One of the biggest cliches regarding Hollywood and film is that “original material is dead”. To the people who feel that way, I would recommend going to their nearest theater and checking out Room and Bridge of Spies. We do seem to receive news on a daily basis of an upcoming reboot or sequel to a classic that’s either been long overdue or way too late.

Some of these projects are exciting and give us something to look forward to. Others just make you shake your head and ask…”Why?”

A remake to a film or franchise can be refreshing. Most of us are Shawshanked (naturally forced to sit and watch the rest of the way through, no matter the time) whenever Ocean’s Eleven comes on TV, the George Clooney version and not the 1960 Frank Sinatra one. Did you see the Footloose remake though? Neither did I.

There are a number of reboots and sequels coming to theaters in the next year or so. Many of the original titles are decades old. I’ll here to separate what’s worth the hype and what’s not.

 

Yes!

(Movies To Look Forward To)

Zoolander 2 (2016)

Although the original was released 15 years before this sequel hits theaters, it still works because the two stars NEVER AGE. Seriously, whatever moisturizer these guys are using makes 15 years look like 5.

…and they’re killing off Bieber, so at least the movie has that going for it. Just avoid anything the Anchorman did. Seriously.

 

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Aside from jerks who lack imagination, everyone is looking forward to this film and rightfully so. The build up and marketing for Episode VII has been remarkably. While it’s been over 30 years since Han Solo was unfrozen from carbonite on the screen, chills ran down my spine hearing him say “…we’re home”, alongside a Chewbacca roar.

Returning to a set that isn’t so dependent on CGI and green screen like Episodes I-III has audiences excited. It’s also fun for both new and old generations of fans to see new characters on new adventures with old ones.

 

Spider-Man (2017)

I, like many, was left with a really bad taste in my mouth after Spider-Man 3. It bothered me so much that I didn’t even see the Andrew Garfield version until I happened upon it on FX like a month ago…and I still didn’t feel like I missed out.

Now that Spider-Man is home in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, my spidey senses are tingling again (yeah, I said it). We’ll get our first look at the reboot edition in the highly anticipated Captain America: Civil Waras he chooses a side between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. This means we won’t have to go through ANOTHER origin radioactive spider bite story when Peter Parker gets his solo film in 2017. We also know he’ll be in high school played by an actor who is actually in the appropriate age-range, Tom Holland. Tobey Maguire and Garfield were both in their very late twenties when they played high school Peter Parker.

It will be fun to see how the new Spider-Man fits into the Marvel/Avengers story going forward and who he will face off with. Hopefully NOT the Green Goblin for a 3rd time.

 

Ghostbusters (2016)

I really don’t get why the idea of this film is so controversial. It’s an expansion of the Ghostbusters universe and features a female dominant cast with Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy and current SNL cast members Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones. Bridesmaids director/Freaks and Geeks writer Paul Feig is teaming up with Parks and Recreation for what’s meant to be a series of new Ghostbusters films that Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson have not only signed off on, but plan to appear in as well.

Also, Chris Hemsworth is their receptionist, so…there’s that.

 

NOPE!

(Movies Nobody Asked For)

 

Momento 

AMBI Pictures, run by Andrea Iervolino and Monika Bacardi, announced this week that they will be financing a remake of Christopher Nolan’s breakout film, Momento. In the statement breaking the news, Bacardi said:

“Memento is a masterpiece that leaves audiences guessing not just throughout the film, but long after as well, which is a testament to its daring approach.”

Then leave the damn thing alone! Better yet, just rerelease it theaters because it only made $25 million initially and was regarded as a modern classic right after. You can’t tell me though that anyone was asking for a new take or reimagining of this story.

 

Point Break (2015)

 

I’m convinced there is an evil group of film backers who want to remake Patrick Swayze’s whole filmography and in the worst ways possible. This is Exhibit A.

I understand there are different “extreme sports” being portrayed (snowboarding instead of surfing), but you could simply call the movie something else and change the character names to make it more appealing…Ya know, like The Fast and the Furious or something like that.

Here’s the original 1991 trailer.

“Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true…”, like a remake to this movie with worse actors.

 

Road House 

This is Exhibit B in the case for a Swayze movie conspiracy…

All we know about this movie is that Ronda Rousey has been casted to play Swayze’s character. A columnist for GQ, Jack Moore (who LOVES this idea), says this should work because “Ronda Rousey could end up being the new Patrick Swayze!”

…

Okay, I’m back from throwing up.

I’m not an MMA fan so I don’t share the adoration for Rousey as many people do. I also didn’t see The Entourage movie and don’t feel like I’m missing out. I have seen the other films she’s appeared in and don’t really want to again. I know that she’s the one thing that UFC has to promote itself and that she wants to join WWE. And like I said regarding the new Point Break, you can make the “Rousey as a bouncer” movie and not call it ‘Road House’. Rousey herself doesn’t sound all that confident about doing the film after telling reporters, “The worst thing that’s going to happen is, is that I’ll really suck and just disgrace the name of Swayze and ‘Road House,’ and everyone will hate me.”

+1 for self awareness.

 

Top Gun 2

I need this photo to have Maverick giving a thumbs down.

The original is almost 30 years old. Yeah, Tom Cruise is in fantastic shape and still kicking ass in the Mission Impossible franchise and Jack Reacher, but you’re not going to bring either Goose or Tony Scott back to get me excited for this sequel. There’s also a lot of confusion as to whether Cruise will even accept the offer to play Maverick again…Val Kilmer’s already editing his Facebook statuses about it, so it will probably go straight to DVD or VOD.

 

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

 

Will Smith isn’t signed up for this film so neither am I. Seriously, you could air it on SyFy after the next Sharknado and it will get as much hype as it would going to theaters.

(Sidenote: Not included is the long rumored Space Jam 2. Personally, I don’t mind if kids today get to see one featuring LeBron James because many of them weren’t even born while Michael Jordan was playing basketball. Just let that sink in…)

 

Any other reboots and sequels that interest you or make you sick? Let me know on Facebook or Twitter.