Piffcast: The ‘Game of Thrones’ S6 Review Special

If you aren’t caught up on Game of Thrones, go do that and then listen to our show.

TJ and Michael go ALL OUT THRONES for the 20th Piffcast episode, recapping and reviewing the entire epic 6th season. We bounce region to region, House to House, giving our 2 cents on every storyline and where we think they are going. Listen in for our favorite (and least favorite) episodes from Season 6, favorite characters, and ALL THINGS THRONES. 

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You can subscribe to The Piffcast on iTunes too.

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Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep8 “I Choose Violence”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

We. Got. Violence…Thanks to the big bad brothers from Hell. The Cleganes are on very different paths, leaving a trail of blood in their wake. The Mountain does so in the name of his queen and to protect her. The Hound is his own man, dealing in revenge but also looking for for some kind of redemption. At this rate, however, the #CleganeBowl looks further and further in the distance.

Meanwhile, Arya put Waif’s face on the wall and took her name back. Missandei and Grey Worm became the new Dharma and Greg. Tommen turned full heel. Jaime runs Riverrun. Brienne got a “Good job, Good Effort”. Cersei picked up one last card to play…

And making her triumphant return to Meereen…

1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)

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I don’t know what Daenerys expected to find when she got back, but I don’t think it was Master ships throwing fireballs at her city. We may need to wait until the finale, but I think we’re going to see her first example of her opponents on the sea. She now has 3 dragons,  her khalasar, the Unsullied and the Second Sons and they are going to get some practice in conquering.

2. The Night King (Previously 2nd)

Night's King

His presence is such a threat, even the Brotherhood Without Banners is heading to the wall to fight. The fight between “the living and the dead” should be a major focus for the next two seasons.

3. Jaime Lannister (Previously 15th)

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Jaime OWNED this week’s episode. He maintained his honor, allowing Brienne safe passage to speak with the Blackfish and to keep Oathkeeper, while instilling enough fear in Edmure to turn over Riverrun. All season long, Jaime has grown more and more comfortable in his own skill and driven to achieve what he believes he and his sister deserve. As he said in the episode, Cersei is willing to burn down cities for her children. What do you think Edmure will be willing to do for her, especially after Tommen officially turned his back on her?

4. High Sparrow (Previously 4th)

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Tommen’s decree to eliminate Trials by Combat was a clear sign of the High Sparrow pulling the strings. Once Lancel got back to him about how dangerous Zombie Mountain is, The Sparrow had to insure that her fate would be in his hands. Unfortunately for the Sparrow and the rest of King’s Landing, Cersei is ready to make everyone pay.

5. Jon Snow (Previously 8th)

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I can’t wait for The Battle of The Bastards. Ramsay may have more men but Jon’s army has more purpose. In these big battles, he’s 1-1 (The Wall and Hardhome) but he comes away accomplishing what he set out to do. Jon is a great leader in battle and has proven warriors all around him. Can’t help but think there will be some surprises that go in his favor as well.

6. Sansa Stark (Previously 9th)

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It is the Stark name that is on the line in the upcoming battle with Ramsay, which Sansa has, but it’s Jon that the bulk of their forces (Free Folk) are fighting for. She makes a great point in the teaser, that she knows Ramsay better, however it will be Jon doing the fighting on the battlefield. I still stand by the X-Factor being Sansa’s Raven coming through in the clutch…that coming in the form of Littlefinger and the Vale.

7. Ser Davos (Previously 4th)

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There is a lot of Davos in the teaser, and rightfully so. This is the battle that he wanted to fight for Stannis and will have his former king in mind when doing so.

8. Bran Stark (Previously 3rd)

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I don’t think there’s any question that Bran could be the most powerful character on the series, with the potential ability to even turn Dany’s dragons against her, but he hasn’t realized it yet. He also doesn’t seem to have a bearing on the result of this battle that his siblings are heavily involved with. Have to imagine we’ll get some more clarity on him before the season is up though.

9. Queen Margaery (Previously 6th)

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Margaery is still playing the game but now it seems more for survival. Cersei isn’t going to let her fate be l decided by the High Sparrow and I don’t think Margaery wants Lancel’s to be either. At this point, she can help Cersei or sit idly by as queen and possibly be literally burned for it. Her note to Olenna signified that she is still loyal to House Tyrell at this point.

10. The Hound (Previously 21st)

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Sandor got his revenge for Brother Ray in a hurry. After seeing him chop in his path to pieces, we were reminded just how dangerous The Hound really is. Teaming up with Beric gives him some direction again has seems to be concerned with doing more good than evil with the rest of his life. What gives him the edge over his now undead brother is the fact he has control over his life…

11. Zombie Mountain (Previously 20th)

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…but even if Gregor is at Cersei’s bidding, he’s practically an unstoppable force. He made ripping off the Faith Militant member’s head look way too easy.

