Upcoming Sequels & Reboots: What To Say YES or NOPE To

One of the biggest cliches regarding Hollywood and film is that “original material is dead”. To the people who feel that way, I would recommend going to their nearest theater and checking out Room and Bridge of Spies. We do seem to receive news on a daily basis of an upcoming reboot or sequel to a classic that’s either been long overdue or way too late.

Some of these projects are exciting and give us something to look forward to. Others just make you shake your head and ask…”Why?”

A remake to a film or franchise can be refreshing. Most of us are Shawshanked (naturally forced to sit and watch the rest of the way through, no matter the time) whenever Ocean’s Eleven comes on TV, the George Clooney version and not the 1960 Frank Sinatra one. Did you see the Footloose remake though? Neither did I.

There are a number of reboots and sequels coming to theaters in the next year or so. Many of the original titles are decades old. I’ll here to separate what’s worth the hype and what’s not.

 

Yes!

Yes

(Movies To Look Forward To)

Zoolander 2 (2016)

Although the original was released 15 years before this sequel hits theaters, it still works because the two stars NEVER AGE. Seriously, whatever moisturizer these guys are using makes 15 years look like 5.

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…and they’re killing off Bieber, so at least the movie has that going for it. Just avoid anything the Anchorman did. Seriously.

 

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Aside from jerks who lack imagination, everyone is looking forward to this film and rightfully so. The build up and marketing for Episode VII has been remarkably. While it’s been over 30 years since Han Solo was unfrozen from carbonite on the screen, chills ran down my spine hearing him say “…we’re home”, alongside a Chewbacca roar.

Returning to a set that isn’t so dependent on CGI and green screen like Episodes I-III has audiences excited. It’s also fun for both new and old generations of fans to see new characters on new adventures with old ones.

 

Spider-Man (2017)

Spider-Man

I, like many, was left with a really bad taste in my mouth after Spider-Man 3. It bothered me so much that I didn’t even see the Andrew Garfield version until I happened upon it on FX like a month ago…and I still didn’t feel like I missed out.

Now that Spider-Man is home in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, my spidey senses are tingling again (yeah, I said it). We’ll get our first look at the reboot edition in the highly anticipated Captain America: Civil Waras he chooses a side between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. This means we won’t have to go through ANOTHER origin radioactive spider bite story when Peter Parker gets his solo film in 2017. We also know he’ll be in high school played by an actor who is actually in the appropriate age-range, Tom Holland. Tobey Maguire and Garfield were both in their very late twenties when they played high school Peter Parker.

It will be fun to see how the new Spider-Man fits into the Marvel/Avengers story going forward and who he will face off with. Hopefully NOT the Green Goblin for a 3rd time.

 

Ghostbusters (2016)

Ghostbusters 2016

I really don’t get why the idea of this film is so controversial. It’s an expansion of the Ghostbusters universe and features a female dominant cast with Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy and current SNL cast members Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones. Bridesmaids director/Freaks and Geeks writer Paul Feig is teaming up with Parks and Recreation for what’s meant to be a series of new Ghostbusters films that Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson have not only signed off on, but plan to appear in as well.

Also, Chris Hemsworth is their receptionist, so…there’s that.

 

NOPE!

Nope

(Movies Nobody Asked For)

 

Momento 

Momento

AMBI Pictures, run by Andrea Iervolino and Monika Bacardi, announced this week that they will be financing a remake of Christopher Nolan’s breakout film, Momento. In the statement breaking the news, Bacardi said:

Memento is a masterpiece that leaves audiences guessing not just throughout the film, but long after as well, which is a testament to its daring approach.”

Then leave the damn thing alone! Better yet, just rerelease it theaters because it only made $25 million initially and was regarded as a modern classic right after. You can’t tell me though that anyone was asking for a new take or reimagining of this story.

 

Point Break (2015)

 

I’m convinced there is an evil group of film backers who want to remake Patrick Swayze’s whole filmography and in the worst ways possible. This is Exhibit A.

I understand there are different “extreme sports” being portrayed (snowboarding instead of surfing), but you could simply call the movie something else and change the character names to make it more appealing…Ya know, like The Fast and the Furious or something like that.

Here’s the original 1991 trailer.

“Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true…”, like a remake to this movie with worse actors.

 

Road House 

Road House

This is Exhibit B in the case for a Swayze movie conspiracy…

All we know about this movie is that Ronda Rousey has been casted to play Swayze’s character. A columnist for GQ, Jack Moore (who LOVES this idea), says this should work because “Ronda Rousey could end up being the new Patrick Swayze!”

Okay, I’m back from throwing up.

