Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep9 “Tell Your People What Happened Here”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

The penultimate episode of each Game of Thrones season is always one worth circling on your calendar. Ned’s death, Blackwater, The Red Wedding and “Watchers on the Wall” laid down the track record of anxiety inducing, reactionary video filming, edge-of-your-seat watching television.  “Battle of the Bastards” met the hype and was payoff for the longtime Game of Thrones fans who stayed loyal, after so many favorite characters were brutalized before their very eyes.

Two years ago, I went and saw “Watchers on The Wall” and “The Children” from Season 4 back-to-back in an IMAX movie theater. “Battle of The Bastards” should be getting similar treatment leading up to Season 7. How often did you catch yourself making involuntary noises from your couch? I cheered and screamed louder than I normally do watching my favorite football team play, it was that good.

Game of Thrones went Peter Jackson and maybe beyond with the quality of this battle.

Battle of the Bastards

…and we thank them for it.

This week’s Power Rankings are made in Loving Memory of Wun Wun.

 

1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)

Daenerys BOTB

“Dracarys” is the new Mortal Kombat-style “Fatality!”

I did not expect the resolution to the siege in Meereen to come so quickly, but I’m very glad it did. We’ve waited 6 years to see the damage that Dany’s dragons could inflict and there it was on full display. While she and her babies provided the death from above, her Khalasar took care of the ground game by cleaning the streets stained by the Sons of the Harpy.

I also did not expect her to be so civil with Tyrion after the Masters went back on his deal. A year ago, she likely would have given Tyrion the “Jorah Treatment” and shunned him. She’s obviously grown to the people around her and trusting Tyrion’s expertise helps way more than hurts. Oh, and she now has her ships…

2. Sansa Stark (Previously 6th)

Sansa BOTB

Sansa’s “slow-walk and smile” while Ramsay’s dogs gave him a taste of his own medicine was even better than Beyonce’s “Lemonade” special.

After years of abuse and torture, Sansa is now the true Warden of the North. In a season full of big wins, Sansa’s was the biggest. And although Jon led the charge and fought like hell to reach Ramsay, it was Sansa’s raven to Littlefinger that made it all possible.

3. Jon Snow (Previously 5th)

Jon Snow BOTB

Jon disregarded Sansa’s advice by chasing after Rickon. He went heart first into battle, clearly without the numbers, and almost fell into another Ramsay trap. Yet he still cut down everyone in his path, survived the most claustrophobic situations ever, and beat the living shit out of that bastard in his own home.

If Jon already had a reputation for being the best swordsman in the North, imagine what people think of him now. Where will he turn his attention to now? Uniting the North? The Freys in Riverrun? King’s Landing?…Most likely Winter.

4. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 20th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.23.39 PM

Tyrion inherited a pretty awful situation when Daenerys left, and he pointed out to her what all he accomplished while she was gone…as the city was burning. The fact Daenerys still recognized it and took Tyrion’s advice before unleashing Hell on the Masters places him on a higher pedestal than either his siblings back at King’s Landing. Neither of them were second in command to a Dragon Queen.

Also appreciated the extra sass he threw Theon’s way. That stuff doesn’t get old.

5. Petyr Baelish (Previously 15th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.51.42 PM

Twice now Petyr Baelish has bailed Sansa out and helped defeat her abusers. His plan seems to be back on track. It’s kinda scary to imagine what the endgame is and that might be Sansa’s next issue. For the time being though, he has the Starks’ strongest weapon.

6. Jaime Lannister (Previously 3rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.55.40 PM

Jaime being cast out from King’s Landing might be the best thing for him. He has his army, and alliance with the Freys (whatever that’s worth) and Riverrun. Walder’s toast in the teaser “The Freys and Lannisters send their regards” may prove to be a kiss of death though…for both houses.

7. Ser Davos (Previously 7th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.41.49 PM

Davos held his own in the battle and survived. He even sent the cavalry after Jon as he charged the 6,000 man army by himself. After the win, Davos doesn’t appear to be in the celebrating mood. After finding Shireen’s toy that he made for her, he’s put together the pieces of what Melisandre did before reaching Castle Black. He’s been in the spot before, with Stannis. Will Jon and Sansa side with Davos or will history repeat itself.

8. The Night King (Previously 2nd)

Night's King

There is a full understanding of how powerful the Night King is. Lack of action lets him slide a little after a big episode for the good guys. I doubt he’ll be on the down low for long…

9. Drogon (Previously 17th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.01.52 PM

Even just seeing Drogon in the distance before he crashed the Masters’ insult party made me cheer like the Bears won the Super Bowl. His bond with Daenerys showed just how deadly they both can be…

10. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 25th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.03.06 PM

…and even deadlier with these two.

11. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 19th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.45.57 PM

It was amazing how Tormund and his people looked ridiculously close to their end with the Bolton spears pointed at them, and then he’s beating Lord Umber’s ear off and stabbing him in the face an instant later.

12. Bran Stark (Previously 8th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.56.14 PM

While it’s good to be a Stark (for once), Bran knows firsthand that there’s a lot of work to do. The sooner he fully understands his powers, the better…for everyone.

13. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 49th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.24.08 PM

The next biggest power move to Sansa and Jon taking Winterfell back was Yara and Theon somehow getting to Meereen before Euron…and with 100 ships?! Where did they get 100 ships?

Yara went from being an outcast to the Iron Islands to being teamed up with the most powerful person in the Seven Kingdoms. She also was not shy about hitting on the Mother of Dragons either, which was charming.

14. Grey Worm (Previously 28th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.05.59 PM

Sweet psych out, Grey Worm. Giving the Masters’ soldiers a choice to go home was a nice touch too.

15. The Hound (Previously Previously 10th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.40.03 PM

I don’t know what Ser Beric has in store for The Hound, but it will likely involve lots and lots of violence. He also appears to be the only person the undead Beric fears too.

16. The Mountain (Previously 11th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 3.00.53 PM

Cersei’s not going down without fight against The High Sparrow and her own son, the King. As far as we know, he’s her best shot and he’ll take anyone out who gets in her way.

17. Arya Stark (Previously 13th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.48.51 PM

Arya’s going to be in for a pleasant surprise when she returns to Westeros. She’ll be able to use her family’s name too, at least in the North. 2 questions though:

  1. Where in Westeros is she heading?
  2. Are the Faceless Men following?

18. The High Sparrow (Previously 4th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.55.03 PM

I’ve kept The High Sparrow pretty high for a while this season. With the Starks back in power, Jaime getting stronger/more defiant, Daenerys being on her way and Cersei putting the Targaryen Wildfire to use…his power looks less and less impressive.

19. Queen Margaery (Previously 9th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.37.23 AM

Margaery is playing the long game with the High Sparrow and Tommen, and she’s still loyal to her brother. When shit hits the fan in the finale, will she get out of Cersei’s way or burn with the rest?

20. Benjen Stark (Previously 12th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 3.55.18 PM

Benjen would proud of what Jon has accomplished, ya know…getting laid, coming back from the dead and ENDING the Boltons. But his attention and particular set of skills are being directed toward the impending White Walker invasion. Understandable.

21. Daario Naharis (Previously 24th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 11.59.20 AM

You have to love Daario leading the khalasar into Meereen, chopping off Harpy heads right and left. His efforts have mostly eliminated all the doubt I had of his allegiance. Judging by the teaser for the finale, Daenerys is going to let us know her thoughts on the matter too.

22. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 50th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.22.18 PM

Theon’s been a solid “campaign manager” for  Yara, helping her team-up with Daenerys. He may have an even more important role though. When Daenerys makes her move on Westeros, Theon could help the cause because of her relationship with Sansa. Tyrion’s kindness to Sansa in the past would go a long way, but Theon endured Ramsay too.