12. Benjen Stark (Previously 12th)

Benjen

Healed the same way White Walkers were created, Benjen knows a thing or two about how to defeat them. As forces, like the Brotherhood Without Banners, start heading north to fight the REAL war, Benjen will be one of their best weapons after Bran.

13. Arya Stark (Previously 46th)

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Arya has her name back and she’s getting the hell out of Braavos. That’s a win for all of us. Seems like fighting in the dark is her strong suit too. Let’s just hope her siblings are still alive when she gets back.

14. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 18th)

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PLEASE LET THIS NEXT EPISODE BE RAMSAY’S LAST!

15. Petyr Baelish (Previously 14th)

Little Finger

I see Jon and Ramsay’s armies tearing each other to shreds. When things look the bleakest for the Starks, then Lord Baelish and his Vale fighters can clean house…like the Riders of Rohan in The Two Towers.

There are quite a few similarities to Lord of The Rings. Can’t blame me when I make them.

16. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 19th)

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Tormund was one of the most impressive warriors in the Free Folk’s siege on Castle Black. The Bolton army is going to be heavily armed and better skilled than the “Crows”, but Tormund and his people know what’s at stake and are more battle tested as well. Of those fighting for Jon and Sansa, he and the free folk will have the most heart (and numbers) doing so.

17. Drogon (Previously 23rd)

Drogon S6

Who is ready to see Drogon light up some Masters…

18. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 25th)

Rhaegal Viserion

…and with his brothers.

19. Wun Wun (Previously 24th)

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I love the visual in the teaser of Wun Wun chokeslamming dudes right and left. I don’t know if he makes it out of the battle alive, but I do know he’s going to take a ton of jerks with him.

20. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 10th)

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Tyrion’s face when he saw Dany walk into the room reminded me of what it’s like when your parents come home early while you’re throwing a party. It’s not really fair to let Tyrion fall this far, considering he did bring some stability to the people of Meereen, but he did underestimate the Masters…That’s why there are giant fireballs being thrown at the city.

Without Varys to have his back, will Tyrion be in Dany’s doghouse or will he be able to regain everyone’s trust as an advisor.

21. Cersei Lannister (Previously 11th)

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Cersei doesn’t just get put in the corner by Tommen. She get’s her heartbroken as her only remaining son turns his back on her. The Trial by Combat felt like it was in the bag, but now she has to take the most desperate of measures…for survival and revenge.

That rumor she was referring to with Qyburn may have to do with the massive supply of Wildfire. We’ve seen that movie before…

22. Brienne (Previously 13th)

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As Brienne said, she failed. Her job was to convince The Blackfish to help Sansa’s forces and she couldn’t. It was a valiant effort though and her exchange with Jaime showed how much respect he has for her. There may have been some foreshadowing too when they suggested it could eventually come to face-off.

23. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 17th)

Euron

The assault on Meereen by the Masters may be as good a nudge as any for Daenerys and company to finally get going to Westeros. They need ships though and Euron has a leg up on Yara and Theon. It was Euron’s idea to align with Daenerys in the first place. He must have a plan once he meets her.

24. Daario Naharis (Previously 26th) 

Daario

Daario will be ready for some action when he returns to Meereen. Learning a thing or two from Jorah should help too. Still concerned with how well the Sons of the Harpy were able to organize and get Daenerys to flee in the first place. Either Daario puts his #TrueDetective skills to use or I’ll go back to having my suspicions about him.

25. Varys (Previously 16th)

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Interesting how Varys got out of Dodge right before things heated up. I do believe he is invested in helping Daenerys and Tyrion. What kind of help is he looking for in Westeros though? Greyjoys? Starks? Glovers?

26. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 27th)

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If there’s one thing you can say about Baratheon’s, they sure don’t last on the Iron Throne. Tommen may have mad his last decree by turning on his mother but for now, he’s keeping the crown occupied.

27. Kevan Lannister (Previously 14th)

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I don’t get what Kevan has to gain from being a jerk to Cersei and Jaime. They might not have the best reputations but they are family…and they are dangerous.

28. Grey Worm (Previously 36th)

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Big episode for Grey Worm:

  1. Got to tell his first “joke”.
  2. Made Missandei laugh.
  3. Told Tyrion “I told you so”.
  4. Got his queen back.

Now Grey Worm fights and maybe that makes him happy, a little.

29. Edmure Tully (Previously 73rd)

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Even if it’s all thanks to Jaime, Edmure made the biggest swing in the rankings by going from zero to Lord of Riverrun. Can’t blame him for getting upset with the Blackfish…ya know, for telling the Freys to go ahead and kill him.

30. Beric Dondarrion (Previously NR)

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This is exactly how I feel about Ser Beric.

Sorry that killed your buzz, Stoneheart fanatics.

31. Thoros of Myr (Previously NR)

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Of all the Lord of Light magicians, Thoros has shown to have the most practice bringing people back to life. He also has a very clear idea of who the real enemy is up in the North…

32. Bronn (Previously 32nd)

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Bronn has no chill, and that’s why we love him. I thought his admission to preferring the “little” Lannister brother more was great. What happens in the scenario when Jaime has to go against either Brienne or Tyrion in the future?