I’m not an MMA fan so I don’t share the adoration for Rousey as many people do. I also didn’t see The Entourage movie and don’t feel like I’m missing out. I have seen the other films she’s appeared in and don’t really want to again. I know that she’s the one thing that UFC has to promote itself and that she wants to join WWE. And like I said regarding the new Point Break, you can make the “Rousey as a bouncer” movie and not call it ‘Road House’. Rousey herself doesn’t sound all that confident about doing the film after telling reporters, “The worst thing that’s going to happen is, is that I’ll really suck and just disgrace the name of Swayze and ‘Road House,’ and everyone will hate me.”

+1 for self awareness.

 

Top Gun 2

Top Gun

I need this photo to have Maverick giving a thumbs down.

The original is almost 30 years old. Yeah, Tom Cruise is in fantastic shape and still kicking ass in the Mission Impossible franchise and Jack Reacher, but you’re not going to bring either Goose or Tony Scott back to get me excited for this sequel. There’s also a lot of confusion as to whether Cruise will even accept the offer to play Maverick again…Val Kilmer’s already editing his Facebook statuses about it, so it will probably go straight to DVD or VOD.

 

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

 

MSDINDA FE002

Will Smith isn’t signed up for this film so neither am I. Seriously, you could air it on SyFy after the next Sharknado and it will get as much hype as it would going to theaters.

(Sidenote: Not included is the long rumored Space Jam 2. Personally, I don’t mind if kids today get to see one featuring LeBron James because many of them weren’t even born while Michael Jordan was playing basketball. Just let that sink in…)

 

Any other reboots and sequels that interest you or make you sick? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter

I Think I Have To Break Up With Saturday Night Live

My relationship with Saturday Night Live is at the point where I need to delete their number, block them on all forms of social media, and cringe whenever their name comes up in conversation.

I loved SNL. Not L-U-V. Not loosely. I had genuine affection for a sketch show that I could bond over with my dad, laugh about with my friends, and break the ice with strangers by referencing classic characters and lines. When have you been able to do that with this current cast? Kate McKinnon’s “Hillary Clinton” maybe, and then what? Another sour-faced Taran Killam creation?

Rather than develop memorable characters or be funny anymore, this current brand of SNL is all about what’s trendy and what might be viral the next day. Social media practically wrote last Saturday’s “Larry David as Bernie Sanders” cold open on the night of the Democratic Debate.

Then host Tracy Morgan was reunited with his 30 Rock cast mates for his monologue. That was terrific! Understanding how far Morgan has come since his near fatal bus accident over a year ago, it was a special moment for him and his fans. What was note-worthy after the monologue though? I changed the channel two sketches later when the writers were resorting to poop jokes and more cutaways to awkward Keenan Thompson reactions.

It’s not the Saturday Night Live I grew up with. Being a kid in the 90’s, I had Wayne’s World, Operaman, Matt Foley, and yes, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. Characters like that made me so interested in the past and all the superstars that were produced from the show like John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy and Gilda Radner. That all made me romanticize about Second City in Chicago and how I could eventually see performers there show up on NBC every Saturday nights.

Outside of McKinnon and maybe Pete Davidson, there’s nobody in the current cast that makes me excited for what they can do after Saturday Night Live. There isn’t a Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader or Kristen Wiig. You couldn’t pay me to suffer through another Kyle Mooney “I’m a nervous kid giving a high school presentation” bit. I’m sure Cecily Strong, Aidy Bryant, and Vanessa Bayer will do fine in complimentary roles in the future, but I’m not tuning in or buying a movie ticket because of them. And Jay Pharoah’s impressions have gone from “wow, that’s dead on,” to “oh look, it’s Jay Pharoah as Jay Pharoah trying to be someone else.”

You also know it’s not your kind of show anymore when saying something critical about SNL on Twitter turns into having to block every One-Directioner, Belieber, and Demi Lovato fan that lives-and-dies by things like that, and wants you to know it. That’s right. SNL is the Justin Bieber of television. They make headlines over quality for ratings. Choosing Miley Cyrus to host your season premiere and to give Donald Trump an entire episode is more than enough proof of that. I certainly don’t plan on watching the Trump episode, but I would find some comfort in reading the next morning that musical guest Sia went Sinead O’Connor on a photo of him.

The 40th Anniversary Special last winter was everything. I hadn’t laughed that hard in years, thanks to the Celebrity Jeopardy reprisal, Bill Murray singing, and Wayne Campbell telling Kanye to sit down. They played the hits, just like you’d want to hear at classic rock band’s concert. There were clips of sketches that have lasted over four decades, and hardly anything from the current cast. It was great. It also reminded me that any of the better moments on the show recently had to do with a former cast member making a surprise appearance or hosting…and that Colin Jost still sucks.

Rather than waste more time on a Saturday evening or DVR space, I have to let SNL go. The fact I felt compelled to write over 700 words on the topic is probably a pretty good reason to (and probably get some help as well). Maybe SNL will change for the better. Maybe it will be funny again. The healthier thing for me, and perhaps you, to do is to not wait and see.

Can you relate? Want to talk me off the ledge? Let me know on Twitter and Facebook.