23. Brienne (Previously 22nd)

Brienne

Good for Brienne that the Blackfish situation didn’t make or break the Battle of the Bastards. The Starks need allies now though, so she might want to hurry back to Winterfell before things escalate again.

Wait, Tormund’s going to be waiting there…She can take her time.

24. Missandei (Previously 35th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.09.21 PM

Loved how Missandei stood silent while the Masters discussed their “terms” and they planned to sell her again. She sat there knowing exactly how it was all going to go down and got to deliver the news to them that one (really two) of them were going to die. Then walking past the surviving Master, like he was nothing, was more than perfect.

25. Cersei Lannister (Previously 21st)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.54.34 PM

Hell is coming to breakfast in King’s Landing, and Cersei is cooking up a storm of Wildfire…I hope.

26. Varys (Previously 25th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 1.33.45 PM

I would like to see where Varys intended to go to find help for Dany’s cause. I’m hoping it’s Winterfell, which would make for a funny reunion with Littlefinger.

27. Beric Dondarrion (Previously 30th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.38.26 PM

I am really hoping Beric gives the Hound some work before the season is up. There are two people who get brought back to life (as far as we know) on this show. Beric is the one who seems to get that more than Jon.

28. Thoros of Myr (Previously 31st)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.45.43 PM

Of those capable of bringing people back to life, Thoros has the most practice…and he’s the least vague about his purpose too.

29. Ghost (Previously 33rd)

Ghost gif

I know a lot of people are upset that Ghost didn’t get to participate in the battle, but shouldn’t we just be glad he’s okay? It’s been a rough go for Direwolves this season and I do not think he would’ve faired well in real medieval battle.

30. Lyanna Mormont (Previously 36th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.11.37 PM

The “Lyanna’s Not Impressed” Meme definitely outdoes Obara Sand’s.

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 5.52.11 PM

31. Qyburn (Previously 42nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.06.41 PM

Qyburn is just so excited to bring chaos to King’s Landing. Let’s just hope he’s there when Maester Pycelle goes down with it.

32. Bronn (Previously 32nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 1.52.47 PM

Bronn’s on a pretty nice track right now, aligned with Jaime. I don’t think everyone’s particularly safe hanging with the Freys, but I trust him and Jaime to get out of most situations.

33. Tommen (Previously 26th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.04.51 PM

Tommen is king but he seems to have sealed his fate by turning on his mother. “The 7” can’t save you from a mother scorn.

34. Kevan Lannister (Previously 27th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.02.39 PM

What’s the average tenure for the Hand of the King on this show? Not particularly long, I don’t think…

35. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 45th)

Edd

Edd has gotta be so glad that Jon won at Winterfell. Otherwise he would have a much tougher time defending the Wall and dealing with Ramsay.

36. Robin Arryn (Previously 37th)

Robin

He didn’t seem to be present at Winterfell, alongside Littlefinger and Sansa, but his army did save the Starks from their doom.

37. Yohn Royce (Previously 39th)

Royce

Also wasn’t seen on screen, but he is the Lord Commander of the Vale horsemen who came charging in like the Riders of Rohan.

38. Jaqen H’ghar (Previously 46th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.54.41 PM

The more I think about how Arya left the temple of the Many-Faced God, I become more convinced that everything went according to plan for the STILL mysterious Jaqen. The Faceless Men want to influence Westeros and Arya appears to be their weapon for it.

39. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 23rd)

Euron

Seriously. You have the Iron Island fleet at your disposal and still couldn’t beat out your niece and nephew to Daenerys? Hard to believe that Euron will go down easily. Could be Big Bad in the next season.

40. Walder Frey (Previously 54th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.55.30 PM

Everything’s coming up Walder Frey these days, right? I have a feeling someone else will be sending “their regards” when all is said and done in the Season 6 finale.

41. Edmure Tully (Previously 29th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.17.57 PM

Edmure’s fortunes changed immensely after being let back into Riverrun. He is the Lord there, but how loyal are his men after he gave their castle up so easily?

42. Jorah Mormont (Previously 44th)

Ser Jorah

I will continue to beat on this drum until something else happens:

A Jorah – Samwell/Gilly team-up is coming. Hopefully sooner than later so Jorah can get cured.

43. Kinvara (Previously 43rd)

Kinvara

The High Priestess, who helped bring order back to Meereen, was MIA while it was being attacked. She believes in Daenerys and has seen visions of her rise to power. How much does Daenerys believe in her?

44. Melisandre (Previously 34th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.41.00 PM

Melisandre is about to face serious Davos shit-storm. We’ll find out how Jon handles the situation. He doesn’t appear as sold on “The Lord of Light” and destiny as Stannis was…even if it brought him back to life.

45. Meera (Previously 47th)

Meera

Hope Meera learns a thing or two from Benjen. He should know her father very well, who fought alongside Ned.

46. Podrick Payne (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 1.53.30 PM

After hearing Pod refer to his training from Brienne, and some sneaky pointers from Bronn, you wonder if he’ll be applying that training before the season is over.

47. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 55th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.44.18 AM

Olenna knows that both Margaery and Cersei each have something planned when the trial happens. If she hasn’t left King’s Landing, it would be beneficial for her to play mediator to help them both. I don’t think she really cares what happens to Cersei though.

48. Samwell Tarly (Previously 51st)

Samwell 1.25.56 PM

Samwell sword action needs to happen this week.

49. Gilly (Previously 52nd)

Gilly

I hope Gilly kept this dress.

50. Ellaria Sand (Previously 60th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.30.59 AM

The Sand Snakes helped start the season…

51. Tyene Sand (Previously 61st)

Tyene

…will they help close it?

52. Nymeria Sand (Previously 62nd)

Nymera

Will I ever get to update this photo?

53. Obara Sand (Previously 63rd)

Obara

I’m never updating this one.

 

54. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 56th)

Aeron

Yara said she had some uncles to kill and Daenerys will happily oblige. That doesn’t bode well for Aeron.

55. Lothar Frey (Previously 58th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.49.34 AM

If the Frey party gets crashed, Lothar is surely going to die.

56. Walder Rivers (Previously 59th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.16.47 PM

Walder will die first though, and Jaime may be the one to end him…just because.

57. Robett Glover (Previously 53rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.11.16 AM

So Robett…the Starks you turned your back on just won the Bastard Bowl. They are also the Wardens of your territory now.

This must be awkward.

58. Melessa Tarly (Previously 65th)

Melessa

We all know who wears the pants in the Tarly household…

59. Randyll Tarly (Previously 66th)

Randyl

…but I’m pretty sure Randyll sent a search party for Samwell.

60. Talla Tarly (Previously 67th)

Talla

Your  weekly reminder that Talla was hushed when mentioning the guy she is set to marry…and that might matter.

61. Dickon Tarly (Previously 68th)

Dickon

#BroDickon is gonna #BroDickon.

62. Lancel Lannister (Previously 69th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 1.48.43 PM

This might be my third time predicting that Lancel is about to die. Third time’s a charm, right?

63. Septa Unella (Previously 64th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.34.54 AM

In a perfect world, both Margaery and Cersei get to beat the Septa down in the worst way possible.

64. Yezzan zo Qaggaz (Previously NR)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.48.45 PM

“Tell your people what happened here.”

The fact Yezzan didn’t sellout one of his fellow Masters like they did to him is probably why he isn’t dead.

65. Ser Loras (Previously 71st)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.18.02 AM

#ThoughtsAndPrayers for Lancel.