33. Ghost (Previously 33rd)

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The time to avenge his siblings is near…

34. Melisandre (Previously 30th)

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Melisandre has been uncharacteristically quiet since the 3rd episode. Her powers will needed for this coming battle though.

35. Missandei (Previously 35th)

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Dharma and Greg aka Missandei and Grey Worm were super adorable during their wine tasting with Tyrion. It was very impressive how quick she was to grab a knife though when the pyramid seemed to be under attack.

36. Lyanna Mormont (Previously 34)

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I don’t know how much fighting Lyanna will do this Sunday, but it sounds like her “Bear” fighters are going to do some impressive damage.

37. Robin Arryn (Previously 52nd)

Robin

Who woulda thunk that Robin would end up being a potential X-Factor, and could possibly save Sansa (who slapped him) from impending Bolton doom. I would be very surprised if her Raven was intended for anyone else.

38. Dim Dalba (Previously 41st)

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Usually new Wildlings are introduced to us and then go out in a blaze of glory right after. I don’t expect much different from Dim Dalba, but I bet he takes quite a few Flayed Men with him.

39. Yohn Royce (Previously 49th)

Royce

Redemption time is near. Hopefully Commander Royce doesn’t betray Sansa again.

40. Smalljon Umber (Previously 62nd)

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Of everyone participating in the Battle of Bastards, I trust a guy named Smalljon the least. But being a part of the battle and offering a ton of trips makes him more valuable than several after him.

41. Harald Karstark (Previously 63rd)

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…still wondering if the Karstarks flip, like Sansa suggested.

 

42. Qyburn (Previously 50th)

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Qyburn kinda lives for chaos. After all the shit he gets from Pycelle, I hope he gets to kill the old coot.

43. Kinvara (Previously 22nd)Kinvara

Yes, her priestesses helped bring stability to Meereen. But we didn’t even see her at work and that really didn’t last long.

44. Jorah Mormont (Previously 28th)

Ser Jorah

Somebody’s going to be really lucky when this guy shows up…Just unsure of who or where.

45. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 29th)

Edd

Things pretty quiet at Castle Black in the Edd era?

46. Jaqen H’ghar (Previously 31st)

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I still don’t know what to make of Jaqen. Sending Waif after Arya was apparently further training. He wasn’t too beat up over her decision to leave the and stop talking in the 3rd person. Was he just a murderous Jedi Master, preparing Arya for what’s to come? Does he follow her on the journey out of Braavos?

47. Meera (Previously 42nd)

Meera

She has spent the majority of this season sitting, but as we know…Bran Stark is going to need her.

48. Podrick Payne (Previously 45th)

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Pod’s “Little Brother” demeanor continues to be adorable after 6 seasons and I appreciate him owning up to his squire role to Brienne, while also trying to grow as a fighter.

49. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 39th)

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The race to Daenerys is officially on between Euron and Yara, but I don’t know how either one will help immediately as Meereen is under siege. As mentioned before, Euron and has Iron Born army  seem to have the leg up.

50. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 40th)

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If Varys was going to search for help, at least he has Theon to relate to.

51. Samwell Tarly (Previously 43rd)

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I am going to stand by my prediction that Samwell and Jorah cross paths sooner than later.

52. Gilly (Previously 44th)

Gilly

Still hope she kept the dress.

53. Robett Glover (Previously 51st)

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It would be quite a nice break if House Glover joined the Vale in helping Sansa fight Ramsay.

54. Walder Frey (Previously 60th)

Walder Frey

Old and creepy as fuck, but he did get his way. The idea to bargain with Edmure was his as well.

55. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 47th)

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Getting out of King’s Landing was the smartest thing Olenna could do, as Cersei seems prepared to burn it all down. As much as she despises Cersei, her plotting abilities could prove helpful to carry out that plan.

56. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 59th)

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I would think Aeron has assumed the role as Euron’s righthand-man.

57. Rickon Stark (Previously 61st)

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Part of me hopes Ramsay has left Rickon alive, as a way to gain support of the rest of the North. The other part of me knows how horrible Ramsay is and I’m worried we’ll see Rickon’s head on a pike at the Battle of the Bastards.

58. Lothar Frey (Previously 70th)

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At least Lothar gets that Jaime is the boss.

59. Walder Rivers (Previously 69th)

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Severe case of “Bitch Face”.

60. Ellaria Sand (Previously 52nd)

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I have not been able to update her photo since the premiere…

61. Tyene Sand (Previously 53rd)

Tyene

…or hers…

62. Nymeria Sand (Previously 54th)

Nymera

…or hers…

63. Obara Sand (Previously 55th)

Obara

…I don’t think I’ll ever update her’s. This one’s pretty good.

64. Septa Unella (Previously 48th)

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Who do you think gets to kill the Septa: Cersei or Margaery?

