox he’s always been throwing in the “half-brother” bit about Jon. I still think he and the knights of the Vale are going to be the x-factor when Sansa/Jon vs. Ramsay finally goes down.

20. Varys (Previously 14th)


Sassy Varys is such an under-appreciated aspect of this show. His knowledge does give him power and that’s why I think so highly of him, but he got knocked back quite a bit after the following interaction…

21. Kinvara (Newbie) 


This is a high ranking for a for a newbie but Kinvara left quite an impression. It takes quite a lot to silence Varys and I don’t think Tyrion knows what he’s gotten himself into by enlisting her. She believes in Daenerys, which she makes clear multiple times in her introduction. What I’m wondering the most is though…

What happens when someone pulls the stone from around her neck? How much older is she than Melisandre?

22. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 23rd)

Jaqen 2.34.02 PM

We learned a little bit more about Jaqen, how the house came to be and that none of the Many-Faced God’s followers came from aristocracy. We still have more questions than answers about him and hope that latter comes soon.

23. Wun Wun (Previously 20th)

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I can’t wait for more Wun Wun gifs, honestly.

24. Daario Naharis (Previously 18th)


The most awkward character on the show award goes to…yep. That had to suck seeing Jorah profess his love for Daenerys and she totally go for it, huh Daario?

25. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 21st)


I loved the Lord Dolorous Edd’s “oh shit, I’m in charge” moment.

26. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 26th)


I feel bad for Tommen. Kid just wants his wife back and he’s getting played from all angles. He is the king though and he’s going to have to realize it soon before someone does him in like his brother Joffrey.

27. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 31st)


Ready the dragons! Momma’s coming home.

28. Ghost (Previously 32nd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.34.24 AM

Ghost has ANOTHER sibling to avenge, ugh. Dammit. That was pretty brutal.

29. Meera (Previously 49th)


MEERA CAN KILL WHITE WALKERS! HOLY SHIT! See what happens when you get off your freezing ass…

30. Queen Margaery (Previously 54th)


We’ve left her toward the back of this list for too long. I’m a little worried about her safety during this raid, but Margaery is resourceful and a survivor. She’s “Helen of Troy” for Olenna and Tommen. I can see her helping her odds during the attack as well, perhaps getting some revenge on the High Sparrow or Septa.

31. Kevan Lannister (Previously 38th)


Kevan is following his niece’s lead to get his son back, but I think he’s going to come away from this whole thing REALLY disappointed…

32. Missandei (Previously 34th)


There are two sides rising right now, the Starks and Daenerys. Daenerys’s is a bit less trusting of each other but Missandei seems to understand what Tyrion and Varys are doing in her absence.

33. Grey Worm (Previously 35th)


Grey Worm is likely less onboard than Missandei but he goes where she and Daenerys do. The results seemed to convince him a little better too, after the deal with the Masters

34. Arya Stark (Previously 24th)


Arya, sorry…No Name seemed to be picking up moment to her story, but then it went back to quicksand as she appears to still be learning things. Hopefully her new mission gets the Braavos storyline back going again.

35. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 22nd)


Well, that whole Kingsmoot thing didn’t go according to plan…Evidently Yara still has loyalists though, including her brother. My hope is that the Greyjoys make a run for wherever either Jon and Sansa or Brienne are heading.

36. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 25th)


Don’t lie. You were proud of Theon standing up for his sister with that nice speech. It helps that he knows his way around Westeros as well as anyone and has pull with Sansa.

Question though: Why didn’t the cheers he got during his speech count as enough for Yara getting the crown? That whole Kingsmoot voting process was bullshit.

37. Qyburn (Previously 39th)


Think Qyburn’s got some tricks to share with the Lannisters and Zombie Mountain for their upcoming raid?

38. Podrick Payne (Previously 37th)


Pod and Brienne back out on their own again. Personally, I think it ups his value but I’m waiting to see his next surprise.

39. Waif (Previously 51st)


Gawd, enough with the stick fights! Apparently she can still kick Arya’s ass, even when she can see…and without a stick. Stick to that, please. (See what I did there?)

40. Drogon (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.42.10 AM

My hope is that Daenerys runs back into Drogon on the way back to Meereen. That would be nice…and reassuring that he’s okay.

41. Ellaria Sand (Previously 29th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.30.59 AM

Call me when Dorne is relevant again.