66. Harald Karstark (Previously 41st)

Screen Shot 2016-06-21 at 12.46.44 PM

We didn’t see Harald die in battle, right? If he didn’t die, he shouldn’t be doing to well in Stark captivity.

67. Mace Tyrell (Previously 72nd)

Mace

Still supremely useless.

68. Maester Pycelle (Previously 73rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-14 at 2.02.04 PM

Hopefully he farts for the last time in the season finale.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. We’ll be doing a Season Recap the day after the finale!

 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Advertisements

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep7 “There Will Be Blood”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

When Game of Thrones elects to start an episode with a cold open, rather than their heart pumping theme, there’s usually a good reason for it. I’ve personally used my puppy emoji in texts and tweets way more than I had before thanks to the open. Unfortunately we had a short-lived experience with one HBO’s all-time great alums…

McShane of Thrones

This will not be the last we see of Ian McShane as he will be starring in Neil Gaiman’s American Gods coming to STARZ in 2017. If you love Thrones, I recommend giving Gaiman’s book a read and preparing for what should be an awesome TV adaptation. McShane will play Mr. Wednesday, and he may be the best actor for it.

But that’s not why you called…

#CleganeBowl is back on. Arya needs to get out of Braavos. Yara gets some. The Queen of Thorns throws serious shade. Jon and Sansa are on the recruiting trail. Oh, and Brynden Tully has zero Fucks to give. Also, FINALLY…A CASTLE WITH A MOAT!

1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)

Daenerys #1.gif

Daenerys Stormborn remains Queen of the Rankings, even without an appearance this week. Daenerys’ reputation is growing rapidly, as we see Yara and Theon banking their futures on aligning with her to take back the Iron Isles. We know that she and her dragons are key to defeating “Winter”, that the high Red priestess believes has foreseen her rule, and her army is only growing. Which Greyjoy tandem will she choose to get her ships though…Euron & Aeron or Yara & Theon?

2. The Night King (Previously 2nd)

Night's King

The Night King is only referenced in the episode, but he is part of the compelling argument that Davos makes at House Mormont. Davos fully understands that it’s all of humanity vs. The Night King, and that’s why we hold him in lofty regard.

3. Bran Stark (Previously 3rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 9.43.56 AM

Bran’s understanding of his powers is just getting stronger and Benjen is there to remind him how important that is.

4. Ser Davos (Previously 13th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.03.25 AM

Davos reminded us again how excellent a recruiter he is. When neither Jon or Sansa could convince Lady Mormont why she should put her people’s lives on the line for them, Davos did he his classic relatable thing and won her over. Despite snide remarks and glares from Sansa, she and Jon are much better off with his advisement than without it.

5. High Sparrow (Previously 6th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.32.57 AM

The High Sparrow is certainly in the catbird seat. He is the puppet master and Tommen is his, well…ya know, which makes him the most powerful man in King’s Landing. Pressuring Margaery to give Tommen an heir and threatening her grandmother though? We saw her pass the note to Olenna, and he seems to be underestimating Cersei. I don’t think he’ll be sitting pretty for very long.

6. Queen Margaery (Previously 8th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.37.23 AM

The circumstances are not ideal but Margaery is queen. She may have the Septa lurking over her shoulder and appears to have bought in to the High Sparrow’s ways, but I think she is much more cunning than that. I also don’t believe she has totally sold out her brother like she says she has.

7. Brynden Tully (Previously 10th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.50.02 AM

The Blackfish is the most important variable to Sansa and Jon’s fight against Ramsay. If he can somehow het past the Lannister and Frey forces, there is hope for the Starks to have a formidable army. His willingness to let Edmure die in order to keep Riverrun and to stand with his back to Jaime (who stabbed his king in the back) shows how tough and arrogant this S.O.B. really is.

8. Jon Snow (Previously 5th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.41.23 AM

Jon finally seemed back to rallying form when he spoke with the Free Folk. He was humble yet forceful and convincing when speaking to their leaders about fighting with him, which is what we’ve come to love about Jon. He was knocked back a bit after a tough grilling from young Lady Mormont and a full out rejection from House Glover. However, he is exactly why the Starks have the bulk of their army and he’s ready to take them into battle as soon as possible to get Rickon back.

9. Sansa Stark (Previously 4th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.18.22 AM

This wasn’t a great episode for Sansa. When trying to remind Northerners of how she was treated and their allegiances to House Stark, the response was not subtle. Both Mormont and Glover suffered when serving her brother Rob, so her assertiveness was not greeted too kindly. The sass she gave Jon over having Davos as an advisor and scoffing at their forces was not a great look either. One can assume though that the letter she is writing will be going to Petyr Baelish…who has Vale forces ready to assist.

10. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 7th)

Tyrion

Based on the next episode’s description, we’re going to find out how well his propaganda experiment went. It was a well-thought out and calculated move to gain the trust of Meereen, after dealing with Slavers. Hopefully the philosophy doesn’t clash with Daenerys’ wishes, but at least he has her two other dragons on his side…

11. Cersei Lannister (Previously 9th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.42.40 AM

As Olenna pointed out, Cersei is missing a lot of backup. She does have her Zombie Mountain, Qyburn and a Trial by Combat coming. I would also think that she and Queen Margaery have a common interest, or more of an “enemy of my enemy” type bond. I don’t doubt her success in the Trial and I think she’ll be getting the blood she’s wanted all season long.

12. Benjen Stark (Previously 11th)

Benjen

Benjen is now the key to Bran realizing his full potential. Hopefully Jon gets to see him too.

13. Brienne (Previously 12th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.27.08 AM

If House Tully is going to make it to help Sansa and Jon, Brienne has reach Brynden before Jaime does with a sword. Brynden knows Brienne from her service to Catelyn, and Jaime knows her well too. We see the Blackfish pull out his sword in her presence and Jaime does a lot of shouting in the teaser. Maybe she brings the two to an understanding, as Jaime did promise Sansa would be safe to Brynden’s niece…?

14. Petyr Baelish (Previously 14th)

Petyr Baelish

Based on the assumption that the raven Sansa is sending was intended for Littlefinger, the Vale increases her and Jon’s odds immensely. Petyr Baelish is full of surprises though. How do we know he won’t flip flop sides on her…again?

15. Jaime Lannister (Previously 19th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.09.12 AM

The backhand Jaime gave to Walder Rivers would make Djokovic proud. Like Cersei, Jaime is looking for blood but I don’t know if he really wants to do it on behalf of the Freys. He clearly doesn’t respect them, and he’s even less inlined to serve either Tommen or The High Sparrow.

Something that has always struck me about Jaime though, despite his incest issues, is how important honor is to him. With Brynden out in the open and having his back turned, Jaime could’ve ended the whole dispute with a quick pull of his sword. Nope. That’s not how Jaime rolls.

16. Varys (Previously 16th)

Varys

Since we last saw Varys, he was getting burned bad by Kinvara. At this point, he’s still Tyrion’s most trusted advisor in a city they rule and he knows more about everything than anyone else. Will Kinvara keep terrorizing him though? She seems to know a bit too much about him.

17. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 17th)

Euron

Euron has a leg up on Yara and Theon getting to Daenerys. He obviously knows her reputation better from his travels and he is the one with access to building ships since he wears the crown. He has a Ramsay-esque screw loose and arrogance too that might not go over well with the Mother of Dragons.

18. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 18th)

Ramsay

This is a nice streak of Ramsay-less episodes.

19. Tormund (Previously 22nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.41.58 AM.png

I can’t wait to see Tormund back in battle. I don’t understand the”Southerner” prejudice toward him and his people. They’re too respectful to hate. He did some nice rallying for Jon too with the other Free Folk leaders.