65. Melessa Tarly (Previously 57th)

Melessa

 

The real boss of House Tarly.

66. Randyll Tarly (Previously 58th)

Randyl

Has he organized the search party for his sword yet?

67. Talla Tarly (Previously 65th)

Talla

Going to make this a weekly reminder that Talla was hushed when mentioning the guy she is set to marry…and that might matter.

68. Dickon Tarly (Previously 66th)

Dickon

When trying to guess what Chicago suburb Dickon may have come from, I would peg him as either a Lake Forest or Barrington bro. You know exactly what I mean, if you’re from the area.

69. Lancel Lannister (Previously 67th)

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Lancel’s face as The Mountain popped off his faith militant buddy’s head…was…priceless.

70. Lhazareen (Previously 71st)

Lhazareen

Welcome to Meereen.

71. Ser Loras (Previously 72nd)

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THERE’S STILL HOPE FOR YOU LANCEL! I BELIEVE IT (not really).

72. Mace Tyrell (Previously 74th)

Mace

How does this guy standby and watch Tommen basically condemn his only son?

73. Maester Pycelle (Previously 75th)

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Admit it, you thought Pycelle was just farting the entire time he was whispering to Tommen.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Game of Thrones Power Rankings: S6 Ep7 “There Will Be Blood”

Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.

When Game of Thrones elects to start an episode with a cold open, rather than their heart pumping theme, there’s usually a good reason for it. I’ve personally used my puppy emoji in texts and tweets way more than I had before thanks to the open. Unfortunately we had a short-lived experience with one HBO’s all-time great alums…

McShane of Thrones

This will not be the last we see of Ian McShane as he will be starring in Neil Gaiman’s American Gods coming to STARZ in 2017. If you love Thrones, I recommend giving Gaiman’s book a read and preparing for what should be an awesome TV adaptation. McShane will play Mr. Wednesday, and he may be the best actor for it.

But that’s not why you called…

#CleganeBowl is back on. Arya needs to get out of Braavos. Yara gets some. The Queen of Thorns throws serious shade. Jon and Sansa are on the recruiting trail. Oh, and Brynden Tully has zero Fucks to give. Also, FINALLY…A CASTLE WITH A MOAT!

1. Daenerys (Previously 1st)

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Daenerys Stormborn remains Queen of the Rankings, even without an appearance this week. Daenerys’ reputation is growing rapidly, as we see Yara and Theon banking their futures on aligning with her to take back the Iron Isles. We know that she and her dragons are key to defeating “Winter”, that the high Red priestess believes has foreseen her rule, and her army is only growing. Which Greyjoy tandem will she choose to get her ships though…Euron & Aeron or Yara & Theon?

2. The Night King (Previously 2nd)

Night's King

The Night King is only referenced in the episode, but he is part of the compelling argument that Davos makes at House Mormont. Davos fully understands that it’s all of humanity vs. The Night King, and that’s why we hold him in lofty regard.

3. Bran Stark (Previously 3rd)

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Bran’s understanding of his powers is just getting stronger and Benjen is there to remind him how important that is.

4. Ser Davos (Previously 13th)

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Davos reminded us again how excellent a recruiter he is. When neither Jon or Sansa could convince Lady Mormont why she should put her people’s lives on the line for them, Davos did he his classic relatable thing and won her over. Despite snide remarks and glares from Sansa, she and Jon are much better off with his advisement than without it.

5. High Sparrow (Previously 6th)

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The High Sparrow is certainly in the catbird seat. He is the puppet master and Tommen is his, well…ya know, which makes him the most powerful man in King’s Landing. Pressuring Margaery to give Tommen an heir and threatening her grandmother though? We saw her pass the note to Olenna, and he seems to be underestimating Cersei. I don’t think he’ll be sitting pretty for very long.

6. Queen Margaery (Previously 8th)

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The circumstances are not ideal but Margaery is queen. She may have the Septa lurking over her shoulder and appears to have bought in to the High Sparrow’s ways, but I think she is much more cunning than that. I also don’t believe she has totally sold out her brother like she says she has.

7. Brynden Tully (Previously 10th)

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The Blackfish is the most important variable to Sansa and Jon’s fight against Ramsay. If he can somehow het past the Lannister and Frey forces, there is hope for the Starks to have a formidable army. His willingness to let Edmure die in order to keep Riverrun and to stand with his back to Jaime (who stabbed his king in the back) shows how tough and arrogant this S.O.B. really is.

8. Jon Snow (Previously 5th)

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Jon finally seemed back to rallying form when he spoke with the Free Folk. He was humble yet forceful and convincing when speaking to their leaders about fighting with him, which is what we’ve come to love about Jon. He was knocked back a bit after a tough grilling from young Lady Mormont and a full out rejection from House Glover. However, he is exactly why the Starks have the bulk of their army and he’s ready to take them into battle as soon as possible to get Rickon back.