42. Tyene Sand (Previously 40th)



43. Nymeria Sand (Previously 41st)



44. Obara Sand (Previously 42nd)



45. Robin Arryn (Previously 43rd)


You’d think he’d be mad about Sansa rejecting Littlefinger’s help but I don’t think he really cares…about anything.

46. Yohn Royce (Previously 57th)


If the Vale helps anyone in the upcoming Northern war, Royce seems like a difference maker as a commander in that instance. He’s just lucky not to be thrown out the Moon Roof at this point, so he could do some redeeming.

47. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 44th)


Way to help your niece and nephew out when Euron called for the “murder party”, jerk.

48. Smalljon Umber (Previously 45th)


We got some clarity on where Umber stands, or more so his standing with Sansa and Jon. They’re pretty prepared to let him rot for turning over Rickon.

49. Harald Karstark (Previously 46th)


Harald, on the other hand, just became much more interesting…at least his family name is. Sansa believes the Karstark’s could be swayed, now that she and Jon are gunning for Ramsay. Harald may get left behind by his own kin, or will just fall in line if they realign with the Starks.

50. Rickon Stark (Previously 47th)


Hang in there, little buddy.

51. Gilly (Previously 52nd)


I get a bad feeling Gilly is going to be pissed with Sam when she meets his family.

52. Samwell Tarley (Previously 53rd)


For the reason above…sorry, Sam.

53. Zanrush (Newbie)


I have no idea what this guy’s importance is, but being Kinvara’s guy could have some perks.

54. Bronn (Previously 55th)

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Can we put Bronn on a milk carton now? File for missing person’s or something?


55. Lhazareen (Previously 50th)


Still waiting on the Missandei jealousy stare.

56. Septa Unella (Previously 58th)

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She’s so dead…

57. Lancel Lannister (Previously 59th)

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…him too.

58. Lady Crane (Newbie)

Lady Crane

Big question mark this woman’s importance. Who wants her dead and why? Oh wait, a servant can’t ask questions.

59. Ser Loras Tyrell (Previously 60th)



60. Mace Tyrell (Previously 61st)



61. Maester Pycelle (Previously 62nd)


*Fart noise*

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Game of Thrones Pre-Season 6 Power Rankings

The closer we get to Game of Thrones S6, the more necessary it is to get talking about what’s to come. This season I’ll be keeping a power ranking of the many characters with significance to the plot. Below is “Pre-Season” ranking of characters who either did or may have survived the past season, as well as their importance for what’s to come. Season 6 will premiere April 24th, 2016.

Obviously a number of spoilers will be mentioned here, so don’t read the descriptions if you haven’t caught up on the series yet. 

1. Jon Snow

Jon Snow PR

There was no character talked about or speculated over more than Jon Snow. I had initially written this list (with 10 more characters) before the S5 finale and Jon was on the top of my rankings then. Nobody did more right, especially when he executed Janos Slynt with his own sword, but was still betrayed for it. What’s next is still a mystery and that makes him more compelling than anyone else.

2. Daenerys Targeryian

Daenerys PR

Daenerys’s rule in Meereen was parallel to Jon’s reign as Lord Commander. It took her a little longer to get the hang of imposing her power and they may have been her downfall when the Sons of the Harpy made their move. She put together a solid council of trust with Tyrion and Daario, and continues to build her army in the least suspecting ways…Oh, and she still has the badass MF’n dragons.

3. Tyrion Lannister

Tyrion PR

Whatever the redeeming qualities of a Lannister are, Tyrion embodies them. It’s those qualities of honor and a little bit of diplomacy that helped him survive traveling a world away from Kings Landing, while also forming the Thrones version of D-Generation X with Daenerys. With the Khaleesi away, he’s the only one in Meereen with experience of managing/ruling a city.

4. Night’s King

Night's King PR

You saw “Hardhome”, right?

5. Samwell Tarley

Samwell PR

Sam went from being virtually unable to do a thing to “White Walker Slayer”. Standing by Jon for as long as he did and standing up for Gilly to his fellow “brothers of the watch” make him about as pure as any character on the show. Along with his growing bravery, you have to imagine Sam’s meister-esque skills are going to come in handy too.

6. Jaime Lannister

Jamie Lannister PR

I’m not sure if there’s a character that has evolved quite like Jaime. The shorter his hair gets, the less douchebag’ish he becomes. Taking down Ned Stark long ago is going to come with consequences, but the loyalty and honor he showed Brienne and Tyrion made you almost forget that happened. He’s going to be looking for blood though after spending all S5 trying to bring home Myrcella, and then losing her. Should be some clashing with Cersei over that…and the Martells.