20. Zombie Mountain (Previously 11th)

Zombie Mountain

Mountain…Smash! From what we see in the teaser, THAT’s finally coming.

21. Sandor Clegane (Previously NR)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.29.50 AM

Welcome back, Sandor Clegane!

I feel much better about predicting his return for the last few weeks. Here we find The Hound trying to be civilized and peaceful. How can’t you be with Ian McShane? Then after he felt sort of at home and helpful, some jerks kill his new friends and he’s out looking for blood.

There have been predictions that #CleganeBowl, the battle of the brothers, will be Cersei’s Trial by Combat. I think he has other unfinished business to take care of first, regarding the Brothers Without Banners who slaughtered his community, and the Trial is coming too soon for him to be making an appearance in King’s Landing.

22. Kinvara (Previously 24th)

Kinvara

Meereen’s Secretary of Propaganda is going to show us her stuff this coming week and I’m only curious how Daenerys feels about someone manipulating her people. We do know she’s very powerful though, considering she’s #1 on the Red Woman depth chart.

23. Drogon (Previously 20th)

Drogon S6

Death from above.

24. Wun Wun (Previously 31)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.40.27 AM

“Snow.”

He speaks! What would have his colleagues have done if he didn’t agree to help Jon though?

25. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 30th)

Rhaegal Viserion

Pumped for the family reunion.

26. Daario Naharis (Previously 27th)

Daario

I assume Daario will rank pretty high in Daenerys’ army when they return to Meereen. He’s really going to hate Euron though.

27. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 26th)

Tommen

Who is Tommen rooting for in the Trial by Combat? If his balls would drop, there wouldn’t even be one.

28. Jorah Mormont (Previously 25th)

Ser Jorah

After seeing more House Mormont, I would love to see Jorah get back home to help their cause. He seems a bit far away though and I’ll maintain that he’s going to be crossing paths with the Maesters at the Citadel to cure his greyscale.

29. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 29th)

Edd

If Bran’s coming to the Wall, he’s going to want Commander Edd’s help…who has also seen the White Walkers in action.

30. Melisandre (Previously 23rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 9.58.44 AM

Melisandre has been in multiple episodes in a row now with zero impact since bringing Jon back to life. Whenever she’s ready to do something cool again, I’ll be waiting.

31. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 36th)

Jaqen 2.34.02 PM

What’s Jaqen’s plan for Waif, since she didn’t kill Arya quickly like he ordered? There is a theory that Waif is basically a figment of Arya’s imagination. If that’s true, then Jaqen’s powers are crazier than even I thought.

32. Bronn (Previously 33rd) 

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.46.48 AM

“A Lannister always pays his…”

“Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it!”

Missed you, Bronn.

33. Ghost (Previously 32nd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.34.24 AM

If Ramsay dies, I want Ghost to at least get a bite of him.

34. Lyanna Mormont (Newbie)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.03.44 AM

Who didn’t love this “talk to the hand” moment? She may have just 62 fighters, but Lyanna is more assertive and mature than any of the characters we’ve seen at her age. She also comes off as a responsible leader with her people in mind first. Davos made the best argument of all to recruit her as well, “the living vs the dead”.

35. Missandei (Previously 38th)

Missandei

Daenerys’ circle of trust is going to be pretty crowded when she gets back.

36. Grey Worm (Previously 39th)

Grey Worm

Grey Worm has some rage to unleash. Have not seen him swing his spear yet all season.

37. Ollenna Tyrell (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.44.18 AM

At least Olenna is finding joy in something, even if it’s Cersei’s failures. I don’t think she’s leaving King’s Landing quite yet without Cersei’s help.

38. Robin Arryn (Previously 52nd)

Robin

If Sansa is writing for Littlefinger’s help, then that makes Robin Arryn and his moon roof relevant again.

39. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 41)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.14.45 AM

Good for you, Yara. Happy she’s able to have “love” for a short bit before going on a mission that could get her killed. Maybe don’t tell the person who has your back the most to kill himself though…

40. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 42nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.12.43 AM

One question: If Theon is missing his manhood, where does all the ale he’s chugging go? Oh wait…grosssssss

41. Dim Dalba (Newbie)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.41.01 AM

I had no idea how tall this guy was until he walked up to brace forearms with Jon.

42. Meera (Previously 35th)

Meera

Being on Team Bran isn’t the safest, but it might be the most important place to be.

43. Samwell Tarly (Previously 52nd)

Samwell 1.25.56 PM

How soon will Sam put his family’s sword to use?

44. Gilly (Previously 37th)

Gilly

Does Gilly just keep wearing the dress wherever she goes and does Talla want it back?

45. Podrick (Previously 40th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.06.06 AM

I know Podrick-Bronn is the reunion we’ve all been waiting for.

46. Arya Stark (Previously 28th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.21.35 AM

GET OUT OF BRAAVOS ALREADY!

47. Waif (Previously 58th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.20.35 AM

Waif is totally going to regret not killing Arya when she had the chance. If she’s a Fight Club/Mr. Robot ripoff though, I’ll be pretty disappointed.

48. Septa Unella (Previously 62nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.34.54 AM

Septa moves up for still having some authority over Margaery, but I share Olenna Tyrell’s sentiments.

49. Yohn Royce (Previously 53rd)

Royce

If Petyr is coming to save the day for the Starks, Royce has his chance to redeem himself for selling Sansa out.

50. Qyburn (Previously 47th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.07.49 AM

Besides prepping The Mountain, Qyburn also gathers intel and should have some tricks up his sleeve when things get hairy for Cersei in King’s Landing.

51. Robett Glover (Newbie)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.11.16 AM

While I can’t condone his bigotry toward the Free Folk, he makes good points not wanting to jump into battle with Jon and Sansa. He saw this movie before with Rob, and he won’t put his people in danger without better odds.

52. Ellaria Sand (Previously 43rd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.30.59 AM

So we just gave up on the Sands entirely after the premiere, huh?

53. Tyene Sand (Previously 44th)

Tyene

I mean…

54. Nymeria Sand (Previously 45th)

Nymera

…what was the point of killing the Martels then?

55. Obara Sand (Previously 46th)

Obara

Seriously.

56. Lem Lemoncloak (Newbie) 

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.31.32 AM

Representing Brothers without Banners, the dude in the putrid colored cloak led a raid to kill a whole bunch of innocent and defenseless people. However, this may open the door to the return of ANOTHER character that we thought was dead…

That’s all I’ll say.

57. Melessa Tarly (Previously 49th)

Melessa

Melessa may be the last line of defense between Randyll and her son. Not sure how sympathetic she is after he left without saying bye though…

Kidding, she seems compassionate.

58. Randyll Tarly (Previously 50th)

Randyl

He’s, um, pleasent.

59. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 54th)

Aeron

How pruney are this guy’s fingers and feet after being in water so much?

60. Walder Frey (Previously 51)

Walder Frey

Creepy ass old man, whose sons can’t even conduct a proper siege.

61. Rickon Stark (Previously 57th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.13.17 AM

Anyone else worried that Rickon isn’t okay?

62. Smalljon Umber (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.14.11 AM

Is Smalljon code for something?

63. Harald Karstark (Previously 56th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.15.07 AM

…still wonder if the Karstarks flip, like Sansa suggested.

64. Lancel Lannister (Previously 63rd)

Lancel

 He leads the evil agents of the faith, but he’s going to be praying to anyone else who will listen when the Mountain gets to him.

65. Talla Tarly (Previously 59th)

Talla

Going to make this a weekly reminder that Talla was hushed when mentioning the guy she is set to marry…and that might matter.

66. Dickon Tarly (Previously 60th)

Dickon

Unfortunate name, bro.