9. Sansa Stark (Previously 4th)

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This wasn’t a great episode for Sansa. When trying to remind Northerners of how she was treated and their allegiances to House Stark, the response was not subtle. Both Mormont and Glover suffered when serving her brother Rob, so her assertiveness was not greeted too kindly. The sass she gave Jon over having Davos as an advisor and scoffing at their forces was not a great look either. One can assume though that the letter she is writing will be going to Petyr Baelish…who has Vale forces ready to assist.

10. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 7th)

Tyrion

Based on the next episode’s description, we’re going to find out how well his propaganda experiment went. It was a well-thought out and calculated move to gain the trust of Meereen, after dealing with Slavers. Hopefully the philosophy doesn’t clash with Daenerys’ wishes, but at least he has her two other dragons on his side…

11. Cersei Lannister (Previously 9th)

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As Olenna pointed out, Cersei is missing a lot of backup. She does have her Zombie Mountain, Qyburn and a Trial by Combat coming. I would also think that she and Queen Margaery have a common interest, or more of an “enemy of my enemy” type bond. I don’t doubt her success in the Trial and I think she’ll be getting the blood she’s wanted all season long.

12. Benjen Stark (Previously 11th)

Benjen

Benjen is now the key to Bran realizing his full potential. Hopefully Jon gets to see him too.

13. Brienne (Previously 12th)

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If House Tully is going to make it to help Sansa and Jon, Brienne has reach Brynden before Jaime does with a sword. Brynden knows Brienne from her service to Catelyn, and Jaime knows her well too. We see the Blackfish pull out his sword in her presence and Jaime does a lot of shouting in the teaser. Maybe she brings the two to an understanding, as Jaime did promise Sansa would be safe to Brynden’s niece…?

14. Petyr Baelish (Previously 14th)

Petyr Baelish

Based on the assumption that the raven Sansa is sending was intended for Littlefinger, the Vale increases her and Jon’s odds immensely. Petyr Baelish is full of surprises though. How do we know he won’t flip flop sides on her…again?

15. Jaime Lannister (Previously 19th)

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The backhand Jaime gave to Walder Rivers would make Djokovic proud. Like Cersei, Jaime is looking for blood but I don’t know if he really wants to do it on behalf of the Freys. He clearly doesn’t respect them, and he’s even less inlined to serve either Tommen or The High Sparrow.

Something that has always struck me about Jaime though, despite his incest issues, is how important honor is to him. With Brynden out in the open and having his back turned, Jaime could’ve ended the whole dispute with a quick pull of his sword. Nope. That’s not how Jaime rolls.

16. Varys (Previously 16th)

Varys

Since we last saw Varys, he was getting burned bad by Kinvara. At this point, he’s still Tyrion’s most trusted advisor in a city they rule and he knows more about everything than anyone else. Will Kinvara keep terrorizing him though? She seems to know a bit too much about him.

17. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 17th)

Euron

Euron has a leg up on Yara and Theon getting to Daenerys. He obviously knows her reputation better from his travels and he is the one with access to building ships since he wears the crown. He has a Ramsay-esque screw loose and arrogance too that might not go over well with the Mother of Dragons.

18. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 18th)

Ramsay

This is a nice streak of Ramsay-less episodes.

19. Tormund (Previously 22nd)

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I can’t wait to see Tormund back in battle. I don’t understand the”Southerner” prejudice toward him and his people. They’re too respectful to hate. He did some nice rallying for Jon too with the other Free Folk leaders.

20. Zombie Mountain (Previously 11th)

Zombie Mountain

Mountain…Smash! From what we see in the teaser, THAT’s finally coming.

21. Sandor Clegane (Previously NR)

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Welcome back, Sandor Clegane!

I feel much better about predicting his return for the last few weeks. Here we find The Hound trying to be civilized and peaceful. How can’t you be with Ian McShane? Then after he felt sort of at home and helpful, some jerks kill his new friends and he’s out looking for blood.

There have been predictions that #CleganeBowl, the battle of the brothers, will be Cersei’s Trial by Combat. I think he has other unfinished business to take care of first, regarding the Brothers Without Banners who slaughtered his community, and the Trial is coming too soon for him to be making an appearance in King’s Landing.

22. Kinvara (Previously 24th)

Kinvara

Meereen’s Secretary of Propaganda is going to show us her stuff this coming week and I’m only curious how Daenerys feels about someone manipulating her people. We do know she’s very powerful though, considering she’s #1 on the Red Woman depth chart.

23. Drogon (Previously 20th)

Drogon S6

Death from above.

24. Wun Wun (Previously 31)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.40.27 AM

“Snow.”

He speaks! What would have his colleagues have done if he didn’t agree to help Jon though?

25. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 30th)

Rhaegal Viserion

Pumped for the family reunion.

26. Daario Naharis (Previously 27th)

Daario

I assume Daario will rank pretty high in Daenerys’ army when they return to Meereen. He’s really going to hate Euron though.

27. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 26th)

Tommen

Who is Tommen rooting for in the Trial by Combat? If his balls would drop, there wouldn’t even be one.