7. Petyr Baelish

Game of Thrones

Petyr Baelish reminds you why it’s called “Game of Thrones”, and in a way he’s winning at it. Two comparisons to the actor Aiden Gillen’s work: Little Finger is like Marlo Stanfield (The Wire) in the way he gains power with cunning and blood. And similar to Bane, he’s necessary evil.

8. Ser Jorah

Game of Thrones

After losing all favor from Daenerys, Ser Jorah is charging back like a man with nothing to lose (because of the grey scale) and in love (duh). Probably want to stay out of his way.

9. Daario Naharis

Daario PR

Daario’s intentions have always been a little suspicious to me. Obviously an expert assassin and has wooed Daenerys, but I feel like I’m waiting for the other mercenary show to drop…perhaps with the slave owner-sympathizing Sons of the Harpy. He comes off as a bit of a frontrunner that way.

10. Tormund

Game of Thrones

Tormund is all firy ginger badass and now has the weight of his people on those super broad shoulders. With his “Crow” ally going down, he’s going to be left with handling the rest of the double-crossing crows.

11. Arya Stark

Arya PR

Arya’s body count is super impressing. Killing Ser Meryn may have been her most impressive move yet, but now she’s dealing with some weird Jedi training that has caused her to go blind. Does that make her more dangerous or calm her down? I assume the former.

12. High Sparrow

High Sparrow PR

Impressively taking down 3 high ranking members of the royal family with the help of his extremist following makes the High Sparrow a very dangerous and powerful figure in Kings Landing. The King himself, Tommen, let him has his way with his mother and wife…We’ll see how that goes over in Season 6.

13. Bronn

Bronn PR

Being charming, funny, and driven (for the right price) have helped Bronn battle through some impossible odds. It’s probably that charm that saved him after being poisoned by the Sand Snakes. I would rank him 2nd most skilled among the higher “guns”, next to Daario.

14. Gilly

Gilly PR

Gilly’s been through some serious shit. So alongside Samwell Tarley, she’s done putting up with anyone’s shit, especially when she has to raise a baby too. That combination make her much more admirable than many of the characters on this list.

15. Brienne

Brienne PR

Brienne can clearly kick nearly anybody’s ass on the show (see the battle with The Hound). However, sitting and waiting on Sansa for as long as she did, only to bail when it mattered most was really disheartening. I do hope she FINALLY catches up with Sansa to properly protect her, because none of her promises to Catelyn Stark regarding her children have worked out yet.

16. Ser Davos

Ser Davos PR

Ser Davos is going to have some Wyatt Erp type rage when he learns about both Shireen and Stannis. I don’t think he’ll be satisfied until he has Melisandre’s head on a pike. Davos is resourceful and can lead an army. He may have either the Wildlings or Night’s Watch to work with when he settles somewhere, along with his pirate connections.

17. Lord Varys

Lord Varys PR

I have a feeling Varys will be much higher on this list before long. Like Baelish, he’s playing the game, albeit more honorably. He has spies everywhere too and I’m very certain he orchestrated getting Tyrion to Meereen, knowing full-well that Jorah could get him there.

18. Drogon

Drogon PR

Drogon is certainly the hot head of his dragon siblings, but he’s also far and away the most dangerous. Daenerys would have been Caesar’ed by the Harpy if it weren’t for Drogon, and he’s really the embodiment of her power.

19. Three-Eyed Raven

Three-Eyed Raven PR

This crazy all-seeing character that will be played by the excellent Max Von Sydow is too mysterious to rank higher, but perhaps too powerful to rank lower. He tells Bran that he could eventually fly and that makes me want to ready the popcorn.

20. Hodor

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Hodor. Hode…Hodor.

21. Bran Stark

Bran PR

Bran’s had a full year away from the screen to work on powers, while also likely getting old enough for us not to recognize him. You get the feeling he could be very high in these rankings by the end of Season 6…that is if the Three-Eyed Raven hype is real.

22. Queen of Thorns

Game of Thrones

I think we all know now that she had something to do with Joffrey’s death, and her demeanor certainly suggests there’s a power play in motion to spring her grandchildren out of the Sparrow’s keep…I would also tell the rest of the Lannister’s to look out as well.