67. Zanrush (Previously 61st)

Zanrush

This man has seen some things.

68. Lady Crane (Previously 64th)

Lady Crane

Ive cut out the rest of her acting group, but the hit on Lady Crane affected Arya enough to go rogue…

69. Walder Rivers (Previously 65th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.50.51 AM

How does the back of Jaime’s hand taste?

70. Lothar Frey (Previously 66th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.49.34 AM

The less assertive of the Frey douches.

71. Lhazareen (Previously 67th)

Lhazareen

Wonder how she’ll feel about Meereen.

72. Ser Loras (Previously 71)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.18.02 AM

Everybody but Cersei and Olenna has abandoned him…Maybe Margaery hasn’t either.

73. Edmure Tully (Previously 70th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.55.03 AM

Edmure, on the otherhand, was totally bailed on by Brynden. Sorry, dude. At least Jaime is getting him bathed and fed.

74. Mace Tyrell (Previously 72nd)

Mace

Still worthless.

75. Maester Pycelle (Previously 73rd)

Pycelle

Why is he still here? Seriously.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep2 – “You Bastards!”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

I think Carice van Houten, who plays Melisandre, summed up Season 6’s second episode perfectly.

Very happy, Carice. Very damn happy.

It was also a big episode for the bastards of Thrones. Ramsay followed the Sand Snakes’ lead. Tommen got closer to growing a pair. Then, dun dun dun, Jon Snow got (as the kids say) woke. And dragons…

But first a quick moment for the fallen:

– Roose Bolton

– Walda Bolton

– Baby Bolton

– Balon Greyjoy

– That jerk that shot an arrow at Wun Wun

Wun Wun

Let’s begin now.

1. Jon Snow (Previously 10th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 10.36.36 AM

The wait is over, Thrones friends! It didn’t even take 3 days for Jon to rise from the dead, thanks to Melisandre (and Ser Davos, even more). As Roose Bolton feared, a living Stark in the north is much more powerful than any Bolton (we’ll get that later). With Sansa heading his way to Castle Black, and a reputation for being almost immortal, Jon’s going to have quite a following in future days.

2. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 3rd)

Tyrion

“That’s what I do…I drink, and I know things.”

And knowing’s half the battle. Tyrion get major props for respecting the dragons and releasing them from their chains, without being eaten or burnt to a crisp. As the allies to Meereen fall, the dragons become an even fiercer weapon than whatever forces they neighboring “master” cities can conjure. In Daenerys’s absence, Tyrion wields that power now.

3. Ser Davos Seaworth (Previously 4th)

Davos

Melisandre may have brought Jon back to life, but it took Davos pushing her to do so. It was like was representing the fans of the show that didn’t want to believe Jon Snow was dead and his pep talk was on a Super Bowl coach level, if you ask me. One can assume now that he would be Jon’s #2 as their forces build.

4. Melisandre (Previously 11th)

Melisandre

To be honest, I loved Emo Melisandre. I was half-expecting to see her black eye-liner, goth lipstick and listening to Hawthorn Heights, given her mood after the first episode. But she kept her clothes on, got to work, and performed one more miracle…just like Davos said she would.

5. Cersei Lannister (Previously 13th)

Cersei

If anyone knows the game as well as Tyrion, it’s his sister Cersei. The plan for revenge appears to be in motion now, as she has guilted her way back into King Tommen’s good graces. One can assume she’ll be the one influencing his decisions going forward regarding the Sparrows and getting Margaery back. The King’s Guard seemed pretty relieved too, when she chose to not sick her Zombie Mountain on them.

6. Night’s King (Previously 5th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.35.08 AM

I’ll just continue to refer to the “Hardhome” episode, until he appears again.

 

7. Sansa Stark (Previously 1st)

Sansa

Sansa got her BIG LONG OVERDUE WIN last week and she seems set to head to Castle Black. That will definitely be the best course of action with Jon coming back from the dead and the opportunity to bring the north together, first against Ramsay.

8. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 19th)

Tormund

Besides Wun Wun totally ragdolling a dude, Tormund led the charge into Castle Black. This one was way easier than the first time in Season 4. He also put one Crow down, which seemed to satisfy him greatly, and gave Alliser some fantastic sass. He’ll obviously be Jon’s key to the Wildling Army going forward, who will be amazed to see him walking again.

9. Brienne (Previously 2nd)

Brienne

It’s good to be on #TeamSansa, and really #TeamStark in general at the moment. One could imagine there will be some hiccups on the way to Castle Black, but Brienne has proven herself capable of handling just about anything at this point. You have to appreciate how polite she was with Sansa, when she totally could have pulled the “I told you so” card on her.

10. Varys (Previously 6th)

Varys

Varys has to feel better after seeing Tyrion tame the dragons in their lair. His resourcefulness for information surrounding Meereen also appear to be the council’s best asset after the dragons.

11. Zombie Mountain (Previously 15th)

Zombie Mountain

First #ZombieMountainSmash of the season was a great one. Jerk totally had it coming. The relief in the King’s guard’s faces was pretty priceless too after they realized they didn’t have to fight him…yet. Now unleash him on the damn Sparrows already!

12. The High Sparrow (Previously 16th)

High Sparrow

The High Sparrow remains high in the rankings here after flexing his mafia style muscles on Jaime. Very bold to send a message during his daughter’s funeral ceremony. I have to think Jaime will make him pay for that soon.

13. Jaime Lannister (Previously 7th)

Jaime

Like Cersei, Jaime seems to have influence over Tommen as well…and that’s going to come in handy as the Lannister siblings start their revenge campaign on everyone ever. Savvy to concede to the Sparrow when it’ll be way better to kill him down the road.

14. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 35th)

Ramsay

WORST. PERSON. EVER.

With that said, Ramsay is now the last Bolton in charge of his house and army. He also has zero honor, so that makes him more dangerous than most. He’s likely making a big mistake attacking Castle Black though, as his father warned. I also don’t think the Karstarks are the best house to align with, considering the head of the family broke his oath to Rob Stark in the first place.

15. Wun Wun The Giant (Previously 36th)

Wun Wun Enters

Who didn’t cheer when Wun Wun walked into Castle Black. All he needed was Stone Cold Steve Austin’s entrance music. 

16. Dolorous Edd (Previously 18th)

Edd

Did anyone expect to be calling Dolorous Edd “Lord Commander” when they first met him? Good for Edd, sticking by Jon’s side and rounding the Wildlings. We saw the leadership qualities in him during “Watchers on the Wall” and it’s cool that he has evolved to this now.

17. Daenerys Stormborn (Previously 12th)

Daenerys

We’ll likely learn more about Daenerys’s situation in the next episode, but for now she has Khal Moro’s protection and she’s safe. I still get the feeling she will be commanding even more respect in a short time’s notice with a new Dothraki army.

18. Khal Moro (Previously 14th)

Khal Moro

Khal Moro seems honorable. You worry about characters like him on this show though, as they let their guard down to the dangerous ones within their inner circle. Trusting Daenerys is smart and can pay off big time, if he survives.

19. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 27th)

Tommen

Tommen gets Top 20 status for simply being the king. He will also have the right people advising him as he makes his move to rescue his wife. The “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” babble was a little whiny, but he’s being pointed in the right direction now. Unfortunately, Kings don’t last long this show.

20. Ellaria Sand (Previously 9th)

Ellaria Sand

Inactivity makes Ellaria slide a little. Not sure how relevant her storyline will be for a while, but it’s hard not to assume she’s in control of Dorne at the moment and that’s enough to respect at the moment.