28. Jorah Mormont (Previously 25th)

Ser Jorah

After seeing more House Mormont, I would love to see Jorah get back home to help their cause. He seems a bit far away though and I’ll maintain that he’s going to be crossing paths with the Maesters at the Citadel to cure his greyscale.

29. Lord Commander Edd (Previously 29th)

Edd

If Bran’s coming to the Wall, he’s going to want Commander Edd’s help…who has also seen the White Walkers in action.

30. Melisandre (Previously 23rd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 9.58.44 AM

Melisandre has been in multiple episodes in a row now with zero impact since bringing Jon back to life. Whenever she’s ready to do something cool again, I’ll be waiting.

31. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 36th)

Jaqen 2.34.02 PM

What’s Jaqen’s plan for Waif, since she didn’t kill Arya quickly like he ordered? There is a theory that Waif is basically a figment of Arya’s imagination. If that’s true, then Jaqen’s powers are crazier than even I thought.

32. Bronn (Previously 33rd) 

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.46.48 AM

“A Lannister always pays his…”

“Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it!”

Missed you, Bronn.

33. Ghost (Previously 32nd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.34.24 AM

If Ramsay dies, I want Ghost to at least get a bite of him.

34. Lyanna Mormont (Newbie)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.03.44 AM

Who didn’t love this “talk to the hand” moment? She may have just 62 fighters, but Lyanna is more assertive and mature than any of the characters we’ve seen at her age. She also comes off as a responsible leader with her people in mind first. Davos made the best argument of all to recruit her as well, “the living vs the dead”.

35. Missandei (Previously 38th)

Missandei

Daenerys’ circle of trust is going to be pretty crowded when she gets back.

36. Grey Worm (Previously 39th)

Grey Worm

Grey Worm has some rage to unleash. Have not seen him swing his spear yet all season.

37. Ollenna Tyrell (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.44.18 AM

At least Olenna is finding joy in something, even if it’s Cersei’s failures. I don’t think she’s leaving King’s Landing quite yet without Cersei’s help.

38. Robin Arryn (Previously 52nd)

Robin

If Sansa is writing for Littlefinger’s help, then that makes Robin Arryn and his moon roof relevant again.

39. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 41)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.14.45 AM

Good for you, Yara. Happy she’s able to have “love” for a short bit before going on a mission that could get her killed. Maybe don’t tell the person who has your back the most to kill himself though…

40. Theon Greyjoy (Previously 42nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.12.43 AM

One question: If Theon is missing his manhood, where does all the ale he’s chugging go? Oh wait…grosssssss

41. Dim Dalba (Newbie)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.41.01 AM

I had no idea how tall this guy was until he walked up to brace forearms with Jon.

42. Meera (Previously 35th)

Meera

Being on Team Bran isn’t the safest, but it might be the most important place to be.

43. Samwell Tarly (Previously 52nd)

Samwell 1.25.56 PM

How soon will Sam put his family’s sword to use?

44. Gilly (Previously 37th)

Gilly

Does Gilly just keep wearing the dress wherever she goes and does Talla want it back?

45. Podrick (Previously 40th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.06.06 AM

I know Podrick-Bronn is the reunion we’ve all been waiting for.

46. Arya Stark (Previously 28th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.21.35 AM

GET OUT OF BRAAVOS ALREADY!

47. Waif (Previously 58th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.20.35 AM

Waif is totally going to regret not killing Arya when she had the chance. If she’s a Fight Club/Mr. Robot ripoff though, I’ll be pretty disappointed.

48. Septa Unella (Previously 62nd)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.34.54 AM

Septa moves up for still having some authority over Margaery, but I share Olenna Tyrell’s sentiments.

49. Yohn Royce (Previously 53rd)

Royce

If Petyr is coming to save the day for the Starks, Royce has his chance to redeem himself for selling Sansa out.

50. Qyburn (Previously 47th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.07.49 AM

Besides prepping The Mountain, Qyburn also gathers intel and should have some tricks up his sleeve when things get hairy for Cersei in King’s Landing.

51. Robett Glover (Newbie)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.11.16 AM

While I can’t condone his bigotry toward the Free Folk, he makes good points not wanting to jump into battle with Jon and Sansa. He saw this movie before with Rob, and he won’t put his people in danger without better odds.

52. Ellaria Sand (Previously 43rd)

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 11.30.59 AM

So we just gave up on the Sands entirely after the premiere, huh?

53. Tyene Sand (Previously 44th)

Tyene

I mean…

54. Nymeria Sand (Previously 45th)

Nymera

…what was the point of killing the Martels then?

55. Obara Sand (Previously 46th)

Obara

Seriously.

56. Lem Lemoncloak (Newbie) 

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 11.31.32 AM

Representing Brothers without Banners, the dude in the putrid colored cloak led a raid to kill a whole bunch of innocent and defenseless people. However, this may open the door to the return of ANOTHER character that we thought was dead…

That’s all I’ll say.