23. Stannis Baratheon

Stannis PR

This is my favorite GIF from all of last season. Stannis makes this list without real confirmation that Brienne finished him on the battlefield, but I wouldn’t be shocked if she had. So much to feel conflicted about regarding Stannis. He was obviously played by Melisandre. He ran his army like a true general and had every right to the throne, knowing what we do about the Lannisters. Burning your own daughter alive for selfish gain is still unforgivable though.

24. Jaqen H’ghar

Jaqen H'ghar PR

I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THIS GUY IS! And that’s what makes him so interesting.

25. Cersei Lannister

Cersei PR

Through the first few seasons, Cersei would have been very low on this list. She gave you every reason to hate her. But then when she was finally getting hers, I sympathized with her. How did you do that, Game of Thrones? I especially loved every threat she made toward the Nurse Ratched Sparrow nun. She’s going to exact plenty of revenge with her new Zombie Mountain too.

26. Zombie Mountain

Mountain PR

…as I was saying.

27. Ghost

Ghost PR

Don’t fuck with this Direwolf.

28. Sansa Stark

Sansa PR

Every bad thing that has happened to the Starks, Sansa represents that. We saw her make some serious power moves, and some that just ended horrifically. She’s out of Ramsey’s grasp, for now, and we just need her to align with the right forces for once. Greyjoys? Stannis or Stark sympathizers? Resurrected Jon Snow?! Come on!

29. Podrick

Pod PR

Podrick is the purest of characters on the show and ridiculously loyal. I don’t know if that will keep him alive, but hey…it’s pretty damn admirable. Helps that he’s alongside Brienne.

30. Melisandre


Setting up Stannis, burning Shireen, making demon babies…Not a lot redeeming about Melisandre…except for the part where she could potentially resurrect Jon Snow, and we’re all hoping for that. She’s had her eye on Jon for a while, so *gulp*.

31. Lady Margaery

Marjorie PR

Margaery is so charming and obviously playing the game herself, so you know she has another agenda altogether…But I’m excited to see what the Queen of Thorns has planned to set her free and how much longer she’ll need to have Tommen wrapped around her finger.

32. Tyene Sand

Tyene Sand PR

Tyene is the one Sand sister that stuck out. “The most beautiful woman in the world” dominated Bronn, in her own unique way, and i don’t think we’ve seen the last of those two crossing paths again.

33. Tommen

Tommen PR

The “He’s not Joffrey” point is loud and clear here. He is a bit of a wet blanket, but he’s king of the wet blankets.

34. Eddison Tollett

Eddison Tollett PR

Eddison is the last of the notable Night’s Watch, besides Sam, to fight by Jon’s side. I don’t necessarily see that changing after their experiences fighting beyond the wall, on the wall and in Hardhome.

35. Missandei

Missandei PR

Missandei was Daenerys’s voice to her people and that goes a long way. Should continue as she works with Tyrion while Daenerys is away.

36. Grey Worm

Grey Worm PR

When you see Grey Worm in the next season, and especially in scenes with Missandei, picture George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” playing in the background. Seriously. Do it.

37. Wildling Giant

Giant PR

I hope he does this to Olly.

38. Doran Martell

Doren PR

Doren treated Jamie Lannister pretty fairly, and certainly Ellaria too fairly. But there seems to be a grander scheme with him sending Trystain to Kings Landing. There may be a vendetta for Oberyn that’s being masked by his calm demeanor.

39. Areo Hotah

Areo Hotah

Big man can move, that’s for sure. Would love to see him get a crack at Zombie Mountain.

40. Trystain Martell

Trystain PR

Trystain worked his way onto the King’s council, with some negotiating by Jaime and Doren. If he was in on Mycella’s murder though, that’s cold blooded.

41. Meera Reed

Meera PR

Also been away with Bran, Hodor and “The Children” for a year. Probably stewing over the death of her brother. I have no idea what to expect from her, but I imagine it will be violent.

42. Kevan Lannister

Kevan Lannister PR

Currently, the new Hand with plenty of battle experience. He seems smart and savvy like Tywinn, but I’m not sure how much that will matter. It will be interesting to see if he keeps supporting the Boltons.

43. Waif

Waif PR

Waif is mean and mysterious. She’ll likely be helping Arya train more, super reluctantly.

44. Obara Sand

Obara Sand PR

I don’t know, did she say or do much?