21. Petyr Baelish (Previously 22nd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 11.09.22 AM

Hey, where’s Little Finger at? Not sure if he knew what would transpire with Sansa and the Boltons would happen, but he would look pretty damn smart if he did. Houses are going to be choosing sides in the north soon, and you wonder how much influence he has when they do.

22. The Three-Eyed Raven (Previously 31st)

Three-Eyed Raven

Finally! Some Three-Eyed Raven magic!

For the time being, I’d like to compare the Raven to Doc Brown and Bran is Marty McFly as they travel through time to learn about what’s to come.

23. Bran Stark (Previously 32nd)

Bran

Bran McFly is kinda grown up and learning about his family’s past. It’s impressive, but not as impressive as taking control over Hodor, a Direwolf or like…a dragon. It’ll all make sense soon though, right? (That’s what they keep telling us)

24. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 50th)

Dragons

Unchained and ready to get after it! For now, the dragons are the biggest X-Factor to the Meereen storyline. If Tyrion wants to restore order, he’ll need their help to do it by striking fear into just about EVERYONE. After what happened in the fighting pits, that seems pretty plausible.

25. Euron Greyjoy (Newbie)

Euron

After Euron tossed his big brother over the rail, I immediately thought of the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

And now he’s “running” for King of the Iron Islands. Great.

26. Yara Greyjoy (Previously NR)

Yara

I’m confused. Balon told Yara she would become ruler. Apparently she still has a chance because she has to be “chosen”. Does that change when Theon returns though? Euron doesn’t seem too keen on letting either take charge…

27. Ghost (Previously 40th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 10.36.13 AM

You knew something was going to happen when Ghost got up, right? He’s gonna be SO HAPPY, I can’t wait (I’m a dog lover, I can’t help my excitement over things like this).

28. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 30th)

Joqen

The most mysterious character ever gets even more mysterious, as he tests Arya and her commitment to having no name. Is he going to give her sight back to her? How powerful is this guy? And where did Waif go?

29. Leaf (Previously NR)

Leaf

Apparently “The Children” age? Leaf appears a bit older since we saw her in S4. She also knows way more than anyone other than the Raven and can throw fireballs. I think that’s Top 30 worthy.

30. Hodor (Previously 39th)

Hodor

HODOR USED TO TALK NORMAL! In the flashbacks, that may be the most intriguing mystery of all…and I think it’s going to have to do with Benjen being sentenced to the Wall.

31. Tyene Sand (Previously 17th)

Tyene

Like Ellaria, I’m not sure how active Tyene and her sisters will be for a while. She’s definitely the most impressive of the 3 snakes, and will probably lure Bronn to her side if the opportunity ever arises.

32. Waif (Previously 43rd)

Waif

Okay, either Waif is super shifty or she has powers like Jaqen too. Guess we’ll see soon, won’t we.

33. Arya Stark (Previously 44th)

Arya

Yay, Arya’s catching on! And she has a roof again! Her story needs to speed up though. This is taking a while. I would recommend she take lessons from the Daredevil School of Blind Fighting too.

34. Podrick Payne (Previously 21st)

Pod

All I know about Pod is that you should never doubt him. Always has a surprise up his sleeve for those who underestimate him.

35. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 8th)

Theon

Theon takes a tumble only because he’s abandoning Sansa. She’s in good hands, but it wouldn’t hurt to have him nearby. I assume there will be payoff to him returning home, but for now he’s riding into a pretty murky situation there.

36. Ser Jorah Marmont (Previously 28th)

Jorah

#TrueDetectiveSeason3 continues…

37. Daario Naharis (Previously 29th)

Daario

…still think this guy’s shady though.

38. Kevan Lannister (Previously 23rd)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.54.03 AM

Alright Kevan, ready your Lannister Army on some Sparrows…and then Ramsay because his father defied you.

39. Harald Karstark (Newbie)

Karstar

I think Harald is way over his head with Ramsay. 1) Bad idea to trust this jerk. 2) I don’t see how much sway the Karstarks really have after defying the Starks when they built their forces in the north.

40. Nymeria Sand (Previously 24th)

Nymera

Doing great Indiana Jones impressions, I’m sure.

41. Obara Sand (Previously 25th)

Obara

“Greedy bitch”, according to her sister. Take it up with her, not me. She said it.

42. Missandei (Previously 38th)

Missandei

Missandei can’t do too much without Daenerys but she did offer some valuable info to Tyrion, as he wanted to confirm how peaceful the dragons can be around strangers.

43. Grey Worm (Previously 42nd)

Greyworm

Okay Greyworm, stop being a Negative Nancy already and bring some boat burners to justice.

44. Aeron Greyjoy (Newbie)

Aeron

Aeron seems very sagely, but I have no idea what his agenda is with Yara and now Euron returning. And what does he have to say when Theon gets home?

45. Queen of Thorns (Previously 33rd)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.08.17 PM

I think she’s bringing Hell to dinner soon…The longer her grandchildren wait, the more the heat gets cranked up.

46. Queen Margaery (Previously 26th)

Screen Shot 2016-05-03 at 11.24.32 AM

Margaery can’t do much from her cell, but she is serving as motivation for Tommen to bring down the Sparrows…and a good excuse for Cersei’s revenge.

 

47. Bronn (Previously 37th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.12.58 PM

What’s Bronn up to anyway? In a bar, singing…missing Tyene? Probably.

48. Samwell Tarley (Previously 45th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.21.31 PM

Sam is missed A LOT since leaving Castle Black.

49. Gilly (Previously 46th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.22.48 PM

…but at least Sam has Gilly.

50. Drogon (Previously 41st)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.17.17 PM

Whenever Drogon is done licking his wounds, he can go save Daenerys. Anytime now…(tick, tick, tick)

51. Meera (Previously 47th)

Meera

I’m pretty confident that while Bran was training with the Raven for a year, Meera just sat out in the snow the entire time, feeling sorry for herself.

52. Rickon Stark (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.25.14 PM

“Never gonna give you up” – Rickon Astley

53. Osha (Previously 49th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.25.47 PM

…you neither.

54. Septa Unella (Previously 51st)

Septa

Hoping for a Cersei/Maergary double-team finishing move on her. A boy can dream.

 

55. Ser Alliser Thorne (Previously 20th)

Alliser

Lord Commander Edd is going to have fun with Alliser. At least he got one more bark at his men in before Wun Wun silenced them.

56. Ser Loras Tyrell (Previously 52nd)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.32.26 PM

…I still don’t feel too good about Ser Loras, unfortunately.

57. Lancel Lannister (Previously 53rd)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.33.42 PM

Zombie Mountain’s coming for ya, Lancel.

58. Olyvar (Previously 55th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.34.38 PM

The Sparrows don’t seem too keen on people of his ilk. Despite selling out Loras, I don’t get the impression they spared Olyvar either.

59. Mace Tyrell (Previously 55th)

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.35.38 PM

Still. So. Damn. Worthless.

60. Olly (Previously 56th)

Ollie

Jon won’t look away when he cuts this brat’s head off.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

Don’t lie. Hearing the Game of Thrones theme raised your blood pressure a little bit and you were pumped for the next 2 months of action.

The season premiere picked up where Season 5 left off. We got some closure on Jon Snow. Big things are coming for Sansa. Dorne belongs to the Sand. The Lannisters vs. The World. Meereen has smoke on the water. Daenerys goes back to basics. Arya’s got some work to do. Melisandre is, well, you know the Danny Glover quote…

In just one episode, there was a ton of shakeup from the Pre-Season Thrones Rankings. As more of our favorite characters enter the fold, I imagine that will continue next week. For now, though…here are your S6 Week 1 Rankings.