57. Melessa Tarly (Previously 49th)

Melessa

Melessa may be the last line of defense between Randyll and her son. Not sure how sympathetic she is after he left without saying bye though…

Kidding, she seems compassionate.

58. Randyll Tarly (Previously 50th)

Randyl

He’s, um, pleasent.

59. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 54th)

Aeron

How pruney are this guy’s fingers and feet after being in water so much?

60. Walder Frey (Previously 51)

Walder Frey

Creepy ass old man, whose sons can’t even conduct a proper siege.

61. Rickon Stark (Previously 57th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.13.17 AM

Anyone else worried that Rickon isn’t okay?

62. Smalljon Umber (Previously 48th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.14.11 AM

Is Smalljon code for something?

63. Harald Karstark (Previously 56th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.15.07 AM

…still wonder if the Karstarks flip, like Sansa suggested.

64. Lancel Lannister (Previously 63rd)

Lancel

 He leads the evil agents of the faith, but he’s going to be praying to anyone else who will listen when the Mountain gets to him.

65. Talla Tarly (Previously 59th)

Talla

Going to make this a weekly reminder that Talla was hushed when mentioning the guy she is set to marry…and that might matter.

66. Dickon Tarly (Previously 60th)

Dickon

Unfortunate name, bro.

67. Zanrush (Previously 61st)

Zanrush

This man has seen some things.

68. Lady Crane (Previously 64th)

Lady Crane

Ive cut out the rest of her acting group, but the hit on Lady Crane affected Arya enough to go rogue…

69. Walder Rivers (Previously 65th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.50.51 AM

How does the back of Jaime’s hand taste?

70. Lothar Frey (Previously 66th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.49.34 AM

The less assertive of the Frey douches.

71. Lhazareen (Previously 67th)

Lhazareen

Wonder how she’ll feel about Meereen.

72. Ser Loras (Previously 71)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.18.02 AM

Everybody but Cersei and Olenna has abandoned him…Maybe Margaery hasn’t either.

73. Edmure Tully (Previously 70th)

Screen Shot 2016-06-09 at 10.55.03 AM

Edmure, on the otherhand, was totally bailed on by Brynden. Sorry, dude. At least Jaime is getting him bathed and fed.

74. Mace Tyrell (Previously 72nd)

Mace

Still worthless.

75. Maester Pycelle (Previously 73rd)

Pycelle

Why is he still here? Seriously.

Anyone too high or too low in this week’s rankings? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.  Don’t forget to checkout The Piffcast, where we regularly discuss the show. 

 

More Power Rankings

S6 Ep. 1 – “Too Old For This Sh*t”

S6 Ep. 2 – “You Bastards!”

S6 Ep. 3 – “Oathbroken, Mic Drop”

S6 Ep. 4 – “Bow To Your Khaleesi”

S6 Ep. 5 – “What Willis Was Talking About”

S6 Ep. 6 – “The Ties That Bind”

S6 Ep. 7 – “There Will Be Blood”

S6 Ep. 8 – “I Choose Violence”

Bears of Thrones

As Free Agency kicked off a week ago, the Chicago Bears made it clear that Jay Cutler will be on their roster in 2015. Pro Bowl guard and 3rd year veteran Kyle Long went as far as declaring his allegiance to his quarterback…

And so, Cutler was dubbed the #OneTrueKingOfTheNorth.  It’s no secret that I am a huge geek…or obsessed with Thrones. So thanks to Long’s Tweet, I will take it a step further and align the 2015 Bears with characters from Game of Thrones (That’ll be stuck in your head forever). WARNING: MILD SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T CAUGHT UP ON THE SHOW. CONTINUE IF YOU DARE.

Jay Cutler / Stannis Baratheon

image1 Long has set the tone with his allegiance and it makes all the sense in the world (of Westeros). Cutler had knocked on the gates of a Super Bowl birth before he was knocked out with a torn MCL against the “Lannisters” of the NFC North, the Green Bay Packers. Sound familiar? Stannis Baratheon was dealt a similar hand at the Battle of Blackwater, blown away by a similar “Green” explosion.

Blackwater Packers

Neither Cutler nor Stannis are very likable to the public. Both can be viewed as underestimated to their opponents, but command loyalty from those closest to them. And you best believe Cutler has slayed some Wildlings in his day… (Picture this being the Vikings)

Slaying Wildlings

Kyle Long / Jon Snow

image2 Most Thrones geeks probably assumed I would have gone with Davos Seaworth, Stannis Baratheon’s righthand man, but I felt Long deserved a much more badass comparison…and there are some strong correlations. Long comes from a family rich in football prowess. While not a bastard, he is the son of a well respected warrior of the game (like Ned Stark). Kyle’s brother, Chris, built a reputation as one of the league’s elite defensive players before he came onto the scene. One hopes Chris doesn’t attend any shady arranged weddings in the near future. And Long has stepped up to lead his position group to protect his quarterback, much like the Night’s Watch at the wall.

