Each week, we give every episode at least 24 hours to breathe and for you to get caught up. After that, you’re clicking at your own risk. Spoilers ahead.
This wasn’t the most exciting of episodes for many, but it was for me. Jon’s awake and alive. The Tower of Joy fight scene was excellent. Arya aka ‘No One’ is finally getting interesting again. Cersei and Jaime are back to being Cersei and Jaime. And…
…justice was served. Suck it, Olly
1. Jon Snow (Previously 1st)
Nothing makes sense to Jon after he’s woken up. The last thing he remembers was Olly and the conspirators stabbing him in the heart for doing what he felt was right. Then he he got to know “nothing” really well in the afterlife. As Tormund said, the men baring witness to Jon’s resurrection see him as a god. He has also freed himself from his duties of the Night’s Watch…because he served until it ended (he died).
Where does Jon go now? He has the support of Castle Black, the Wildlings, Davos and Melisandre. Hopefully Sansa catches him in time before he goes anywhere.
2. Tyrion Lannister (Previously 2nd)
Tyrion quoting himself as “a wise man” and wanting to play “Never Have I Ever…” was one of my favorite things from this young season. As slow as the Meereen storyline may be, Tyrion is in his element calling shots and gathering every bit of an advantage as he can against those who oppose him. You also get the feeling he was trying to dig into Greyworm and Missandei’s pasts a little too.
3. Ser Davos (Previously 3rd)
“Now go fail again.”
Davos seems like the ultimate bring-back-to-life coach. As Melisandre comes in throwing prophecies and purpose at Jon after JUST RISING FROM THE DEAD, Davos slows the roll while instilling some direction. He and Melisandre are similar in the way that they are better served as council and motivation for their leader. Davos is much less abrasive than Melisandre which should help Jon transition to his new arc better.
4. Cersei Lannister (Previously 5th)
Technically Cersei isn’t the queen, but she sure is acting like one. Since regaining Tommen’s trust, Cersei is back to her old self and looking for vengeance. She has Varys’s “little birds” reporting to her about everything everyone is saying (if only she had Twitter), Jaime, and Zombie Mountain. The old folks that walked away from her at the table might be in for a rude awakening.
5. Varys (Previously 10th)
Seeing Varys pull the backdoor deals is an underrated aspect to the show. It is indeed a game for power and as the G.I. Joes say, “knowing is half the battle.” Varys also takes an honorable approach, choosing negotiations over torture to find out about the Meereen’s conspirators.
6. Night’s King (Previously 6th)
The Night’s King will occupy this spot until we see him again. All you need for reference is the“Hardhome” episode.
7. Melisandre (Previously 4th)
This was Melisandre’s “Young Frankenstein” moment, although after the fact. Getting shown the door, subtly, puts her behind Davos but they both have the same goals for Jon. Davos sees Jon as a beacon of justice for Westeros and Melisandre sees him as the destined ruler. I don’t see her allowing Jon to leave Castle Black without her by his side, based on her prophecy.
8. The High Sparrow (Previously 12th)
The High Sparrow is a master manipulator, isn’t he? Seeing him sit down and bring King Tommen to his level on the bench signified the power he may have. I also get the feeling Tommen is being used as bait to get the Sparrow’s hopes up before Cersei brings it all crashing down. This is a game, after all.
9. Tormund Giantsbane (Previously 8th)
The Wildling leader is by far the most distinctive in both appearance and presence. Providing some comic relief for Jon was cool too. Similar to Melisandre and Davos, he and his army will likely go where Jon goes.
10. Ramsay Bolton (Previously 14th)
It’s hard to hate any character on TV more than this one, but everything seems to be coming up Ramsay these days. He defeated Stannis’s army. Winterfell is his. And now he has his Stark (Rickon). Nobody wins forever on this show though. Umber may have tipped us off a little, using Roose pledging his allegiance to Rob Stark as an example of why he won’t kneel to Ramsay.
11. Zombie Mountain (Previously 11th)
Pretty sure Zombie Mountain made Maester Pycelle shit himself. When Ser Gregor Clegane gets to participate in another trial by combat, there’s going to be a lot more of that happening…and blood.
12. Jaime Lannister (Previously 13th)
Jaime is doing and saying all the right things by his family and King’s Landing. He also gave the elders, like his uncle and the Tyrells, a chance to work together. He leads the King’s Guard and that will come in handy when he and Cersei take the Sparrow’s keep.
13. Sansa Stark (Previously 7th)
Getting to Castle Black will be huge for Sansa. Even without Jon in charge, Dolorous Edd sympathizes with him and likely will with Sansa as well. Word can then spread that the Starks are back in business, that the Wildlings are united with Castle Black, and hopefully “the North remembers” what the Boltons did.