1. Sansa Stark

Sansa

I’m not sure if there’s a character who has suffered as much as Sansa has over the course of the series. She watched her father get beheaded, endured the Joffrey thing, survived a marriage to Ramsay (you know what happened), then after loads and loads of disappointment, she got a HUGE win. Wins don’t come easy on this show.

As it was mentioned in Season 5, then reinforced by Roose Bolton in his convo with Ramsay, the North is prepared to unite for Sansa. They NEVER FORGET and now that she’s out of the Bolton’s grasp, it may be time for her to build her legion. Having the heir to the Greyjoys and Brienne by her side doesn’t hurt either.

2. Brienne of Tarth

Brienne

Piggybacking on Sansa’s momentum, Brienne waited for 2 seasons to fulfill her promise to Catelyn Stark. She got her revenge on Stannis and clearly has some serious adrenaline leftover to take out 3 more of Ramsay’s men. I’m very high on the possibilities for Sansa’s potential Northern army and Brienne is like her “Daryl Dixon” (for the Walking Dead fans) ready for battle.

3. Tyrion Lannister

Tyrion

With Daenerys absent, Meereen is now Tyrion’s responsibility and he’s walking about much more comfortably than he should. He’s the best man for the job though, having the most experience running a kingdom as the King’s Hand back in King’s Landing. While politics, knowledge and drinking are his thing, he’s currently playing #TrueDetectiveSeason3 with his “partner in crime” Varys trying to find the traitor in Daenerys’s camp.

4. Ser Davos Seaworth

Davos

Davos is the coolest, right? I love his speech to those loyal to Jon, telling them he’d been pushed around by jerks like Alliser all his life. He’s savvy enough to know that Alliser’s deal is bullshit and has quickly devised a strategy to call upon the Wildling army before nightfall. Davos has also put aside his personal differences with Melisandre, knowing she could be both Jon and his best chance within Castle Black.

Who else is pumped for this “Butch & Sundance” style showdown with the Night’s Watch?

5. Night’s King

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.35.08 AM

I’ll just refer to the “Hardhome” episode again. Remember that?

6. Varys

Varys

I have maintained a belief that Varys is the puppet master to what’s going on in his storyline. There’s no way Jorah finding Tyrion was a coincidence and neither was Varys finding his way to Meereen to join Daenerys’s council. I like the idea that the entire series is just a battle between he and “Little Finger” for rule of Westeros.

I also love his line to Tyrion, “I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy.”

7. Jaime Lannister

Jaime

Jaime comes back to King’s Landing ready to take back everything those around he and his sister have stolen from them. I don’t think we’ve seen Jaime this sure of himself, even when we were first introduced to the arrogant version of him. “Fuck the prophecy”, he tells Cersei. Being in command of the King’s guard and helping bring his sister back up, you know he’s going to get his bloody revenge…and the Sparrows are in their sights first.

8. Theon Greyjoy

Theon

The #TheonRedemptionTour is full speed ahead right now. Throwing Ramsay’s stalker girl over the wall, escaping with Sansa, and finally lifting a sword to protect her/save Podrick is a clear sign we’ve got Theon back…instead of Reek. The high ranking also has a lot to do with the potential power moves Sansa will continue to make. Hopefully the Iron Islands will accept him again and have his back.

9. Ellaria Sand

Ellaria Sand

Besides Sansa’s big win, Ellaria made the biggest power move by killing Doran Martell and all his guards letting it happen. She said, “a weak man will never rule Dorne.” This was her Jurassic Park “Woman inherits the Earth” moment as her daughters took care of Doran’s heir as well, obviously giving them the immediate power. With her wish for revenge on the Lannisters and Dorne’s history with the Targaryens, I think she will be key in assisting Daenerys in her eventual raid toward Westeros.

10. Jon Snow

Jon Snow

Jon is dead. I know. But for a dead guy, he seems to be needing A LOT of protection from those loyal to him and Davos, who has said himself that he didn’t even know him well. Those in Castle Black know damn well that you burn the dead right away too, and nobody even made that effort. With Melisandre in camp too, you can keep his story alive for the series.

11. Melisandre

Melisandre

Even as important and powerful as Melisandre is, her importance (at least to us) depends solely on what she can do for Jon, Davos and those aligned with them. Her reveal at the end of the episode, while graphic, gave legitimacy to her self-proclaimed credentials having lived through several battles and kingdoms. By all means, though, put on some clothes and bring Jon back from the dead already.

12. Daenerys Stormborn

Daenerys

While she doesn’t have control over her current situation, Daenerys held her own very well with this new Dothraki tribe. She stayed quiet while her captors talked down to her so she could survey her surroundings. Then as the Khal began threatening her, she broke her silence and instantly gained their respect.

She’s heading to Vaes Dothrak, which seems like a shitty situation, but you get the feeling Daenerys is going to rebuild her forces with those around her. When she’s surrounded by so many people like this, I’m reminded of the season finale that ended with the shot thousands worshipping her. She has a knack for drawing support.

13. Cersei Lannister

Cersei

Bare with me here, but Cersei is like a WWE pro wrestler. She does so much for so long to make you hate her, but can somehow make you root for her in an instant. It took some suffering at the hands of the Sparrows, but also some self-awareness as she mourned the loss of Myrcella. She says herself that her daughter was purely good and without the mean and wickedness that she possessed. So now I’m rooting for her to unleash Zombie Mountain on the Sparrows and regain what is hers.

14. Khal Moro

Khal Moro

New character on the show, but obviously powerful. Despite promising his protection for Daenerys, he does control her fate. You have to sorta respect that he did so after going full “he-man, woman owner” on her. It’s an alliance though that could be key for Daenerys down the road.

15. Zombie Mountain

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.44.02 AM

Mountain. Smash…You’ll see.

16. High Sparrow

High Sparrow

I’ll be honest, I can’t stand the greasy self-aggrandizing of the High Sparrow but facts are facts. He has the current Queen of King’s Landing held captive, as well as Ser Loras, and has totally shown up King Tommen…although that doesn’t seem too difficult.

17. Tyene Sand

Tyene

Tyene is by far the most interesting of the Sand Snakes. We saw her take full power over Bronn while they were both jailed and she just took down Areo Hotah, a character that I thought had Michael Clark Duncan type importance to the story. That dagger throw taking down the runaway Martell loyalist was pretty damn impressive too. As of now, she and her sisters are basically princesses in Dorne. We’ll see where things go for them now.

18. Eddison Tollett

Eddison

The “Crows” left in the room with Jon aren’t particularly excited that their fates are in the hands of ol’ Ed here, but he did take care of business from atop the wall during the battle with the Wildlings when Jon left him in charge. Now he’s tasked with rallying the Wildlings for his friends’ rescue. Having been there during Hardhome, I trust he can do some convincing.

19. Tormund Giantsbane

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.49.33 AM

As important as Ed is for getting the Wildlings, it’s going to be Tormund’s call as to whether they will help him. Something tells me it won’t take too much convincing for him to get another shot at killing Crows.

20. Ser Alliser Thorne

Alliser

Alliser is a weird situation. If anything, he represents the conservative politics that go into guarding the wall. Where Jon wants everyone to get along, Alliser remembers all the times Wildlings killed his people in the past and sees no reason to assist them. However, we’ve seen the point-of-view from Mance, where they fought the Night’s Watch out of necessity and for survival. You have to respect his honesty and not hiding that he did to Jon and he knows that it was treason. He’s reached a point of no return though and you’re more than allowed to wish for bad things to happen to him because of it.