Alshon Jeffery / Daenerys Targaryan

image3 Now hear me out, Alshon… Like Daenerys, Jeffery has proven naysayers wrong over the course of his young professional career. He was underrated in the draft, similar to when Daenerys acquired her Unsullied army from “The Masters” of Astapor. Jeffery’s skills and work ethic that helped him ascend to Pro Bowl status are like the Khaleesi’s dragons doing this to everyone in her path…

Jeffery has an opportunity to prove he is a #1 wide receiver like Daenerys, who is gunning for the throne of the seven kingdoms.

Alshon Browns catch

Matt Forte / Jamie Lannister

image4 Incest aside, Matt Forte and Jamie Lannister can be considered comparable for their accomplishments. Forte has always been a workhouse and a consistent weapon for the Bears offense and for multiple head coaches while Jamie served as captain of the Kingsguard under multiple kings. Both are getting up in age and have dealt with their share of injuries (Jamie losing his hand is a lot more severe than anything Forte has dealt with), but have plenty to offer still. Oh, and Bears…

Thrones Bear gif

Martellus Bennett / Tyrion Lannister

image6 Like Tyrion is to all of Game of Thrones, Martellus Bennett is a unique individual on the Bears roster. Both have a great sense of humor. Neither care what others think of them. And when the moment counts most, they can get the job done in the clutch. Bennett will come up with the big play against a division rival…

Marty GW TD

…and Tyrion will rally his troops against impending doom.

Eddie Royal / Barristan Selmy

image5 Neither Eddie Royal or Barristan Selmy are flashy names, but they are helpful pieces to their respective teams and both are quality free agent signings. I mentioned how Jeffery is like Daenerys already…Royal’s skill set can potentially make Jeffery better by forcing team’s to respect the slot more. That pulls coverage away from Jeffery that would allow him to shine, just like Barristan providing council to Daenerys. image7 Proven veterans who both could use a bounce back season. Jermon Bushrod is Pro Bowl left tackle who had difficulties blocking in year 2 of his Bears tenure. Sir Jorah was recently cast away by Daenerys for losing her trust. Both were meant to play big parts in achieving greatness, whether it be a Super Bowl or control of the Iron Throne, and both have the ability to make a comeback.

Jared Allen / The Hound

image8 Outside of similar appearances, both Jared Allen and The Hound are defectors of their longstanding teams. Allen (former Viking) and Sandor Clegane (formerly employed by the Lannisters) are also looking to return to form and regain the feared reputation they both once had.

Pernell McPhee / The Mountain

image9

In his Bears introductory press conference, Pernell McPhee was asked to describe himself.

“I’m violent.” And that was it.

Pernell sack

Also violent and a man of few words, meet Gregor Clegane…

The Mountain

Ego Ferguson / Hodor

image10 Transitioning to a 3-4 defense, the Bears need to identify a nose tackle to eat space up the middle. Hodor would be an AWESOME 0-technique…and Ego Ferguson also seems to fit the bill as well. I’d also like to hear Ferguson do an entire interview just saying “Ego.”

Willie Young / Daario Naharis

image11 In his first year with the Bears, Willie Young was a quarterback assassin. Daario is not very different, playing deadly mercenary for Team Targaryen. Hoping Young can return fully healed, and in Vic Fangio’s 3-4 system, let’s hope to see more of this…

Daario GIF

Followed by this…

Willie Sack dance

Antrel Rolle / Davos Seaworth

image12 Antrel Rolle is another new Bears addition but there are two things he brings to the defensive side of the ball: Loyalty and Leadership. It’s been very cool to hear Rolle speak on his experience in New York and it sounds a lot like what Davos brings to Stannis Baratheon’s camp. Loyal to a fault, not afraid to speak his mind, a warrior, and adaptable.

Antrel Rolle

Kyle Fuller / Bran Stark

image15 Unlike Bran Stark, Kyle Fuller still has the use of legs. But LIKE Bran, Fuller has the potential for big things. After an excellent first month in the league, Fuller had a tough rest of the season. He was forced into a starting cornerback role after Charles Tillman was ruled out for the season and had a quick “Welcome to the League” experience against the league’s best wide receivers. Fuller has the skills and makeup to improve though, and you can’t help but get excited for what’s next…like Bran Stark.

Jon Bostic / Arya Stark

image13 Sure, on the outside the two are nothing alike…but think about it. Jon Bostic has been out of position for most of career, mis-casted as a middle linebacker and a strongside linebacker when he was best suited for weakside linebacker. Arya Stark was raised to be proper and in a world of aristocrats while she is truly meant to handle a sword. Both play with a chip on their shoulder and strike like they have some serious anger issues. Don’t be surprised if both have breakout seasons in new positions coming up.

Bostic hit

Have some more Football & Thrones comparisons on your mind? Or maybe you just want to geek out some more about sports and TV? Let me know on Twitter @Mike_PiFF03