14. Brienne (Previously 9th)
It would be nice for Brienne to finally get some backup, especially protecting Sansa. We’ve seen her hold her own in a Bolton camp, in King’s Landing and in battle. Working with the Night’s Watch should be an upgrade in circumstances.
15. Wun Wun (Previously 15th)
Stone Cold Wun Wun. I’m going to have THIS in everyone’s heads when they see him again.
16. LORD COMMANDER Edd (Previously 18th)
Dolorous Edd stepped up and took over for Jon on top of the wall in battle. He does it again for all of Castle Black. Having fought at Hardhome gives him better experience than most to lead the Night’s Watch when Winter finally comes too.
17. Khal Moro (Previously 18th)
From within the giant Dothraki camp, Khal Moro is the best chance Daenerys has. He obviously respects her and could have punished her for going out on her the minute he met her. So he will have some sway when the council that decides her fate meets. I also think he will key for any possible alliance Daenerys forms with the Dothraki and her city of Meereen.
18. Petyr Baelish (Previously 21st)
As Civil War appears to be shaping up in the North, Little Finger is going to play a major role in who wins. My money is on his feelings for Sansa Stark, which I already believe is the winning side.
19. Jaqen H’gar (Previously 28th)
Mr. Mysterious seems to have big plans for Arya in Braavos and maybe further, as he has her hit list and all he would need to know about her. And he can take away and give back sight, so he gets more interesting every episode.
20. “No One” formerly Arya (Previously 33rd)
A girl has no name, so I guess we can’t call her Arya anymore…
Now that she’s graduated from the Daredevil school of blind fighting, “No One” is more dangerous than ever. I hope someone has dubbed the Rocky IV montage music to her “training scene” too.
21. Rhaegal & Viserion (Previously 24th)
Best thing Tyrion (and Daenerys) has going for himself are these dragons. When diplomacy fails, dragon fire will certainly do when it comes to those trying to overthrow Meereen.
22. Daenerys Stormborn (Previously 12th)
We’ve seen this movie before with Daenerys, and come on…ENOUGH of the name dropping already, please? That doesn’t seem to be going well so far this season. The Khal widow trying to compare herself to Daenerys doesn’t realize who she’s dealing with though, and I don’t see the Dothraki council’s decision playing much of a factor in her future with her best men and probably a dragon looking for her.
23. The Three-Eyed Raven (Previously 22nd)
Okay, Raven…what have you been doing with Bran for the last year if he hasn’t learned “everything” already? If it wasn’t for the Three-Eyed Raven, we wouldn’t have seen that awesome fight scene from the Tower of Joy. But then again, he did cut it short on us…That’s so Raven.
24. Bran Stark (Previously 23rd)
Learn EVERYTHING already, Bran. Then change the world like you were meant to.
25. Leaf (Previously 29th)
She throws fireballs, guys. Like Super Mario.
26. Ghost (Previously 27th)
I’d say Ghost has some revenge to exact on the jerks who keep killing his family members…just saying.
27. Tommen Baratheon (Previously 19th)
I want to think Tommen is playing The Sparrow and trying to earn his trust, but nothing has really suggested that he isn’t easily manipulated by anyone. He wants to see his wife and he wants to make things up to his mother. Hopefully his balls have dropped finally and he can start acting like a king to make both happen.
28. Ellaria Sand (Previously 20th)
Haven’t seen Ellaria since she made Dorne bloody with Martel blood, but she is in charge. However, now she’s got Cersei’s birds spying on her…so have fun with that.
29. Olenna Tyrell (Previously 45th)
The “Queen of Thorns” finally graced us with her presence, but I don’t think she’s being very savvy by being defiant with Cersei and Jaime. We know she doesn’t care for either of them, being responsible for Joffrey’s death, but they are probably the best chance she has to getting Margaery out. Then again, Cersei is the reason why both Margaery and Loras are in the mess that they are…so point taken.
30. Qyburn (Previously NR)
The original Dr. Frankenstein on the show has now found out how Varys gathered his information. Be honest though, you were worried those candied plums were poisoned too. Things like that happen in King’s Landing.
31. Euron Greyjoy (Previously 25th)
“I am the storm.” – Looking forward to what that means in the upcoming episode and how it will effect Theon’s return.
32. Yara Greyjoy (Previously 26th)
There seem to be a lot of politics going on in this season. A Dothraki council deciding Daenerys’s fate. A high council in King’s Landing at odds. Meereen’s council dealing with surrounding cities. Now another deciding who will lead the Iron Islands. Yara has put in the time to rule and become the first woman to do so. What will Theon returning and Euron have to do with that though?