45. Nymeria Sand

Nymeria PR

…at least she did this. The Sand Snakes were less consequential than I had hoped. I’m expecting more with Trystain in Kings Landing.

46. Malko

Malko PR

Malko probably has no real plot significance going forward, but he does have a connection to Tyrion and possibly with Davos (pirate thing). Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is too good an actor, in my opinion, for that small a role.

47. Loras Tyrell

Loras Tyrell PR

Loras got cocky (literally). I feel a lot better about Margaery’s future than his.

48. Reek/Theon Greyjoy

Theon Greyjoy PR

I have to admit, I rooted for EVERY bad thing Ramsay did to Theon. When he didn’t step up for Sansa, I wanted worse things to happen to him…until he finally did.

49. Ellaria Sand

Ellaria Sand PR

Oberyn once said, “We don’t hurt little girls in Dorne.” Well, you broke his word, Ellaria. You’re going to have to pay for that.

50. Roose Bolton

Roose PR

There’s a reckoning coming for Roose and his old pal Walder Frey. How it comes will be fun to speculate.

51. Lancel Lannister

Lancel PR

Lancel is just another empowered asshole with a bad forehead brand-tattoo. Don’t expect his Lannister kin to sympathize when things go sideways for him.

52. Olyvar

Olyvar PR

Selling out Loras gets you zero brownie points.

53. Mace Tyrell

Mace Tyrell PR

Quite possibly the most useless character on the show so far. He has done nothing of consequence at all.

54. Ser Alliser

Ser Alliser PR

Ser Alliser was showing signs at different points of an admirable character, but plotting a mutiny against the Lord Commander that only tried to build your forces is pretty selfish and shortsighted.

55. Olly

Olly PR

Again, let the giant rip this kid in two.

56. Ramsay Snow/Bolton

Ramsay PR

The fucking worst. All expletives necessary.

Anyone too high or too low? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter!





Bears of Thrones

As Free Agency kicked off a week ago, the Chicago Bears made it clear that Jay Cutler will be on their roster in 2015. Pro Bowl guard and 3rd year veteran Kyle Long went as far as declaring his allegiance to his quarterback…

And so, Cutler was dubbed the #OneTrueKingOfTheNorth.  It’s no secret that I am a huge geek…or obsessed with Thrones. So thanks to Long’s Tweet, I will take it a step further and align the 2015 Bears with characters from Game of Thrones (That’ll be stuck in your head forever). WARNING: MILD SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T CAUGHT UP ON THE SHOW. CONTINUE IF YOU DARE.

Jay Cutler / Stannis Baratheon

image1 Long has set the tone with his allegiance and it makes all the sense in the world (of Westeros). Cutler had knocked on the gates of a Super Bowl birth before he was knocked out with a torn MCL against the “Lannisters” of the NFC North, the Green Bay Packers. Sound familiar? Stannis Baratheon was dealt a similar hand at the Battle of Blackwater, blown away by a similar “Green” explosion.

Blackwater Packers

Neither Cutler nor Stannis are very likable to the public. Both can be viewed as underestimated to their opponents, but command loyalty from those closest to them. And you best believe Cutler has slayed some Wildlings in his day… (Picture this being the Vikings)

Slaying Wildlings

Kyle Long / Jon Snow

image2 Most Thrones geeks probably assumed I would have gone with Davos Seaworth, Stannis Baratheon’s righthand man, but I felt Long deserved a much more badass comparison…and there are some strong correlations. Long comes from a family rich in football prowess. While not a bastard, he is the son of a well respected warrior of the game (like Ned Stark). Kyle’s brother, Chris, built a reputation as one of the league’s elite defensive players before he came onto the scene. One hopes Chris doesn’t attend any shady arranged weddings in the near future. And Long has stepped up to lead his position group to protect his quarterback, much like the Night’s Watch at the wall.

Alshon Jeffery / Daenerys Targaryan

image3 Now hear me out, Alshon… Like Daenerys, Jeffery has proven naysayers wrong over the course of his young professional career. He was underrated in the draft, similar to when Daenerys acquired her Unsullied army from “The Masters” of Astapor. Jeffery’s skills and work ethic that helped him ascend to Pro Bowl status are like the Khaleesi’s dragons doing this to everyone in her path…

Jeffery has an opportunity to prove he is a #1 wide receiver like Daenerys, who is gunning for the throne of the seven kingdoms.

