Dumb NBA Poll: Shaq’s Lakers vs. Scottie’s Bulls

Things are slow at this point in the NBA offseason. So of course Shaquille O’Neal tried to make something interesting…

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Shots fired, Shaq!

Of course Bulls ambassador and NBA Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen stepped in to defend his team’s honor.

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Sick burn, Scottie! 

(Note: That is in “sarcasm font”)

The back and forth continued some more as Shaq photoshopped Scottie’s face into a T-Mobile sidekick, and Pippen has appeared to have the last laugh…for now.

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My problem with this argument is that I don’t think the actual “all-time greats” are being represented. Shaq’s Lakers list may be correct: Magic Johnson, Kobe Bryant, Elgin Baylor, Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Shaq…although O’Neal could arguably be switched out for Wilt Chamberlain (and then not even be a part of this discussion).

The Bulls “all-time” team isn’t represented well though. MVP Rose, Michael Jordan, and Scottie are fine, but where are Chet Walker or Artis Gilmore? Walker and Gilmore rank 6 and 7 as Chicago Bulls all-time scores. Former Utah Jazz head coach Jerry Sloan is 5th all-time in Bulls scoring. Rodman is the team’s all-time best rebounder, but Horace Grant…? Come on, Shaq.

Regardless of silly hypotheticals and superlatives, these “Fantasy” teams will never face off. Just fodder for talk shows across the country and sports blog circulation (like this one).

Comment or Tweet with your all-time teams for both the Lakers and Bulls, and vote here with who you’d take in a game.

Blackhawks Celebrity Fans vs. Hulk Hogan

After both teams shook hands and the lights went dim at the Honda Center following the Western Conference Finals Game 7, Anaheim Ducks Super Fan/Crazy Person Emilio Estevez went eerily quiet on Twitter. All week, Estevez took to social media to channel a drunk version of his 1992 character, Coach Gordon Bombay, from ‘The Mighty Ducks’ to troll Chicago Blackhawks and act super sensitive when the tables were turned on him (he blocked me). The day after, Estevez did what all celebrities do after acting a fool on Twitter…claimed he was hacked (sarcastically).

And now Emilio’s watch (and relevance) has ended.

Picking up the flag for Blackhawks antagonists, and ripping his tank top off in the process, is 12-time Champion of the World and apparent Tampa Bay Lightning die hard, Hulk Hogan.

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“Chicago’s in a whole bunch of trouble,” said Hogan at an ESPN Special Olympics event yesterday. He also noted that the Lightning are undefeated when his daughter, Brooke, sings the National Anthem…

As I type that last bit, I start to wonder if this is really just plea to the Lightning to have his daughter sing in the Stanley Cup Final, but Hulkamania is “Running Wild” in Tampa regardless. While I would be more than okay with Hogan planting a running leg drop on Chicago’s worst celebrity ever, Jim Belushi, I have a few high profile fans in mind that I’d love to throw in the ring with him…rocking the Indian Head sweater.

1. CM Punk

CM Punk Blackhawks

The “Straight Edge Superstar”, former World Heavyweight/WWE Champion, and UFC Fighter is a longtime committed Blackhawks fan and favorite among “shoot the puck” contestants. In the wake of Tampa’s “No Blackhawks jerseys in certain sections” announcement, Punk took to Twitter to let the Lightning know he’s coming.

Since Hogan will be there, can we get an Intermission “Hardcore Rules” Match please?

2. Mr. T.

(Love the little shot at Belushi from Susannah Collins)

Coincidentally, both Mr. T and Hogan starred in Rocky III together as Clubber Lang and Thunderlips. They also tag teamed on Saturday Night Live and WrestleMania II

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but don’t be surprised to see the Lake Forest, IL resident lace’em up when the series makes it’s way back to the United Center. Anytime you’re asked to make a prediction on this series (or anything ever) the answer should be “PAIN!”

3. Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan Bhawks

Is there a bigger name synonymous with Chicago? That question was rhetorical…His uniform and the Bulls championship banners he earned hang in the same arena that the Blackhawks skate in, but even Michael Jordan is a fan of a team on the verge of “dynasty” status. A photo of Jordan wearing his Blackhawks jersey was making the rounds before Game 7 against the Ducks the other night, and articles sillier than this one did as well. You can bet #23 will be doing it again during the Stanley Cup Final.

You may remember Hollywood Hogan tag-teaming with Dennis Rodman for a WCW pay per view against Karl Malone and Diamond Dallas Page, but how about that MTV Celebrity Deathmatch when MJ took on Rodman (where Claymation Jordan said he was thinking about joining the NHL)?…You’re next, Claymation Hogan.

4. Vince Vaughn

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I was a little reluctant to post this, given Vince Vaughn’s recent comments that turned him into a polarizing political figure…but the guy has been at the games and was doing so when nobody was. Way more than Jim Belushi. And you get the feeling that his role in the upcoming season ofTrue Detective will make him appear to be someone you want on your side. He seemed to still be in character while lurking from his suite earlier in the Ducks series.

“Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion”, Vince.

5. Chicago Baseball

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One of my favorite things to see are teams in the same city supporting each other. Despite manager Joe Maddon claiming he’s Switzerland in this series (since he managed in Tampa Bay for so long), the Chicago Cubs are in full Blackhawks mode…I couldn’t let the White Sox go unrecognized though as players like Adam Eaton have been showing their love all season long.

If their schedules permit it, I’d love to see players from both clubs (as well as the Bears and Bulls) along the glass when the Blackhawks play at home. If Paul Pierce can do it, anybody can.

Honorable mention…

Charles Barkley Hawks

…Because he’s Charles Barkley.

Who are some other Chicago celebrities that you’d like to see wearing Blackhawks jerseys during the Stanley Cup Final? Let me know on Twitter @Mike_PiFF03.