33. Kevan Lannister (Previously 38th)
Kevan not listening to his niece and nephew at the council table reminded me of, well…Congress. Not being proactive to avenge them and standing by while the king’s wife is still being held by the High Sparrow isn’t a good look for the current Hand.
34. Tyene Sand (Previously 31st)
If attention is being brought back to Dorne, as Cersei and Jaime have suggested, that only means Tyene will be back in action. She would also appears keen enough to snuff out Qyburns newly recruited birds.
35. Hodor (Previously 30th)
What you talk’n bout, Willis…er…Hodor?
36. Ser Jorah Marmont (Previously 36th)
#TrueDetectiveSeason3 continues…
And you can imagine Ser Jorah will catch up to Daenerys in time before this Dothraki council seals her fate.
37. Daario Naharis (Previously 37th)
…part 2 of #TrueDetectiveSeason3. My suspicions have shifted a little from Daario to the other Meereen power couple, but not entirely…
38. Aeron Greyjoy (Previously 44th)
It would appear Aeron will have a lot to say when it comes to who leads the Iron Islands next. How much will it matter though?
39. Gilly (Previously 49th)
Gilly’s joy at sea was so delightful. Having a stronger stomach puts her ahead of Samwell too, but you have to admire her for trusting his decision to leave her and Little Sam with his family. Kinda get a feeling how that will go though…
40. Samwell Tarley (Previously 48th)
Samwell has no idea what Jon’s been through. It’s going to be fun to see when he finds out. Training to become a Maester will make a big difference to assist Jon, but you have to wonder how safe he and Gilly will be with a family that sent him to Castle Black in the first place.
41. Smalljon Umber (Newbie)
I’m wildly torn on Smalljon Umber. Talking down to both Ramsay and Harald Karstark was very entertaining. Killing Shaggydog and handing Rickon over to them was not. I’m still not totally sure Ramsay should be trusting him, which counts as hope for the rest of us…I guess?
42. Harald Karstark (Previously 49th)
Harald has positioned himself nicely in a potential empire, but nobody who gets close to Ramsay stays there…or alive.
43. Nymeria Sand (Previously 40th)
Still doing great Indiana Jones impressions, I’m sure.
44. Obara Sand (Previously 41st)
The “Obara’s Not Impressed” face would make a pretty good meme.
45. Rickon Stark (Previously 52nd)
Hey, it’s Rickon! Oh no, Ramsay has him. Sucks to be Rickon.
46. Missandei (Previously 42nd)
Missandei hasn’t been particularly warm to Tyrion or his methods of managing Meereen. She knows the Masters’ practices pretty well and scoffs at Tyrion’s suggestion that they’ll try to be diplomatic with the leaders of the other cities. When Tyrion suggested they play a game to learn about her and Grey Worm’s pasts, that got me wondering whether or not there was more to her story than we knew.
47. Grey Worm (Previously 43rd)
Where Missandei goes these days, Grey Worm follows. He also seems tentative around Tyrion. I don’t see him turning on his own Unsullied, but he would do anything for her…I hope I’m wrong about this notion.
48. Podrick Payne (Previously 34th)
I know this is a hefty slide for Pod, but I’m not sure how useful he’ll be in Castle Black. Then again, Pod is just full of surprises.
49. Waif (Previously 32nd)
Well, now that Arya’s training is done, who is Waif going to take joy in beating up now?
50. Khal Savo’s widow (Newbie)
This woman should be enough motivation for Daenerys to not stick around Vaes Dothrak. This is you if you stick around, Stormborn.
51. Queen Margaery (Previously 46th)
Margaery’s situation remains shitty until Tommen, Cersei and the King’s Guard make their move on the Sparrows. But she’s serving as motivation for them and her grandmother to do something soon.
52. Bronn (Previously 47th)
When does Jaime enlist Bronn for help again? I hope soon.
53. Drogon (Previously 50th)
…still licking his wounds, I suppose?
54. Meera (Previously 51st)
Still feeling sorry for herself, but her father being a part of Bran’s vision of the Tower of Joy should change things, and hopefully will bring the two closer together.
55. Osha (Previously 53rd)
Being presented to Ramsay as a gift is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy…Then again, I’m a pretty spiteful person.
56. Septa Unella (Previously 54th)
Your time will come, Septa. (so says the Iron Maiden tune)
57. Lancel Lannister (Previously 57th)
…yours too, Lancel. Probably in the Trial By Combat against Zombie Mountain. Don’t suppose Cersei will hesitate to let him get crushed.
58. Ser Loras Tyrell (Previously 56th)
Still don’t feel great about Loras’s odds.
59. Mace Tyrell (Previously 59th)
Even Hodor says more than this jerk.
60. Maester Pycelle (Previously NR)
Congrats, Master Pycelle! You’ve taken Olly’s place as last in the rankings. And you shit yourself.
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