Alshon Browns catch

Matt Forte / Jamie Lannister

image4 Incest aside, Matt Forte and Jamie Lannister can be considered comparable for their accomplishments. Forte has always been a workhouse and a consistent weapon for the Bears offense and for multiple head coaches while Jamie served as captain of the Kingsguard under multiple kings. Both are getting up in age and have dealt with their share of injuries (Jamie losing his hand is a lot more severe than anything Forte has dealt with), but have plenty to offer still. Oh, and Bears…

Thrones Bear gif

Martellus Bennett / Tyrion Lannister

image6 Like Tyrion is to all of Game of Thrones, Martellus Bennett is a unique individual on the Bears roster. Both have a great sense of humor. Neither care what others think of them. And when the moment counts most, they can get the job done in the clutch. Bennett will come up with the big play against a division rival…

Marty GW TD

…and Tyrion will rally his troops against impending doom.

Eddie Royal / Barristan Selmy

image5 Neither Eddie Royal or Barristan Selmy are flashy names, but they are helpful pieces to their respective teams and both are quality free agent signings. I mentioned how Jeffery is like Daenerys already…Royal’s skill set can potentially make Jeffery better by forcing team’s to respect the slot more. That pulls coverage away from Jeffery that would allow him to shine, just like Barristan providing council to Daenerys. image7 Proven veterans who both could use a bounce back season. Jermon Bushrod is Pro Bowl left tackle who had difficulties blocking in year 2 of his Bears tenure. Sir Jorah was recently cast away by Daenerys for losing her trust. Both were meant to play big parts in achieving greatness, whether it be a Super Bowl or control of the Iron Throne, and both have the ability to make a comeback.

Jared Allen / The Hound

image8 Outside of similar appearances, both Jared Allen and The Hound are defectors of their longstanding teams. Allen (former Viking) and Sandor Clegane (formerly employed by the Lannisters) are also looking to return to form and regain the feared reputation they both once had.

Pernell McPhee / The Mountain


In his Bears introductory press conference, Pernell McPhee was asked to describe himself.

“I’m violent.” And that was it.

Pernell sack

Also violent and a man of few words, meet Gregor Clegane…

The Mountain

Ego Ferguson / Hodor

image10 Transitioning to a 3-4 defense, the Bears need to identify a nose tackle to eat space up the middle. Hodor would be an AWESOME 0-technique…and Ego Ferguson also seems to fit the bill as well. I’d also like to hear Ferguson do an entire interview just saying “Ego.”

Willie Young / Daario Naharis

image11 In his first year with the Bears, Willie Young was a quarterback assassin. Daario is not very different, playing deadly mercenary for Team Targaryen. Hoping Young can return fully healed, and in Vic Fangio’s 3-4 system, let’s hope to see more of this…

Daario GIF

Followed by this…

Willie Sack dance

Antrel Rolle / Davos Seaworth

image12 Antrel Rolle is another new Bears addition but there are two things he brings to the defensive side of the ball: Loyalty and Leadership. It’s been very cool to hear Rolle speak on his experience in New York and it sounds a lot like what Davos brings to Stannis Baratheon’s camp. Loyal to a fault, not afraid to speak his mind, a warrior, and adaptable.

Antrel Rolle

Kyle Fuller / Bran Stark

image15 Unlike Bran Stark, Kyle Fuller still has the use of legs. But LIKE Bran, Fuller has the potential for big things. After an excellent first month in the league, Fuller had a tough rest of the season. He was forced into a starting cornerback role after Charles Tillman was ruled out for the season and had a quick “Welcome to the League” experience against the league’s best wide receivers. Fuller has the skills and makeup to improve though, and you can’t help but get excited for what’s next…like Bran Stark.

Jon Bostic / Arya Stark

image13 Sure, on the outside the two are nothing alike…but think about it. Jon Bostic has been out of position for most of career, mis-casted as a middle linebacker and a strongside linebacker when he was best suited for weakside linebacker. Arya Stark was raised to be proper and in a world of aristocrats while she is truly meant to handle a sword. Both play with a chip on their shoulder and strike like they have some serious anger issues. Don’t be surprised if both have breakout seasons in new positions coming up.

Bostic hit

Have some more Football & Thrones comparisons on your mind? Or maybe you just want to geek out some more about sports and TV? Let me know on Twitter @Mike_PiFF03