21. Podrick Payne

Pod

Podrick never ceases to amaze. He held his own very well in the skirmish with the Bolton soldiers. These being the same that defeated Stannis’s army and slaughtered Rob Starks men. Yet there was Pod, taking one down from his horse and going toe-to-toe with another in a sword fight. He still needed Theon’s help to survive, but Podrick is on Sansa’s side now with an arrow pointing up…big time.

22. Petyr Baelish

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.52.28 AM

We haven’t seen Petyr Baelish in a while but we do know he has something in the works. Maybe he knew Sansa would escape, maybe he didn’t. What we do know is that he has bet most of his chips on the North rallying behind her specifically. It’s going to be interesting to see what happens when they meet again. What Varys is to Tyrion and Daenerys, Little Finger is to the North…King’s Landing just happens to be stuck in the middle.

23. Kevan Lannister

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.54.03 AM

As the Hand of the King, Kevan Lannister should be getting some input very soon as Tommen likely wants his wife back from the Sparrows. He’s also in charge of probably the most powerful army in the Seven Kingdoms. This seems to be a decent spot for a guy who has only appeared on the show twice but has that much power.

24. Nymeria Sand

Nymera

Tyene’s sisters just toyed with Tristain, who didn’t stand a chance against them. At least Nymeria was willing to take him on face-to-face…

25. Obara Sand

Obara

Kind of a stupid move to have his back facing Obara, but Tristain had the spear through the “back of the head and out his face” coming. “Greedy bitch” move, by her though…as her sister stated.

26. Queen Margaery

Margaery

We’ve never seen Margaery this low before. She’s played the game, just about as well as Cersei had. A little weird that two of her three husbands were basically children, but you gotta to what you gotta do to be queen. She inspires revenge from Tommen though, and one would expect the King’s guard to be making a move for her soon. She also seems to be holding her own well, despite the circumstances.

27. Tommen Baratheon

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 11.57.44 AM

This poor kid. Hard to expect he’s going to last long but at least he’s not Joffrey. Regardless, he is the king…and it’s good to be the king.

28. Ser Jorah Marmont

Jorah

Among the two searching for Daenerys, Jorah is the most motivated. He’s doing it for love and he’s got nothing to lose besides her. When things get rocky, you’ve seen him handle his own with a sword too. I don’t doubt he’ll be seeing Daenerys again before the greyscale gets him.

29. Daario Naharis

Daario

One of the most capable of the warriors on the show, but I don’t necessarily trust him. If we’re going to play process of elimination for those who could have betrayed Daenerys in Meereen, the arrow points to Daario. If we learned anything from Scream, you can’t trust the boyfriend. Daario is also a mercenary and motivated by money. The Masters could’ve easily payed him beyond his wildest dreams to strategize with the Sons of the Harpy. Who’s to say some of those masked men aren’t his either. He might not be in Meereen, but his on Daenerys’s scent and could get close enough to finish what he started.

30. Jaqen H’ghar

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.02.41 PM

I have no idea what the extent of his powers are or what he actually is, but the dude made Arya go blind and he’s a master of disguise. Interested to see more of what he’s capable of.

31. The Three-Eyed Raven

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.04.52 PM

We know the Three-Eyed Raven is powerful but we’re still not sure how or what he can do. He’s got Bran under his tutelage and has a whole year to work with him, so I’m anticipating serious Max Von Sydow magic soon.

32. Bran Stark

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.05.20 PM

Just like with his mentor, Bran’s been out of action for over a year. He’s going to be older and wiser, and hopefully more powerful.

33. Queen of Thorns

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.08.17 PM

I think we’re all in agreement that the former Bond girl had a lot to do with Joffrey’s death. What I’m interested in now is what she’s going to do to get her children out of the High Temple and will she team up with the Lannisters to do it.

34. Roose Bolton

Roose

He’s the Warden of the North, for now, and very aware of his current situation. The Bolton’s have broken ties with the Lannisters over Sansa and don’t have the support they need without her. Roose also seems to know how to handle Ramsay at this point too, pushing his buttons for motivation…You wonder if that may backfire eventually, because Ramsay is crazy.

35. Ramsay Snow

Ramsay

I know it’s not great seeing Ramsay any higher than last, but he did just lead an army to handily destroy Stannis’s. We’re reminded of his cruelty and disgusting nature though, as he ordered that the corpse of the ONE woman to love him be fed to his dogs.

36. Wun-Wun The Giant

Wun Wun

I want nothing more than for this best to rip Olly in half when he comes to Castle Black.

37. Bronn

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.12.58 PM

You wonder if Bronn is going to assist Jaime as he aims for revenge on EVERYONE. Why not? Bronn seems to like fighting with Lannisters, as long as they pay up.

38. Missandei

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.14.14 PM

If we’re ruling out betrayers to Daenerys in Meereen, I think you can remove Missandei from the list. Can’t really think of a reasons he’d have beef with her boss. She does have some power over Greyworm though, who’s in charge of his own arm…so there’s that.

39. Hodor

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.15.13 PM

Hodor.

40. Ghost

Ghost

Raise your hand if you were super relieved Ghost was okay at the start of the episode! Yeah, me too. He gets first ranking of the beasts on this show considering he has absolute loyalty toward Jon and will do anything to protect him. I would also be okay with him ripping Olly to shreds.

41. Drogon

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.17.17 PM

Is Drogon okay? There wasn’t much clarity on his status after dropping off Daenerys. He’s a bit of a loose canon, literally, but obviously the most aggressive of the dragons…and also not in chains.

42. Greyworm

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.18.46 PM

When he’s done feeling sorry for himself, Greyworm can move back up the list.

43. Waif

Waif

Waif is sorta playing sensei right now while taking some pleasure in beating the crap out of Arya. She also seems to know everything Arya is going through, so I give her the edge and the benefit of the doubt in this situation.

44. Arya Stark

Arya

This will be the lowest we see Arya, I assume. The sooner she also stops feeling sorry for herself, the better.

45. Samwell Tarley

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.21.31 PM

Sam’s ranked low only because of his inactivity at the start of the episode. Very interested to see how his storyline goes and what he’ll do when he hears about Jon.

46. Gilly

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.22.48 PM

Gilly rules. Inactivity has her low, just like Sam, so I expect her to make her way up the list eventually.

47. Meera Reed

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.23.58 PM

I’m not sure what’s going to motivate Meera now that her brother is dead. Jojen saw something in Bran, and maybe she’ll dedicate herself to seeing that through with the Three-Eyed Raven.

48. Rickon Stark

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.25.14 PM

Hey! Remember him! Still alive, I think. Wonder what he’s up to…Just about all the Starks should have arrows pointing up at this point, so we shall see.

49. Osha

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.25.47 PM

Her status is clearly tied to Rickon. With a territory allotted to Wildlings though, maybe she and Rickon took refuge there.

50. Rhaegal & Viserion

Viserion-and-Rhaegal

These poor dragons aren’t much good when chained up. You wonder if Tyrion will set them free as they seem to have connection for finding their mother.

51. Septa Unella 

Septa

Let’s take bets on who will kill Septa when the Temple falls: Cersei or Margaery?

Maybe they’ll bond over it.

52. Ser Loras Tyrell

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.32.26 PM

…I don’t feel too good about Ser Loras, unfortunately.

53. Lancel Lannister

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.33.42 PM

Zombie Mountain’s coming for ya, Lancel.

54. Olyvar

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.34.38 PM

The Sparrows don’t seem too keen on people of his ilk. Despite selling out Loras, I don’t get the impression they spared Olyvar either.

55. Mace Tyrell

Screen Shot 2016-04-26 at 12.35.38 PM

So. Damn. Worthless.

56. Olly

OllieAll I want is for someone to brutally massacre that smug look off this kid’s face.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter. Also, check out our recap on the latest Piffcast episode

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”